Letters to my Therapist

I’ve been reading recent threads about emails between client and therapist and how it affects us – plus my own experience this past week and it's got me thinking ... and finally I came up with an idea that I think will work for me.

I have a therapy journal … where I write note or lists relating to past session or ideas for futures sessions.

We all know that time between sessions can be challenging and I often feel I want to talk to my therapist during that time but getting an immediate response isn’t always needed, at least for me.

So I’ve started writing ‘Letters to My therapist’, where I talk to her - tell her what I am thinking, what I feeling, ask questions and so forth. Not all the letters will be shared with her ‘cause this exercise is just for me – to get these thoughts out of my head so they don’t drive me crazy. But some of it I will share – to give her an idea where I’m at emotionally, to share a response to something said in a previous session, or to get questions answered. My therapist isn’t big on using email as a therapeutic tool, so I think this might work.

So, to make a long story longer, - the reason I am posting this is to say thank YOU for the inspiration.

Great idea!

This is a great idea. I tend to do this myself, I usually type up a message on my computer, as if I am going to email it to my T, telling her how I feel, letting out the feelings etc but then I just save it to my computer and don't send it. I usually go back to it a few times over the following day or two and add things, delete other parts and save it again. It's only if I still feel the real need to share it with T after this that I do, but usually the release I have gotten from writting it all out is enough.

It's a great idea and I hope it helps you a lot!

I think it's a great idea too. I do this a lot along with emailing T, and I take notes etc along to my sessions. I find it helps me to get my thoughts out, and it helps him to understand me better. Hope it helps you

yes, a great idea!

Emails between therapist and client? I don't think I have ever done that. HA! you know I have. That is the only way that can survive between sessions. It also gives me things to read back over.

Thank God my therapist is great about email. It took me a LONG time to do that with her. I still remember the first time I sent her a (long) email. She said, "Now I can see where you are. You are a writer. I think we can get down to some work now. Keep the emails coming. Good job!"

I started this when our therapy had come to a stagnant state (back in October). I just could not get to a place in our sessions that I really shared much of anything with her. I sure was not showing any emotions or feelings. Once I started writing/emailing, the dam broke and out poured all this stuff! I shocked myself!

I am so lucky that she is willing to work with me this way. Being that I write my feelings out (as you can see from some things I have posted), it has helped both of us tremendously.

I also use music when I need to. She is great with that, too. She once said that the change was nice. Meaning that she never knows what I will do! I may sit in the floor, bring music, bring typed notes, journaling, pillows, blankets, pictures, etc....I never know what it will be until almost the day of my session.

I think it's an idea that my T would like me to use too, but I find it hard to email her and not send it. It's like I can't help but hit the "send" button without even proofing what I've written because I want my T to know what my feelings are, especially right after a session. I tried emailing and not sending once and it was very hard.

I may go back to journaling more because then there is no way to hit the "send" button!

I'm glad this is helping you. It is something I have done for awhile too and as I may get an insight or something I want to share, but maybe won't be seeing T for awhile, it helps me keep track of everything. There is also something extremely therapeutic for me to write it down and see it in print. It's like I'm having a conversation with myself and I can change it to fit exactly what I was thinking.

What works for me is pen and paper. I much rather write me thoughts out by hand than on the computer. I have a separate 'regular' journal as well. Writing letters to my therapist frees up a lot of space in my mind.

I feel like it's a one-sided conversation with her. I have this need to talk to her between sessions and this keeps me from 'annoying' her and stressing over email. (I put 'annoy' in quotes 'cause I'm the one who's annoyed by it.) My other journal is more like what you describe as 'a conversation with myself'.

I have a email address to help me unleash the fury between sessions which has been great for me esp immediately after a session. I type furiously, hit send then its gone

I've never felt comfortable bombarding my pdoc with anything outside our time because I'm sure she gets enough of that from her other patients and she has a life outside of work too which I need to consider.

Great idea, especially since I start my first session tomorrow. I can start now. I have so many questions I want answered and help with. I sort of have been doing this since I have been to the point of having to learn, accept and change my behaviour that my illness does not help. A journal for myself to be able to write non stop of my daily life, a calendar where I jot things down to remember to log into right place, and I made a Daily mood chart/notes to keep the same info daily so it shows triggers, sleep, and stuff. I got obessive with this since last year and have way too many. Now I can start on this one. Thanks

Ohh! I forgot one more. I started writting letters/notes to my husband when I feel he don't understand my reactions, thoughts, behaviour and everything else. This has helped for him to see my side of what I feel, or think, act and need from him. Now when we start to argue I think about it and just drop whatever we are arguing over till I can write him the letter. Just want to share.

Thanks everyone for the comments! I've been doing this for the last few days and I believe it's working. I started making lists for next sessions a couple of months ago, and that's all well and good, but I'm discovering that writing letters specifically to her seems to quiet my mind quite a bit. It's not the same journaling (to me).

While all of what I writing in the letters seems important to talk about w/my therapist, I'm starting to see that it's more important to just get it all out. Maybe I'll be brave and choose a letter to share with her at session.

You're welcome, mokie!