[seventyeight]

i think i reached some sort of plateau in my therapy today. i told my therapist the very last little bit of a shameful secret i have (well, more like something super embarassing about my body). it took me 90 minutes to get it out (we took "breaks" and talked about other things in between), and she was really, really great about it when i finally just said it. never in a million years had i planned on telling her (i guess i didn't think it was all that important or even therapy-related), but after thinking about it some more, i realized that if i told her this, there'd be nothing left that hadn't been told.

anyway, on my way home, i kept thinking, "what happens next? where do i go from here??" i'm wondering how therapy is going to feel now, now that everything is out there. there's not a single thing my therapist doesn't know about me now! she's out of the office next week, so i'll have more time to let all this sink in.

i was just wondering: does anyone else have experience with this, or any thoughts, comments, suggestions they'd like to share?

[sittingatwatersedge]

yesterday T asked me what triggers a certain reaction (one I had kept barbed wire around for 2 yrs) and I looked right at her and said, I don't want to tell you this.
And then i told her what triggered me the last time. It was so hard. She saw the size of what was coming and said, so quietly, take your time, it's OK, you are OK: just take all the time you need.
and then I told.
I have never been more upset in that room than I was yesterday, and when I had started the hour I hadn't ANY idea that this woudl come up - not ever again.

Kaboom.

I do think that there are plateaus. And a good thing that there are! I think Peaches wrote about it once, very beautifully,about resting on a landing after negotiating some exhausting stairs... all I know is, there has to be a quiet time before you make another try, but that darned onion has many, many layers, seventyeight.
the good news s, you can go at yr own pace. Congratulations on having made a big step. Take a breath now (and I will too) this for you

[lastyearisblank]

Thank you for this post. I am so intrigued by sharing body image stuff in therapy because I always wonder if that is really in the "boundaries" of what therapy is. I guess it is.

Maybe this is like that feeling after you've seen someone naked (I guess you didn't see your T naked, but for some reason it just made me think of that). Like "what happens next". I would trust the process to go where it needs to go after this.

[Elli-Beth]

My T now knows every last secret, have had 2 appts since then. The first after the big x story was light- just chat about our storms and what not. Yesterday's was a bit heavier- dealing with safety issues around not-so-safe people in my life. So I guess now that it's all out, it's time to finally deal with it.

((((((((((((((((seventy-eight))))))))))))))))))

I agree with sawe, that sometimes there are more layers to the onion that we just haven't reached yet...

But I have also had those times of "hey, I'm done!" and of wondering what comes next. I think what's next for me is working through how all of those stories affect me now in my day to day life, in my relationships, and in how I see myself.

Maybe now would be a good time to step back and look at how far you've come. T and I have had sessions like that, and it feels really good.

You are doing good work, seventy-eight

[ladyjrnlist]

I'm at a similar point. I'm not sure where to go either, but I don't feel ready to quit. I guess it'll turn out whatever way it's meant to turn out.

[rainbow8]

I've risked a lot with my Ts, but at different levels of comfort and connection. Blurting something out hasn't always helped. 78, interesting that I just emailed my T something I want to work on that is really really; hard. I was thinking of starting another thread about it, even. Body stuff. Not being able to say anatomy words. I feel so connected with her now that I think I want to try with her.

I think everything can be said, but it doesn't mean it's worked on or worked through. There's a difference. Telling is important, but then exploring it can happen. So, you can be at a plateau in the telling everything, but still have more work to do.

Do you feel okay with telling her? I know sometimes I've felt ashamed right after telling something, but then I feel better later. Or sometimes it goes in reverse, and I need reassurance from my T. She says nothing is TMI in therapy. Sorry if I got off track, but I just emailed my T about the anatomy words.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I think everything can be said, but it doesn't mean it's worked on or worked through. There's a difference. Telling is important, but then exploring it can happen. So, you can be at a plateau in the telling everything, but still have more work to do.

Rainbow said exactly what I was thinking. Once you've told your T everything, then comes the point of working out what it all means and how it affects you.

I do think that sometimes, after a big revelation, it helps to take a step back, let it all settle in, maybe have a light session with T. Then, you can go back and say "okay, now what. I shared this really big thing, now what do we do with it."

[WikidPissah]

When you're climbing a mountain and you reach a plateau you stop, breathe and look. Sometimes there is more climbing to do and you need to break before climbing. If not, the trip down is always just as testy as the climb up, so you will have plenty more work.