[Can't Stop Crying]

I know T came on here and read my posts...he talked in Friday's session about things I posted from the previous weeks session, before I had an opportunity to bring them up. He knows I come here and he knows my user name. I feel completely violated! I don't even know how to bring it up to him...this is my between therapy zone, sometimes things are resolved before we meet again. Am I overreacting by feeling so invaded? How on earth do I approach this with him?

SO worried and confused.....

[Flooded]

I'm not sure how I'd approach this to be honest, but I would be very upset at the gross invasion of privacy!

[PTSDlovemycats]

Wow. That is one of my biggest fears on here. (((((((CSC)))))) A boundary has been crossed by your T in my opinion.

[peridot28]

I'm so sorry you're feeling violated, CSC. If he is reading your posts and sees this one I wonder if he'll bring it up. I would definitely ask him about it, because if he is secretly reading your posts and then talking about what you've disclosed here and not being open with you about reading your posts, then you have every right to feel violated. I'm sorry, again.

[Can't Stop Crying]

maybe I should be passive aggressive and leave a message on here...T if you're reading this, it is making me feel violated! And I don't WANT to talk about WHY I feel like this....

[PTSDlovemycats]

How does he know your name on here? Did you tell him it before? Such a violation.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Originally Posted by PTSDlovemycats

How does he know your name on here? Did you tell him it before? Such a violation.

I've shared things with him that I posted on here before, but I guess it's different if it is something I choose to share vs feeling like he is spying on me. I guess I trusted him, so I didn't think printing posts directly with my username was a big deal....

thinking of asking mods to delete the one thread he for sure knows about....

I consciously respect all T's boundaries and focus very much on being the "good client". I never specifically told him NOT to come on here, guess I thought it was implied....

It feels so wrong!

This is a public forum so I suppose T could read it if he thought there was a reason? A concern of safety or something. I remember talking about this before in a similar thread. http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=179233 Is it ethical for T's to read what a client posts online.

Again, I don't know T's that specifically go hunting online to read about their client. They have a lot more free time than I do, then. Unless, it was a safety concern. Perhaps what was shared made him wonder about the nature of the forums, the content, etc, and he did go looking...

As always, anything online is public. Just as talked about in the "photos of T" thread. it's something to talk about.

[PTSDlovemycats]

I'm starting to worry that my T will find me on here now since I said word for word what she text to me...

[dizgirl2011]

Hey there,

I can fully understand why you feel violated in many respects as you hope that what you write here is private and helps you cope between sessions and in many respects we use it to talk about issues with our T that we don't nesscarily want to talk to them about.

What did your T say about what he read?

The thing is, this is a bit like people googling their therapist and getting information and pictures of them online, as in that respect the T might feel violated in some way.
I think many of us share the fear that our T will read what we right here but there is no guarantee for any of us that our privacy won't be invaded when we put something on a public forum. It's not as though people need to have our password to read what we say, its there for anyone to read.

What I wonder is why he felt the need to? Was it just curiosity or was he concerned about something?

*huge hugs*

it might be an idea to change your username and picture? Maybe even state She instead of he when writting a post to try and protect your anonymity.

xxx

I can understand feeling violated, but this is the forum where I so often see "if it's on the internet, it's free for the taking" when it comes to googling "private" information about a therapist. Kind of a double standard if you ask me.

Talk to your T about it and set up a clear boundary between you as far as the internet goes.

[granite1]

i would feel my personal space was very violated.but maybe you can just bring it up to him and let him know you felt like this.i would feel like he read my journal .i know i write things here i'm so not ready to share and talk to my T about.i think maybe most of us do.i'm sorry your T did this to you and i hope you are able to deal with him over it.

[mixedup_emotions]

I can understand feeling violated, and I don't agree with the posts saying that 'anything goes' on the internet. To protect our anonymity, we choose usernames and avatars instead of real names and our pictures.

Your T may not be aware that you feel this way, so it's important that you share this with him and ask him to respect this as a boundary that you set.

[skysblue]

I know my T would never look for me here. I think our therapists should only receive from us what we feel comfortable giving to them. My T has always emphasized that I should never feel any pressure to share what I'm not ready to share with her.

Maybe what your T did does not cross 'ethical' lines, but what he did was a definite boundary crossing. It was wrong. If he did it by your invitation, that would have been fine.

You have a right to feel violated because you were.

