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#1
Apr 06, 2011, 11:32 AM
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Yesterday in session, I was telling my T about how emotionally I am numb right now. But this time it feels very different. He said that I went down my rabbit hole. I tend to do that!
Today at lunch I was enjoying just sitting there with the sunshine and playing a game on my iPad while listening to music. That is when something dawned on me. As a child, we try to dig our way through the earth in hopes of comming out the other side. Children love to think about what that would look like! My T said something - he said I had allowed my emotions to go deeper - past the anger. And I thought "Well, what is past anger?" This time it is not a true numbing. I didn't avoid the emotions last week, I was with them fully. I don't want them again, but I was there with them while they were with me. Then it was true, I went deep into my hole. And I kept on digging and digging and falling down. Sometimes I think Alice in Wonderland may be a fitting metaphore in these situations. I feel like I dug so deeply that I dug all the way through the earth and here I am on the other side. Perhaps standing on the ceiling in the way children imagine meeting the kids on the other side of the earth. Either way, I am glad I allowed myself to just be with whatever all that was. Also, I have a sense I will never be the same. And maybe that is a very good thing? After all, that is why I am in therapy - because my old way of doing things wasn't working. 
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 elliemay, PTSDlovemycats, rainbow8, SpiritRunner, Suratji
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#2
Apr 06, 2011, 11:35 AM
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((((((WePow))))))
So what is on the other side of the rabbit hole, do you know? Can you name it? |
| WePow
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#3
Apr 06, 2011, 11:40 AM
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No name yet - I have never been here before, so it is new to me. LOL. Naming emotions are based on having a reference. This has no reference for me yet.
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| Suratji
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#4
Apr 06, 2011, 02:32 PM
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Look at you!! Making all these breakthoughs?
Tell us what you find on the other side, Wepow, ok? 
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| WePow
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#5
Apr 06, 2011, 02:40 PM
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Quote:
I wonder if it could be..... you, WePow? that sounds healing on a deep level... 
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| Oceanwave, SpiritRunner, WePow
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#6
Apr 06, 2011, 04:39 PM
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wow, Wepow, just wow.....what is past anger for me, I wonder, I don't know if I have a name to put to anything like that either. except I think SAWE has a good thought.......you, a healed you, maybe peace? Not the absence of pain or of emotion, but the presence of peace and healing nonetheless.....a sort of joy or contentment, maybe a liberty? I don't know, just thinking out loud.....anyway, I am happy to see you growing so much!
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| WePow
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#7
Apr 06, 2011, 04:39 PM
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__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT  Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
| WePow
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#8
Apr 06, 2011, 05:23 PM
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Thanks for sharing that WePow.
I'd like to think there is some peace on the other side of anger. 
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| WePow
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#9
Apr 06, 2011, 06:37 PM
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(((All)))
I have heard that joy is the absence of pain. Because I have NEVER been without pain (even total numbness was painful - I came up with my saying "The worst pain is NOT"), well, maybe this new thing I don't understand yet is the joy everyone talked about?
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