dying cat

May 02, 2011, 07:18 AM

***trigger for talking about death***

I think my cat is dying and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I posted in the pets forum, but I don't know how busy that forum is, so I am posting here too, in case anyone would be willing to go read there.

To make it topical...my T's brother is a vet and I am SO tempted to call him and ask him to call his brother and ask what I should do, but I know that's so not what our therapists are for. When my other cat was having strokes last summer, I do know that he mentioned it to his brother, because at my next session, he told me what his brother said about cats. But I seriously doubt he made a special call on my behalf, you know? That's just not how our relationship works.

and I guess also on the topic of therapy....my dad died about 7 years ago. He was only 54. He died at home, but we knew he was dying, and he was under the care of hospice (he had cancer). His last few days kind of haunt me, and this is bringing that back a bit.

I am scared to call my vet, because I'm scared she'll want me to bring him in, and I would feel bad disturbing him. I think it might just be his time (he's 17) and he is terrified of the car/vet/etc. I don't want to make him suffer if there's nothing to be done.

Ack

Luce · May 02, 2011, 07:25 AM

Sorry to hear about your cat.

Nursing a beloved pet through their last time can be hard. It can also be a precious time.
I hope you do give your vet a call. There's no need to be scared - if the vet suggests you take the cat in you are not in any way compelled to. You do not *have* to do what the vet says. The vet may have good advice to offer, with or without moving kitty.

As for what you are 'supposed' to do... make him as comfortable as you can. Love him. That's all.

elliemay · May 02, 2011, 07:26 AM

I posted on the pets forum.

Splintered · May 02, 2011, 07:26 AM

I'm so sorry this is happening

It's really hard to see our pets struggling and not really know what's going on. Does he seem to be in any pain? It might be worth calling your vet just to see what she says. Even if she wants you to bring him in you don't have to, you could just say that you'll wait a few hours and see how he is then. I know if it was me I'd be tempted to keep him at home if he didn't seem to be in any pain. But then I know with animals it's hard to tell whether they're in pain or not. I'm sorry this is bringing back bad memories for you. I agree calling t to ask him to call his brother isn't really what he's there for but maybe you could call him and get some support.

WePow · May 02, 2011, 07:34 AM

You CAN call your T for the emotional support in this time. As you said, it is bringing up the trigger from your father's passing. Just for that part of this, I say reach out to T. BIG hugs for you!!

dizgirl2011 · May 02, 2011, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by treehouse

***trigger for talking about death***

I think my cat is dying and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I posted in the pets forum, but I don't know how busy that forum is, so I am posting here too, in case anyone would be willing to go read there.

To make it topical...my T's brother is a vet and I am SO tempted to call him and ask him to call his brother and ask what I should do, but I know that's so not what our therapists are for. When my other cat was having strokes last summer, I do know that he mentioned it to his brother, because at my next session, he told me what his brother said about cats. But I seriously doubt he made a special call on my behalf, you know? That's just not how our relationship works.

and I guess also on the topic of therapy....my dad died about 7 years ago. He was only 54. He died at home, but we knew he was dying, and he was under the care of hospice (he had cancer). His last few days kind of haunt me, and this is bringing that back a bit.

I am scared to call my vet, because I'm scared she'll want me to bring him in, and I would feel bad disturbing him. I think it might just be his time (he's 17) and he is terrified of the car/vet/etc. I don't want to make him suffer if there's nothing to be done.

Ack

*Massive hugs*, it sounds like you would really like to speak to your T for some words of comfort at the moment? I don't think there's anything wrong in that, loosing a pet is like loosing a family member as they are very much part of the family (human or not). Its also bringing up upset feelings about loosing your father so I dont think there would be anything wrong in ringing if your feeling upset...which is understandable...

You could ring a local vet and just ask whats the best thing to do and state how you dont really want to bring your cat in if its not nesscary.

My heart goes out to you, I have had 2 cats go missing that i was very attached to and it broke my heart. I now have 2 house cats (and two dogs who stay outside). we lost our dog who we had for about 13 years, a few years ago and I cried so much.

I hope if your cat is passing away that it happens peacefully and we are all here for you tree!!

granite1 · May 02, 2011, 07:46 AM

i'm sorry about your cat tree i def think you should call your T for some support.i know you brought up this trigger about your farther and i bet it is bothering you and i wouldnt feel bad about calling your T at all because it is on your mind.i am a huge cat person and i totally understant the not wanting to tramatise your cat bye bringing it to the vet if thare is nothing they can do.huggs to you and i am sorry

May 02, 2011, 07:54 AM

I know someone from my 12 step meetings who rescues cats and fosters them. she is a total cat expert. I'm going to call her. And then maybe my vet. And then maybe T?

