I have not been able to respond to a lot of post today because of being so busy. I hope to get to more later. Right now, I'm asking for help and I hope you all don't think it's selfish.

I had a chance to talk with T on the phone yesterday which helped with some of my overwhelming feelings over the past few days. We talked for the usual 10 minutes and then quickly said goodbye. I don't feel like she cut me off, but the quick goodbye she gave made me feel " shoved away" slightly. She was nice on the phone though and was not cold but not as warm as usual. Perhaps I'm just letting my feelings get the best of me. She always allows calls though, so I didn't go against any boundary.

Un-related to that, normally I want to go to my appointments, but this week, I don't. I know the general consensus is that you should go when you feel you can't, but I'm just really exhausted over the past couple weeks with a lot of stuff going on. I just feel like I need a break from being in my head. I never had it come up where I contemplated not going. I know I need to go. I'm wondering if I should text my T and let her know that I'm struggling with coming tomorrow but that I'll be there. Perhaps declaring it to her will push me to make sure I get there. Thoughts? She normally does not mind text or phone calls but I never texted her something like that. Normally only text about appointments and stuff. She never said what's okay to text and what's not. She is always caring and gental.

Thanks for reading this...

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by TryinToGetBy

I have not been able to respond to a lot of post today because of being so busy. I hope to get to more later. Right now, I'm asking for help and I hope you all don't think it's selfish. No you aren't selfish at all, you have been quite supportive and it's ok to ask for help when you need it!

I had a chance to talk with T on the phone yesterday which helped with some of my overwhelming feelings over the past few days. We talked for the usual 10 minutes and then quickly said goodbye. I don't feel like she cut me off, but the quick goodbye she gave made me feel " shoved away" slightly. She was nice on the phone though and was not cold but not as warm as usual. Perhaps I'm just letting my feelings get the best of me. She always allows calls though, so I didn't go against any boundary. It could just be your perception and not really the reality as it was for her......maybe she had something to do in a hurry but didn't mean to make you feel as if she was pushing YOU away. You got 10 minutes, that is pretty good .......when T calls me back, I get about 3-5 minutes!

Un-related to that, normally I want to go to my appointments, but this week, I don't. I know the general consensus is that you should go when you feel you can't, but I'm just really exhausted over the past couple weeks with a lot of stuff going on. I just feel like I need a break from being in my head. I never had it come up where I contemplated not going. I know I need to go. I'm wondering if I should text my T and let her know that I'm struggling with coming tomorrow but that I'll be there. Perhaps declaring it to her will push me to make sure I get there. Thoughts? She normally does not mind text or phone calls but I never texted her something like that. Normally only text about appointments and stuff. She never said what's okay to text and what's not. She is always caring and gental.
you could text her, I see nothing amiss in doing that......
Thanks for reading this...

you can go and ask for a lighter session, you have the right to do that. maybe ask for practical help. sometimes I do that, instead getting into heavy stuff, I ask for help with knowing what to do with a situation with my kids or something, or we talk about an issue that is important but not as intense. My T likes to pace it like that, so I don't feel wearied and burnt out by too many intense sessions in a row....
You have the right to tell T how you are feeling!

Thanks For in input Poet, it puts things in perspective for me. :-)

[rainbow8]

I hope you go to your appointment whether you text your T or not. Maybe you can ask her to clarify emails/text/phone rules if you aren't sure what she will allow.

You're not being selfish at all, here on PC. I appreciate your responding in my threads very much!

If you have a lot of stuff going on in your life, that's a good time to see your T. Like poetgirl said, sessions don't always have to be heavy, or about certain issues as opposed to other more practical issues, or just for some stress-relieving techniques, maybe.

I hope you go and have a productive session.

[dizgirl2011]

Hey,

I don't think anyone is selfish on here when they ask for help, no matter how much they do or don't reply to others messages. I think everyone does their best to help when they feel able to and we all understand there are times when we don't feel able to give advice, or have the enegry to reply.

I always find my T is different on the phone than in real life, I find her quite cold in other forums of contact appart from in person. What I am saying is that often when we aren't in face to face contact with our T we can make assumptions about the way they say or do things and add meanings when there isnt any. If you feel comfortable talking openly with yoru T you could say how you felt with the phone call?

I think it's natural to feel anxious about going to sessions every so often, even more so if we expect to be facing an issue or talking about something we don't really feel comfortable with. I think it sounds like you know you will go to your session and I hope you do. If you feel texting your T will help you go then I don't think there is any harm in it.

we are here for you

(((((((tryin))))))))

I think poetgirl had a really good idea about going in and asking for a lighter session.

I have always gone to T, even when I don't feel up to doing really hard work, because I've always needed to see him pretty often to keep the "connected" feeling...and without the "connected" feeling, I can't do the hard work!

Sometimes, we'll just talk about therapy in general, or about my day to day life, or other not-so-hard things. I actually keep an Uno deck there and we'll play that very occasionally, or color together or whatever...so I can have the experience of being together and connected, without being overwhelmed.

Your T sounds very caring and responsive...I bet if you tell her what you need, she'll follow your lead.

Thank you everyone. You all provide great insight and amazing support. Its now after 9pm where I am. I didn't text my T and wont at this point, nonetheless I am going to get myself in the mind frame to go. I'm pretty sure if I don't go, I'll regret it later. My appt is 12 noon. I have tonight and tomorrow morning to prepare.

Thank you all for making me feel so welcomed here. I am glad I found PC. (((((hugs))))

[itsmeshorti]

Do not feel selfish we are all here for support. To give and recieve it. I enjoy being able to help someone else I learned.

What I learned from my sesion today was you have to tell your T. I think we all hope they can read our mind. They do not know what we want or need unless we tell them. My T told me today that we are 2 people working together and learning eachother. I have to remember therapists are people too.

When you walk in that office the first thing you should say is I would like to have a light session, the last few weeks have been rough and I need a feel good day. You are entitled to that. Just flat out say it. If you cannot say it then print out your post and give it to T. Maybe you could ask about your progress. It's always nice to be reminded we are making progress when dealing with alot of stuff.

Good luck tomorrow. (((((youaregettingby))))

Thanks so much Shorti, I will keep all this in mind when I go tomorrow. ((((hugs))))

[*doodles*]

I don't have much to add, I agree with everyone else. Go and just tell T how you feel! Sometimes its good to have "easier" sessions and just chat about life and whatnot. Plus it builds the trust to talk more later. And I'm glad you found PC, too. I'm new as well and have grown to love it too