[Lauru]

I have been dealing with something huge in T and group T. My sister has been off and on with the father of her baby. She has two older boys from a previous relationship. She has let the father of her baby abuse her and all 3 of the boys. I found out about it last night. He actually hit them and left marks!!!

I am furious. No one else in my family wants to deal with this, just like when I was abused as a kid. I am standing up for the boys. I will NOT let them be hurt anymore. If he comes back I am going to call CPS. Which is huge because no one in my family will want to talk to me after I do that. But I don't care, I love those boys and will protect them with my dying breath.

Today I talked about it in group T and I got a lot of support from group T and everyone that goes there. It felt good to know that there are other people out there that understand what I will do and am doing. I also talked about it with my one on one T. She is behind me a 100%. She told me if it gets down to it, and I need her to, she will make the call for me. But that she thinks I am strong enough to make the call on my own.

So I am working on getting my sister some therapy and my T is helping with that too. She is giving me referrals for my sis. I feel good and strong, scared, sad, and weak all at once. It is something else I have to talk about on Tues when I see T again. I am feeling for my T

[Lauru]

Ok, so either I am really boring or hugely triggering because no one even replied with a single word. Either way, I guess I just don't matter, like I don't everywhere else. Sorry, I am just feeling hugely triggered right now with this. It is something very hard for me and important to me. I guess it is just me.

[jazzy123456]

You matter. And you shouldnt let something like PC be the deciding factor of whether or not you matter... You matter...whether there is one reply or 5, or thirty ... you matter... Surely, I know others will post right after me saying the same thing, so I will keep that brief... P.S. I know what it feels like to be triggered in regards to this... so..acknowledge that that is a feeling but, feelings aren't always necessarily true... its human to feel these things but, just know..you are important.

next, from PC to you... congratulations on opening up in group and with your T about such a difficult circumstance. that is very brave and strong of you to choose to protect those boys, even if that means facing some discomfort with your family!
damn right, those boys dont deserve abuse, many of us here know what that feels like and you are only doing the right, noble thing by discussing/making the decision you made.

And you mentioned you feel scared, sad, and weak all at once... I just want to remind you that sometimes being brave is not about getting rid of all those feelings, feelings like sadness, grief, weakness, ... A lot of brave people are people who feel those things and just do what they have to do anyway. ...

its not allowing those feelings control you to the point of giving up that makes you special... I hope/know everything works out... Sending you Blessings and Encouragement, .... JAZZY

[granite1]

you matter a lot lauru..i just dont always have the right thing to say to help but i want to let you know you do matter and to give you hugs and i hope your sister gets the help and strength she needs to seperste herself from this guy for herself and her children

Originally Posted by Lauru

So I am working on getting my sister some therapy and my T is helping with that too. She is giving me referrals for my sis. I feel good and strong, scared, sad, and weak all at once. It is something else I have to talk about on Tues when I see T again. I am feeling for my T

You are giving those boys an amazing and wonderful and important gift. It's so brave of you to see what's happening and to step up and to take action. SO brave.

I love where you describe you how feel...good and strong and scared and sad and weak. I think when we can check in with ourselves and really feel all of those conflicting feelings at once, we know we are in an authentic, important, and "right" place.

You are not unimportant...far from it. You are changing the lives of those boys, and the ripple effect will likely be positive and far and wide, even if it's bumpy and scary at first.
to you

[lastyearisblank]

First of Lauru I am glad you said you were feeling ignored so people could respond to that. And I think it is a really great thing what you are doing for your nephews. They are lucky to have someone care about them enough to put them first. I'm not surprised you're feeling scared and weak because it's a lot to deal with at once and technically it's someone else's family.. I mean you know what I mean. But I don't think anyone here will say you're doing the wrong thing. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for what's right! Sending hugs!!!!

[Lauru]

Thanks all. I am sorry I was so maudlin on you all. I just feel really weird right now. The only thing keeping me together is the boys. I will never let harm come to them. No matter what.

[googley]

Lauru,
I'm sorry I wasn't able to respond earlier to your thread.

I think it is amazing your are standing up for your nephews. Everyone deserves to have such a wonderful aunt like you. I'm glad you are getting support from T and group T. I'm glad your sister reached out and told you what was going on. That is a big step on her part. Maybe because she knew that you would help her get the help she needs for her and her kids.

You are so strong to get through this.

Originally Posted by Lauru

I will never let harm come to them. No matter what.

I wish I had a Lauru in my life when I was a child. You are amazing.