[dizgirl2011]

I am trying to write down stuff that I want and need to say to my T on my next session on monday but it's really difficult as our last session was very upsetting, so everything I have to say almost has me in tears.

Part of me wants to say to her, I am sick of not feeling safe, never knowing when we are going to end and I'd rather you just tell me if your going to support me or not because I can't work like this. I feel angry at her and this scares me as I dont want my session to turn into an argument either. I am also scared because what if she says - ok I think we should end...because really that would kill me too...so I cant win....it sucks!

I will just have to tell her how I feel but even preparing for it is hard when im trying to not cry (hate people seeing me cry and im not home alone.)

How do you guys feel about preparing for a session? Do you prepare at all? If so how?

xxxx

[WikidPissah]

over the years there are many times when I prepared, and many times I just went unprepared. When I do prepare, it's usually writing, editing, rewriting for days. I like things clear and unemotional..(T unemotional...lol). Most times I prepared I didn't have the guts to pull the paper out of my purse, but here's hoping you are braver than I.

I am sick of not feeling safe, never knowing when we are going to end and I'd rather you just tell me if your going to support me or not because I can't work like this.

This is well said as is, maybe text or email it ahead of time?

[swimmergirl]

((((((((((((Diz)))))))))))))

I usually prepare for a session the day after the last session. I process it all, then write down and concerns or questions. I then put it away unless I have any particular insights during the week, then I will add those. The day of my session, about 2 hours before I will look at my notes again just so I know what I want to cover.
Sometimes I write it down word for word what to say. My T hates that but oh well, he can deal with it. i.e. When I had to tell my T about my feelings for him I had to read it to him because it was so scary.
There is no right or wrong. Maybe preparing for a session doesn't work for everyone. For me, I feel like I have a limited amount of time so I want to make it count. But that means different things for different people. No pressure. I agree with Wiki, some of what you wrote here to us may be what you need to talk about. For example, how do you not feel safe? how do you not feel supported? what do you mean when you say you can't work like this? You don't need to answer that, just some food for thought. I hope things get better. It seems like everyone is struggling lately on PC and it sucks big time.

[dizgirl2011]

Wiki - Thanks for your thoughts! I struggled for a long time (and still often do) with taking things out of my bag or maybe even just opening my journal. I really have to psyche myself up so that i can force myself to do it. I find reading out loud difficult and embarrassing too but I have done it and I know I need to do it on monday as I have so much to cover.

Swimmergirl- Thank you for your reply! The day of my session or a day or two later I usually write down everything I can remember from the actual session - what i said and T said so that i have a log of it in some way and so I can think about it and not forget it and like you if thoughts or events come up between sessions I maybe write something down about it, even just a few words. Then the day before I try to read over things and write out anything I want or need to; although sometimes I dont get time to do this. As I sit in my car waiting on my session time (as I am always early) I usually try to read over the notes again....and then walk into the session and forget the half of it lol (unless of course i am brave enough to take it out and read it).

I agree everyone is having a hard time lately which is really sad I'm glad we have each other!

[rainbow8]

I agree with Wiki that you should write out or tell your T exactly what you posted and she highlighted. That's what you want to know, and that's what you need to say! I would feel very scared and confused if I didn't know whether or when my therapy had to end. Ts usually want to give clients a lot of warning before they have to terminate therapy, or is that true only in the US? Having a sense of how much longer you have (though I still don't understand why that is not YOUR decision, not your Ts) would give you a way to gauge what is most important to work on.

I hope you can be honest with your T and say what is truly in your heart tomorrow.

[SoupDragon]

Good luck at your next session - I can so relate to what you have written. I have a dialogue playing in my head all week between sessions of what I am going to say etc.., however strangely it seems to get deleted as I walk into the room :-(

diz...I think you telling her flat out that you are sick of not feeling safe will be a very very good starting point for you're session. Often times, if I can't formulate the words to say exactly what I need to say to T, I will write it down and read it to her or just let her read it. That helps sometimes and my T says it gives her insight. I wish you luck with you're session....