Partial

I'm seriously thinking about leaving the partial program I am in. Why? It's a joke. There are 3 groups a day...one is group therapy, another is education group, and the last one is activity group. The bad part about it is if you start crying in group you are asked to leave...and you're not supposed to bring up anything that would trigger anyone else. Talk about a joke. I am one big trigger so I can't say a darn thing!

Me and another guy, Vic, are gonna start talking about issues we can relate to, like sexual abuse, even if we get in a lot of trouble because it's a serious issue for us.

I got more therapy when I was in individual therapy twice a month! And I go twice a week! This is just crazy! I need therapy...I don't need 3 babysitters!

That sounds like it's no help at all! Hope you find something better.

Hi Lex...

This hits close to home for me. I've been in three different partial programs since I was first hospitalized. It is amazing how different they can be. The one I was in last year sounds very similar to the one you are in now. Time spent each day in music therapy or art therapy and one day we just played a board game. I don't know if there was a rule against crying because it never came up... I think the group sessions were so large and impersonal that no one ever opened up enough to even get near crying. Groups structured way to rigidly. The only thing good about it was that it got me out of the house every day.

But the one I just came out of was incredibly different. Much better therapy. A lot more time with the doctor and personal T. Lots of one hour groups each day, but timing was flexible, groups on cognative therapy, problem solving, life skills, at least one hour with no format each day, and some health education each day. It didn't hurt that the group leaders were all very knowledgable and very good with us. The schedule was different every day so that if you came on a different schedule you still got a good mix of everything they had to offer. The groups felt very close-knit even though people came and went (new members joined, some graduated) each day. And most notible, which seems to be the worst thing lacking in the program you are now, is understanding that the whole point of the group is to help each other as a means to self healing. Not that they encouraged people to trigger others of course but an important part of sessions was helping others when they were triggered and thereby learning to cope in triggering situations with the help of the group and the therapist.

I don't want to say "yes you should leave your partial" but I do think you are right to be thinking about it, exploring other possibilities with Vic, or finding another alternative.

Maybe you can check with your insurance or something and see if there is another program in your area that you could try. I hope you can find something more suitable and more successful for you. Good luck.

I'm curious...did the therapist explain the reason behind the "no crying" rule?

No, I haven't heard anything about it. I just heard from somebody else there that this one time someone started crying and she said they kicked her out of the room....

I am seriously considering going to a program called Passages, which focuses on sexual abuse, which is a very big issue with me, probably my main issue.

Hi Lexi. Sounds like this program needs a tune-up. Not very supportive..and that's what you need support. You can't cry?? Phew!!

TGC

Lex that's nuts..I never heard of a T trying to inhibit feelings and expressing them..I think I would be out of there

Specifically with regard to crying... in the partial program I just "graduated" from, there was one person who would cry uncontrollably at the mention of one particular topic. Something that comes up rather regularly in fact, and it seemed it only took one "key" word from any of the group members, in any context (a happy story or a sad one) that would trigger that person. In the beginning she would get up and leave on her own because she couldn't control her emotions or behavior. (She was never kicked out).

By the end of the 4 week program, she was able to sit calmly when the topic came up and even join in the conversation. She came not only to understand but to feel that she was allowed to have those emotions, to feel them, to grieve in her own way and at her own speed. Through this period, if whenever this came up, the facilitator of that particular group would give her time to speak, but still allow time for the original speaker to complete their thought. If she didn't speak, the facilitator would comment on how much improvement she had... that she was able to cry but not leave the room... was able to cry but for a shorter time and still able to interact with the group, etc. (Understand, the goal was not to keep her from crying but rather to help her get to a point where she wouldn't become non-functional at the mention of this word). And the facilitator would elicit comments from the rest of the group as to their observations on the changes they have seen. This was really a common event in the sessions, asking the group what changes they could see in other as the groups progressed... isn't that part of what group therapy is about? It helps the person see that they have made tangible progress AND gives the other group members the sense of hope that the group can make a change for the better.

It is a tricky balancing act so as not to allow the focus to always be put on one person, but all the facilitators there seemed very well trained to do so... by not allowing people to interupt but also remembering to come back to the interuptor for their thoughts when the first person finished... to always get the group involved with their thoughts, opinions and suggestions, etc.

I don't do group therapy .. wouldn't work for me in this shape.. .but I used to go to the local MS support group... when the facilitator of the group was about to move and he replaced himself with one of the other MS patient's wives... ugh I couldn't go anymore. She always had the last word no matter who spoke, and often interrupted us... the attention was all on her. I have since seen where the local group has merged with a group farther away so I can't go if I wanted to.. groups are tough, imo and have a life of their own! They have their own "culture" and protocol that doesn't always suit the needs of the attendees... sigh TC

Very much sky. I went to three of four peer-to-peer support groups before finding one that I liked. There is the "official policy" of the group (i.e. what people are allowed to talk about, general guidelines, etc.) the personality of the facilitator (the group I like rotates facilators each week... the facilitators are group members who have volunteered and taken some special training in order to lead the group) and then of course the personality and "dynamic" of the group itself.

Also the size of the group. One that I went to was just too small... only 3 or 4 or 5 regular people, not enough variety of discussion from week to week. For someone else though, such a small group might be just the right thing...

One group I was in they did limit the crying as in if someone needed or started crying that person was to leave the room and one of the facilitators would help them in a more private setting. The reason for that rule was because someone in the group was using crying for attention from the whole group and nothing else could get done. No matter what the topic was this woman would go into her crying routine and then for an hour the whole group was at a standstill of watching a few try to calm this person and give her suggestions. once the rule of taking the crying outside the room began this woman never had a "crying" session again. from the get go she was in control of herself and able to participate without keeping the group stuck. Some people do thrive on creating chaos in groups and rules like taking the high emotions outside the room for individual help solves those type situations. I run a support group for women survivors of child sexual abuse and I do have this rule in place but have never in 4 years had to kick anyone out of the room. Crying is allowed to a certain extent in my group but repeated keep the group captive is not. I make this clear first thing by meeting the women on my own a few times before letting them into the group so that we can go over the basics and develop an emergency list for that person so that they do have contacts for when those high emotions hit that this type of group sometimes gives.