I am a little bit more of a mess than I would expect myself to be. I wish I was strong at times like this. This is when I REALLY fail.

Splintered · May 02, 2011, 08:00 AM

You're not failing at all

Losing a pet we love is so, so hard and painful even at the best of times. It's even harder when it triggers other losses as well. You're doing everything you can to take care of your cat and look after him while you're struggling which to me is strength. I hope you do call your t

May 02, 2011, 08:56 AM

I called the vet and described what's going on. She said i could bring him in and have him euthanized, or just let him be in the closet. Right now he seems to be sleeping peacefully, so I'm just leaving him alone for now. Left a message with T. Didn't ask for a call back, but told him that if he could just think of me, it would help. I know he will.

May 02, 2011, 09:14 AM

Safe hugs, if wanted. I am in the same situation with my own cat. (See my avatar pic. That's the one.)

BlessedRhiannon · May 02, 2011, 09:23 AM

I've had to put down two dogs within the past year, and it is very, very hard! I talked to my T about it both times, and even called her before I took the dog to the vet. It's an incredibly difficult thing to decide to euthanize an animal, especially one that has shared your life and your love. It's not something to be taken lightly and it's not a failure to need your T's support in this.

I'm glad you called both your T and the vet. If your cat becomes worse, you might call your vet back and ask if they will do a house call to euthanize. Some will. I know mine probably would.

I'm so very sorry you're facing this with your cat.

learning1 · May 02, 2011, 10:01 AM

I think that's good your vet didn't push you to bring your cat in if the cat would be more comfortable at home. And at least you know the vet didn't think there was anything else they could do for the cat, so you don't have to worry about not having done something you could have done. Your cat is lucky to have a person who cares about him and wants to make him comfortable.

PreacherHeckler · May 02, 2011, 10:19 AM

Hi Tree,
It's so hard... I went through this with my 20 year old cat a couple of years ago. She was also terrified of cars and other animals and since she didn't seem to be in much pain I chose to keep her with me and allow her to die at home. It was extremely difficult (I held her for about 2 hours when death seemed imminent and waited until she was gone before I put her back down again) but it was also a very powerful moment of love, and as hard as it was I am thankful that I had the opportunity to be with her at the end and she was in a familiar, safe place.
I had an appointment with my T that morning too and I remember emailing him to say that I was holding my dying cat and I wouldn't be there unless she died before my appointment time because I wasn't leaving her to die alone. But it happened pretty quickly after that and I was able to go to therapy and my T (who's not a cat lover) was very caring and compassionate.
Call or email your T for support... it is a very difficult thing to go through. Pets are family, too!

Dani · May 02, 2011, 10:36 AM

I'm very sorry about your cat and I'm glad your vet didn't pressure you to bring him in to be euthanized. The decision is completely up to you and if you can make him as comfortable as you can, you will be able to spend the last moments with him, but I know it will be difficult, so I think reaching out to your T might be helpful.

In January, my 9-year-old cat was diagnosed with intestinal cancer and the vet had mentioned that I could bring her in to be put down right away, but I chose to wait a while because I wanted to spend more time with her and wanted to give her a chance to live a little longer. In February her condition got worse and when she wouldn't eat or drink anymore I knew it was time, and took her in.

I know this decision is so difficult, and you should do what you think it best. I will be praying for you and your cat and I'm very sorry for what you're going through.

ErinBear · May 02, 2011, 10:58 AM

These decisions are so hard. I don't know what things are like in your area. In our area, there are mobile vets which can travel to people's homes in a specially-equipped van. If for some reason you think your cat needs to be examined or even euthanized, but you don't want to put it through a trip in the car, these traveling vets can make that easier. My friends have used them here to euthanize their pets, and reduce the stress for everyone at that very difficult time. If that sort of service is available where you are, I thought I might mention it to you as an option to consider. My thoughts are with you at this very difficult time.

Thinking of you,
ErinBear

dizgirl2011 · May 02, 2011, 12:08 PM

Tree is there anyone with you at home at the moment or someone who could come over to be with you for a while? Family or a Friend perhaps?

*hugs*

May 02, 2011, 02:46 PM

We had him put to sleep about an hour ago. My 10 year old went with me. It was sad.

I'm talking to T at 5, mainly to make sure I'm doing the right thing for my kids.

zooropa · May 02, 2011, 02:48 PM

aww Tree

I'm so sorry.

Dani · May 02, 2011, 02:50 PM

I'm very sorry for your loss.

granite1 · May 02, 2011, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by treehouse

We had him put to sleep about an hour ago. My 10 year old went with me. It was sad.

I'm talking to T at 5, mainly to make sure I'm doing the right thing for my kids.

tree so sorry i know you are an awsome mom by making sure the kids are ok but how are you doing??