[SingDanceRunLife]

I feel like I go back and forth with my T...either our sessions are really productive and good, or not very productive at all...

For example, last week was a really good, productive session, and this week we spent the first half more chit chatting than really focusing on problems. I mean, the chit chatting was about stuff like my disdain toward my grandmother and issues in high school...but it wasn't about the pertinent problems. After that we touched on some of the pertinent stuff...like my hatred of my new job, my downward spiral into depression...actually, we spent a fair amount of time on that...she actually told me that she was worried about it because I seemed a lot more depressed than last week, and because I told her how I didn't shower over the weekend, and how a daily shower has left my routine (and that's a big deal because I'm a huge shower/hygiene person) and how my eating has gone all wonky etc. I told her that I just have no motivation, and I just don't care, and it doesn't help that I hate my meds/don't think they're working all that well...

Does anyone else feel like this?

Sometimes I feel like T is so good, and sometimes it just seems like a complete waste of time...but I know that I need it...my life without T wouldn't look half as good as it does with it. I just wish I knew how to make my sessions more in depth and better balanced. It's not that I don't like the chatting at the beginning, but there's a point when it's not appropriate because there are other things to get to...ya know?

I hope I'm not just rambling...it's been a rough day (week, month, and year, actually)...and I'm tired and ready for bed.

[*doodles*]

No, this makes complete sense! I actually read it and was thinking "Yes! Exactly!" I feel the exact same way. Some sessions are really productive and then some I leave feeling like it was completely pointless. It's pretty frustrating. I've found it has helped to email T before session to tell her what I want to talk about/what we need to talk about(not assertive enough to just tell her when I get there), but sometimes I just don't know what I want to talk about. Idk, this is rambling now, but I totally understand, and its really frustrating after those non productive sessions.

[elliemay]

I'm not sure that there are any pointless sessions in therapy - well unless no one says anything.

I mean not every session has to deal with the big issues. Sometimes the smaller ones can produce some insights or just help reinforce the connection you have with your therapist.

Also, the more information that a therapist has about you, then typically the better they are at helping you. I tend to view those sessions as "fact finding" rather than "problem solving".

However, you are still paying for them and if that's not your thing, then perhaps you could reduce the number of sessions.

[SingDanceRunLife]

doodle - I'm glad someone understands what I'm getting at

elliemay - I can kind of see what you're saying, but at the same time, I think spending time talking about how cute my little siblings are is rather pointless (and yes, that is an actual example, and there's only so much you can say about that). It's also not that I dislike T or want to go less often...I like it, and feel like I need it, it's just sessions like that frustrate me.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by SingDanceRunLife

I mean, the chit chatting was about stuff like my disdain toward my grandmother and issues in high school...but it wasn't about the pertinent problems. After that we touched on some of the pertinent stuff...like my hatred of my new job, my downward spiral into depression

It's all related. Think of it as a "path" into the woods and you have to get from the door of your T's office at the beginning of the session to the "heart" of a matter. Everything is related to everything else so even your disdain toward your grandmother, that is part of your depression now, not having a resource/person in your life that it would have been nice to have? I still remember when my grandmother was the only person who "noticed" when I was having a hard time in college back in 1971; I still remember the tiny conversation she and I had in a hallway of my parent's home, how it possibly saved my life (I was flunking out of college/life) and helped me continue on.

Yeah, sometimes we're walking along the path and don't realize that what we are seeing/doing is very important, or could be important in the future. At 60 years old I have a lot of experiences I can point to that were important but which I didn't realize were at first. In high school I didn't study, do my homework, just drifted on and 15-30 years later it bit me when I couldn't learn computer programming well, despite natural aptitude, because I didn't have good math knowledge/skills. If only. . .

[SingDanceRunLife]

I guess. I think a lot of it might be my impatience. I just want to get things out there, talk about them and be better. I know it doesn't work that way, but oh how I wish it did!