[Chronic]

I can understand why you feel violated because its an invasion of your privacy but I dont understand why you told T your username? Surely that's giving him enough information to find out what you are saying on here? I wouldnt expect T to come searching for information on me, but if I told him the website and my username, I wouldnt blame him for having a look. Although I WOULD expect him to then tell me that he had looked at my posts, and I would then address with him how I felt violated etc.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Originally Posted by stormyangels

This is a public forum so I suppose T could read it if he thought there was a reason? A concern of safety or something. I remember talking about this before in a similar thread. http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=179233 Is it ethical for T's to read what a client posts online.

Again, I don't know T's that specifically go hunting online to read about their client. They have a lot more free time than I do, then. Unless, it was a safety concern. Perhaps what was shared made him wonder about the nature of the forums, the content, etc, and he did go looking...

As always, anything online is public. Just as talked about in the "photos of T" thread. it's something to talk about.

There was nothing we talked about that would cause him concern. My safety was not in jeopardy.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

I can understand feeling violated, but this is the forum where I so often see "if it's on the internet, it's free for the taking" when it comes to googling "private" information about a therapist. Kind of a double standard if you ask me.

Talk to your T about it and set up a clear boundary between you as far as the internet goes.

The only time I googled my T was before I started therapy with him years ago. Similar to the way I would google a new doctor, a new dentist, a new vet, etc. It was not to pry into his life, it was to be a good consumer and I told him about that at my first session.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Originally Posted by Chronic

I can understand why you feel violated because its an invasion of your privacy but I dont understand why you told T your username? Surely that's giving him enough information to find out what you are saying on here? I wouldnt expect T to come searching for information on me, but if I told him the website and my username, I wouldnt blame him for having a look. Although I WOULD expect him to then tell me that he had looked at my posts, and I would then address with him how I felt violated etc.

I TRUSTED him, so I didn't think printing pages directly from here was a big deal. Like I said earlier - it's the difference between me sharing things with him and feeling like I'm being "spied" on.

I don't think ETHICALLY that he did do anything wrong, but I definitely feel like he invaded my privacy by coming here without discussing it first.

[Can't Stop Crying]

I appreciate all the replies - I guess I need to decide whether or not it's worth addressing with him. I had the mods delete the one thread that I know he is aware of. I guess in my mind the damage is done so what's the point in bringing it up. It took me years to trust him and I feel like it's gone. Hopefully, this feeling will pass.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying

I appreciate all the replies - I guess I need to decide whether or not it's worth addressing with him. I had the mods delete the one thread that I know he is aware of. I guess in my mind the damage is done so what's the point in bringing it up. It took me years to trust him and I feel like it's gone. Hopefully, this feeling will pass.

Damage done but the issue is not done. How will you trust him in the future? Can you really forget this? I've tried suppression too but I know it doesn't work. I believe that it's really important to talk about this with your T. It's not going away just by ignoring it.

[Can't Stop Crying]

One more thing - the sad thing is that I had printed off some of the things from here that I was still struggling with to talk about. He brought them up before I even had a chance. I am not trying to hide things from him. I want the things to come from me - not from him reading them before hand.
I am not the type to bring up things like that - it's just not me. I don't even know what to say.....

[Can't Stop Crying]

Originally Posted by skysblue

Damage done but the issue is not done. How will you trust him in the future? Can you really forget this? I've tried suppression too but I know it doesn't work. I believe that it's really important to talk about this with your T. It's not going away just by ignoring it.

I guess I'm just feeling really raw right now, still trying to understand his motives. I guess I'll figure out what to do when the time is right.

[Flooded]

Is there any chance he brought these things up because he knows you're struggling? Thought he was making it easier for you?

[Sannah]

You don't know if he read your threads here unless you ask him. There might be another explanation about how he brought up that info like, you mentioned it before but forgot, he has other clients who struggle with the same issues, he struggled with the same issues, he is just perceptive and one issue followed from another.

You don't know for sure unless you ask him. Give him a chance before you try and convict him and make yourself all upset in the process.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Originally Posted by Sannah

You don't know if he read your threads here unless you ask him. There might be another explanation about how he brought up that info like, you mentioned it before but forgot, he has other clients who struggle with the same issues, he struggled with the same issues, he is just perceptive and one issue followed from another.

You don't know for sure unless you ask him. Give him a chance before you try and convict him and make yourself all upset in the process.

He quoted things almost verbatim. The things were posted between sessions about what I was processing from the first session and new insights - so I know it wasn't something I had brought up before. I don't think I'm convicting him. It is what it is. I am his only trauma client - we've talked about that before, so other clients with the same issues doesn't sound plausible.

He has told me in the past that he lurks on other websites, it's not a far reach to imagine he lurked on this one as well.

Like I said a couple times - I don't know what I think - I know I FEEL violated.

T's have all kinds of boundaries and I respect his. I guess I thought it went both ways...