[nannypat]

I told my T something really painful today through all the tears and shame. It was soooo hard. I just wanted to hide. I knew, though it had to come out to progress with therapy as he put it " secrets that shouldn't be kept" He was so gentle and accepting and non judgmental and caring, it made me cry even more. He is more than I deserve. He congratulated me on being able to tell him and when i was leaving he asked me to try and keep a little piece of him with me. I am crying again just thinking about it.

You are all a big reason for me being able to do it. I read how honest you are able to be with your T.s and I know mine wants me to feel safe with him and I want to but I had to try it out I guess. Thanks for writing about it and showing me by example how it can be if I am will to try.I truly appreciate it.

[lastyearisblank]

That's amazing nannypat! Well done!

[Elli-Beth]

Yay Nannypat! It's difficult and scary, but it'll be worth it in the long run!

[dizgirl2011]

Massive hugs and congrats hun, you did soooooo well!!

[SpiritRunner]

well done, you were so brave and I am so proud of you!

[Gently1]

Nannypat

You are Courageous and Generous to share a very difficult session, how wonderful you have found non-judgemental support.

G1

[Suratji]

I know how tough that kind of sharing can be. It took me a long time before I could - so yes, congratulations to you!!!

(((((((((((((((nannypat))))))))))))))

You are so brave!

I love that T told you to "keep a little piece" of him with you. That's something I used to try to do with my T after really hard sessions.

And he is NOT more than you deserve...you deserve compassion and gentleness and understanding and caring. You matter. I'm glad you got all of those things from T.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Good job! I'm proud of you!

[nannypat]

I feel a little shaky today realizing what I did and that I will have to own it when I go back. It's kind of a "oh no" feeling.Is that normal? I guess nothing could be harder than telling him though. so I will get through it.
Again, Thank you all for helping me get to this point. Sending you lots of hugs.

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by nannypat

I feel a little shaky today realizing what I did and that I will have to own it when I go back. It's kind of a "oh no" feeling.Is that normal? I guess nothing could be harder than telling him though. so I will get through it.
Again, Thank you all for helping me get to this point. Sending you lots of hugs.

yes, the feelings are normal! it will be OK, T will still be non-judgmental, caring, compassionate when you go back......T will still be T, and you will still be you (as my T told me....after sharing difficult things and after getting my diagnoses recently, too)

[Elli-Beth]

Yup, the session I worried about the most was the one right after a big disclosure, but he was still his same supportive self. In fact, the first thing he told me was how honored he was that I would share such a difficult thing with him!

Originally Posted by nannypat

I feel a little shaky today realizing what I did and that I will have to own it when I go back. It's kind of a "oh no" feeling.Is that normal? I guess nothing could be harder than telling him though. so I will get through it.
Again, Thank you all for helping me get to this point. Sending you lots of hugs.

For me, the hardest part, by far, is the time between the "telling" and the next session. It's so scary to imagine that T KNOWS now, and that things might be different somehow...but in my experience, at the next session, T is still the same T, and his feelings about me haven't changed.

It's become easier for me over time...when I first started telling my story, it was so, so hard to wait for that next session and imagine what it would be like.

You are not alone, and you are okay.

[nannypat]

Originally Posted by poetgirl76

yes, the feelings are normal! it will be OK, T will still be non-judgmental, caring, compassionate when you go back......T will still be T, and you will still be you (as my T told me....after sharing difficult things and after getting my diagnoses recently, too)

I want him to still be T. I have this fear that somehow he will be different when I go back. That he won.t want me back. I guess I somehow know it's from old stuff when I felt like I was thrown away when people were done with me, and he didn't act like that at all yet that fear is there. It doesn't make sense, yet those feelings are there. So confusing.

Thanks for being there, and the reassurance.