Stressed over nothing - good session

So, I had a great session with my T today, and I wanted to share, but then I got stuck on what I actually wanted to say! So, I'm trying something new...just typing what comes to mind and not editing (that's really, really scary for me!).

We talked about my issue with sending emails/making posts, and how I feel like everything has to be perfect and then I worry about whether I'm bothering people with my posts/emails, and how I'm convinced no one wants to read what I write anyway. It was a good conversation...I know that the root of my concerns is my own opinion of my self worth and how I just don't feel like what I have to share is valuable. My T suggested that I practice with her...send her emails and don't edit the heck out of them...send her the third drat rather than the fifth, if I can't manage to send the first draft. She suggested that I set a time once I'm done typing, and once that timer goes off, I have to hit send, no more deliberating. She also suggested that I be mindful of the worry that I feel, and acknowledge it. Then, she gave me homework...I'm to actually email her when I feel the urge, rather than spending forever pondering if I should or not.

We touched on a few other things - some difficult topics for me that she has me talk about for just 5 or 10 minutes each session. We also talked about upcoming vacations...it's looking like I may have to go for three weeks without a session in June and I'm not looking forward to that. I'm going to see if we can arrange at least a phone conversation.

I was really perky today, in kind of a bouncy, playful mood, so my T and I spent quite a bit of time laughing and joking around during the session. I told her right off the bat that I didn't want to lose this perky mood, and so while we talked about some serious things, I think we were both trying to still keep things light enough for me to hold on to my mood.

Great to hear you had a good session, good luck with the homework.

Hey Rhiannon,

It sounds like a really positive session! I think it's great that your therapist wants you to email whenever you feel the need to, how do you feel about that?

I think its great that you have also wrote this post without thinking about it too much because what you say and want to say is just as important as anyone else

Your Therapist sounds great and sensitive to your needs and its really good she knows not to push too hard with the sensitve stuff and to let you take the time you need and deserve!

I can understand your fears around the possible 3 week break, I had that last year and no doubt will have it this year too during one of the summer months, I have been dreading it as I had a 2 week break that ended last saturday and it was really hard for me. I hope you can sort something out to make it easier. (((huge hugs)))

How is your mood now? Its good that you felt perky I like having sessions were my T and I can smile a lot as it makes me feel good to share a bit of happiness or positiveness with her too

xxxxxx

Honestly - confused!! I'm not used to just sharing whatever, whenever I feel like it. I told my T that I don't want to be an annoying person who just emails constantly. She said she really doesn't think I need to worry about that and she'll let me know if I do start doing that. I told my T that I would try and that's all I could promise.

She really is awesome. One of my issues is that with previous T's when I revealed certain things, I felt like they didn't want to help with it or that I wasn't really welcome to talk about it. So, I think part of it is that my T knows it's hard for me to talk about, so she had me talk in small amounts of time, and part of it is she keeps bringing it up to show she's willing to talk about it with me.

Thanks. My T suggested a phone check-in at some point while we're both out on vacation. So, we'll work that out as the time gets closer. My T is really good about working out options - phone, email, whatever.

Still perky - a little bored right now (stuck on conference calls for work). Ready for 5 pm to roll around so I can take a dog for a walk and fix some dinner. I'm feeling all inspired and motivated and stuff.

Hey hun,

you sounds really positive which is great, I am so pleased for you! Your previous therapist wasn't very good at their job if they weren't willing to help you talk through things.... I often wonder why some people choose the job they are in, esp in the health/care professions because sometimes all they do is hurt people by not being committed to their job. I am just happy you found a therapst who is able to help!

Don't worry too much about the email, there is no pressure, just email if you can and all you can do is try and that is good enough!

xxx

Glad things went well for you! It's nice when everything goes well for a change.

sounds like you really connected with t.... those things make for awesome sessions! I hope you will trust t enough to send that email without editing...

i have found when i write without editing, comes out real different then if would have edited it

sending safe hugs

glad things went well and that you felt so happy and playful and T helped you keep that mood through session!