So, while I was writing my post about my session, my T called. I let it go to voice mail, figuring he was calling to leave me my message, even though he usually doesn't do it until the night after session, or even the next morning.

When I finally listened to the message, I could tell T was upset. I was waiting for him to get to the point...and basically he was like "I don't know if you've noticed this yet, but I wrote SOMEONE ELSE'S name on your receipt". Huh?

He was super super super apologetic. He said he had to think about what that was about. He said he felt awful that right when we were repairing our rupture he did that. He asked if we could connect by phone later. He apologized about 56389063 more times.

So. I went to look at the receipt, and yep, someone else's name is on there. Because it's a carbon copy, I can't see the person's last name (T has messy handwriting) but I can clearly make out her first name.

So. My first thought was "poor T, that sucks". Then I decided it was just a crazy mistake...maybe he saw her name in the appt book while he was writing my receipt, or we were chatting and he was distracted, or whatever. I'm sure that's it. But part of me really wants to go to "he's still angry at me", "he wrote down the name of his REAL favorite client", whatever.

I left T a message and told him, first of all, that I couldn't see the person's last name, so he didn't need to worry about confidentiality. And I told him that I was trying to just stay in a place of wondering and not jumping to conclusions. It just is what it is. But it feels weird and man, talk about crappy timing.

We will probably talk on the phone later, which is good, because I think I just need a little reassurance.

Poor T. I bet he SO wishes he could get a do-over on that one.

[pachyderm]

Where is the spirally smilie?

[sittingatwatersedge]

>>> ......part of me really wants to go to "he's still angry at me", "he wrote down the name of his REAL favorite client".......

AAAAAAAAa please don't go there!!!

Say Treehouse, I was wondering..... instead of reassuring him, why not let T sit in his feelings for a while? Probably good for him?

seriously - he's trying so hard to be what you need. He's human, but he's trying. You know that. I really, really like this guy. And you - you are doing great.

PS thanks for unlimited hugs, I needed them.

[rainbow8]

tree, I think you're handling this one great! I admire your T for calling you and apologizing. He reminds me of a puppy begging for forgiveness. It was an unfortunate accident but he knows how upset you could be about it. i love your T!

[Perna]

That's okay, I saw my T for 9 years and terminated and got married in the interim and then 9 years after we terminated I saw her again for 9 years. At the END of the second nine years, she wrote me a check in my maiden name, she'd never "learned" my new name at all, even though my checks have both my and my husband's name on them and I wrote her what, at least 40 times a year x 9 years equals 360-400 checks and saw her in person 360 times?

LOL, it happens. If you see a lot of people, have a bunch of clients you are going to be thinking lots of things. Maybe that person forgot to pay your T and here you were paying, etc., wishful thinking on T's part that the other pay

I just got off the phone with t. He explained what happened and it made sense.

I asked if he was still mad at me, and he said no. I asked if he accidentally put down the name of his REAL favorite client, and he laughed and said "definitely not".

He said just because it made sense, that didn't mean that I couldn't have feelings. So, I told him that at first I was worried about him, and then I moved on to "what the hell?"

But it's okay now. At the end of the conversation, I told him we need to make a deal that neither of us will do anything stupid for a while. He laughed, and we made a deal that we'd definitely try.

Whew! Ready for this week of therapy to be OVER!

[SpiritRunner]

wow, tree, you HAVE had quite a week!! I bet poor T really was so distressed to find out he'd had a big brain fart like that, especially with all that's been going on between you. But I agree, you seem to be handling it well and remembering to keep it in perspective as just a simple mistake and not a portent of something T has against you!

[Sweetlove]

Oh Lord Tree what a week. Although, I have to say (and this is probably my therapyish psych-student brain talking) I think your T's reciept mistake was just what you needed. This is what I'm thinking:

He was the one who triggered you at the beginning of the week, essentially the one who caused your turmoil (although you could say it was also your core issues coming into play) but he didn't realize it at all...you sat with your pain and shame alone without him having a clue as to what he did until he got your message and read your email.

However, with him making this mistake writing the wrong client's name on your receipt, he was sitting with his shame and embarrassment when you didn't even know it. He got a chance to experience a piece of what you were feeling, and wondering where those feelings were coming from. It was his turn to feel his actions the guilt that came with it.

I think maybe you needed him to feel a bit of what you felt, realize that he makes mistakes that affect him as well. It means a lot that he wanted to connect by phone also. You mean a lot to your T, Tree. Most people would kill to have a T like yours. There are times like this week when you went in for an extra session and he didn't charge you and today when he called and left a message appologizing a thousand times, that really show what a deep connection the two of you have. I'm very lucky to have a T like that also, but some people don't get that gift, and we have to remind ourselves in times of disconnect, disapointment, or ruptures, that there are times like this that show us what we REALLY have.

Hope you have a great weekend...you need to do something for yourself now

[Oceanwave]

[quote=treehouse;1760568]I just got off the phone with t. He explained what happened and it made sense. [quote]

So what happened in the end, why did he mess up?

[granite1]

just wOW

[quote=Oceanwave;1760847][quote=treehouse;1760568]I just got off the phone with t. He explained what happened and it made sense.

So what happened in the end, why did he mess up?

We had just realized that he scheduled someone else in my regular appt time next week. He was saying "I guess that's how mad I was" and was still pondering it when he was writing my receipt,and he wrote the other person's name down. He said he doesn't even remember writing a name, because he was thinking.

That was what I had guessed had happened, but it was still nice to connect with T around it and be reassured. And we were able to laugh about it, which felt good, because laughing with T feels safe and connecting to me.

[Oceanwave]

[quote=treehouse;1760991][quote=Oceanwave;1760847]

Originally Posted by treehouse

I just got off the phone with t. He explained what happened and it made sense.

We had just realized that he scheduled someone else in my regular appt time next week. He was saying "I guess that's how mad I was" and was still pondering it when he was writing my receipt,and he wrote the other person's name down. He said he doesn't even remember writing a name, because he was thinking.

That was what I had guessed had happened, but it was still nice to connect with T around it and be reassured. And we were able to laugh about it, which felt good, because laughing with T feels safe and connecting to me.

Sounds quite innocent. I'm glad you two figured it out and I hope you are feeling better about this. It just shows that he was very anxious not to mess up. You know when some people mess up they then just make one mistake after the other. And then that creates a spiral in you, which again makes T insecure, and he makes mistakes again, and so on. Let it go, if you can - that will stop the cycle.
*hugs*

[quote=Oceanwave;1760998][quote=treehouse;1760991]

Originally Posted by Oceanwave

Let it go, if you can - that will stop the cycle.
*hugs*

Oh, I have. T and I are good now.

[BlackCanary]

OK, I withdraw my other wow
This sounds more like your good T!!