[SpiritRunner]

So, I go see pdoc again today.....butterflies in my tummy, well, they feel more like elephants galumphing around in there! I have been feeling so run-down on this med, so slowed down physically, so tired.....it's hard to function sometimes! My mind keeps moving or wanting to move, but my body wants to park and sleep.....irritating. And I know pdoc said he wants to keep increasing the dose, and I am terrified of turning into a zombie! T called and left him a message about this these things and some progress she feels I've made in therapy......hoping this helps.
I hope I can just let myself be vulnerable and open and honest, though I am scared, remembering how he shredded me last time, or I felt shredded anyway! Hopefully, it's better this time, and he hears me about the meds. Maybe I can take them at night, so if they make me sleepy I can just go to bed and have some energy in the daytime to take care of my kids.
Anyway, this may not be an exciting party, but if anyone wants to hop in my pocket today, you're welcome!

[Miss Laura]

Hey Poetgirl, I hope today goes well for you

[sugahorse1]

Think of it as possible relief from all these symptoms you are experiencing now. He's there to help you. And you can stop the meds if u feel they aren't helping

[maggyjo]

I hope it goes well.

I take my meds at night or with dinner and it does seem to help. I told my Pdoc the one thing I will not tolerate is felling fatigued. I have 7 kids at home, 6 under 18 and the youngest twins. I need to be alert and able to chase kids.

I think my Pdoc is going to want to increase my meds when I go in too. I am going to beg for more time. The other day I hit the button to close the garage door before the van was all the way out!!

Maggy Jo

[sunrise]

Good luck with pdoc today, pgirl. I hope he doesn't shred you again. That sounds bad! I don't know if it's true with the med you were prescribed, but I've learned from my courses that some psych meds have more of a negative effect at a lower dose, so as you increase them, the side effects (e.g. fatigue) resolve and the desired effects occur. So that might be a question to ask your pdoc if he wants to increase the dose.

Originally Posted by poetgirl76

I hope I can just let myself be vulnerable and open and honest, though I am scared, remembering how he shredded me last time, or I felt shredded anyway!

Hmmm, I wonder if it is necessary to be vulnerable with a pdoc that one sees just for meds? My sense is that pdocs are frequently most interested in symptomology rather than patient vulnerability. They want to know how you are sleeping, your energy level, your mood, etc. I wonder if it would be easier to get through the appointment if you stick to symptoms and don't attempt to be vulnerable, especially since it sounds like he was kind of harsh last time (you were vulnerable and he stomped on it?).

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by sunrise

Good luck with pdoc today, pgirl. I hope he doesn't shred you again. That sounds bad! I don't know if it's true with the med you were prescribed, but I've learned from my courses that some psych meds have more of a negative effect at a lower dose, so as you increase them, the side effects (e.g. fatigue) resolve and the desired effects occur. So that might be a question to ask your pdoc if he wants to increase the dose. I didn't know that about the increase in med/side effects going away, I will ask him that.

Hmmm, I wonder if it is necessary to be vulnerable with a pdoc that one sees just for meds? My sense is that pdocs are frequently most interested in symptomology rather than patient vulnerability. They want to know how you are sleeping, your energy level, your mood, etc. I wonder if it would be easier to get through the appointment if you stick to symptoms and don't attempt to be vulnerable, especially since it sounds like he was kind of harsh last time (you were vulnerable and he stomped on it?).

Hopefully, we do just stick to the symptoms and stuff.....and he leaves the other stuff alone, because he WAS harsh last time. What I am meaning about the honest and open factor, is that last time he told me about how I have lived a charade and my life is a lie and I don't have insight, so I just want to appear, and BE, honest and open in general!As if it matters what he thinks if he's just doing the meds, but for some odd reason it does matter that he thinks I am being honest and open and getting better personality-wise.......

thanks for the support, all!

[rainbow8]

Good luck, poetgirl! I'll hop in your pocket. You're making me scared about meds. I'm tired enough; I don't want to be more tired. Do you feel better otherwise? I don't get it. What good is feeling less depressed if we're too exhausted to appreciate it?

I hope the pdoc is nicer than the last time.

[rainbow8]

How could he tell you that your life is a charade and you're living a lie?????? I know you posted all about that, but it still makes no sense. He doesn't KNOW you. Where did he get that information from? Something sounds "off" about him. Did you say your T recommended him and knows him? No wonder you're scared!!!! More hugs.

[Sweetlove]

Good luck today Poetgirl...I'll be thinking of you

I'll be in your pocket too!

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by poetgirl76

I didn't know that about the increase in med/side effects going away, I will ask him that.

It's only some meds that are this way. For most meds, the side effects worsen if you increase the dose. Also, for a lot of meds, the side effects lessen with time as your body adapts to the medication. I don't know how long you've been on this med, but it could be too soon to make a judgment one way or another.

Originally Posted by poetgirl76

What I am meaning about the honest and open factor, is that last time he told me about how I have lived a charade and my life is a lie and I don't have insight, so I just want to appear, and BE, honest and open in general!

That sounds pretty judgmental to say when he doesn't even know you. Hopefully his prescribing skills are better. Good luck today!

Originally Posted by rainbow8

You're making me scared about meds. I'm tired enough; I don't want to be more tired. Do you feel better otherwise? I don't get it. What good is feeling less depressed if we're too exhausted to appreciate it?

Rainbow, it's not a goal of pharmacotherapy that you feel tired. If that is happening, it needs to be discussed with the pdoc so that the dose can be adjusted, the timing of administration changed, another med tried, etc. And sometimes a negative side effect may outweigh the symptoms a person is having without the med, such as with someone who is having a lot of hallucinations or really strong compulsions and isn't able to function in daily life.

[PleaseHelp]

Poetgirl - I'm sorry you are having a hard time. It sounds like you feel intimidated by your Pdoc, in my experiences that is not a good thing. And throw me in a pocket. I'm starting to like pocket riding

[SpiritRunner]

wasn't so bad, after all. it was only a half hour, so he didn't spend much time shredding me. just at the first, where he said stuff about me not being able to live up to my potential and needing helping with my coping skills to be a better mother/support to my H.....not so bad, just hard on my pride that he thinks I am not insightful enough, haven't coped as well as I thought I have with all the issues I have and have been sitting around moldering instead of being functional and productive! ah well.....it doesn't matter, he doesn't know me.....as he said, he is mostly concerned with my highs and lows and with regulating my medicine dosage. and yes, he is upping the dose, but I can take it in the eve. and that should help. he also gave me some samples and some info on a copay program because of the cost of my meds; so that was actually quite nice. he's not so bad, just very, very blunt, direct, and somewhat stern, neither sympathetic nor completely unsympathetic.
so thanks for riding along, it was nice to have company with me he couldn't see!

[BlessedRhiannon]

Glad your appointment wasn't too bad. He does sound a bit harsh, but like you said, he doesn't know you...so I say, ignore his attempts at analysis and listen to what he has to say on meds!

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Glad your appointment wasn't too bad. He does sound a bit harsh, but like you said, he doesn't know you...so I say, ignore his attempts at analysis and listen to what he has to say on meds!

yup, that is what I will do! I don't need to see him for 3 more months now, so that should be easy enough.....