Scared out of my mind.

So I have less than 5 hours until my first appointment with a psychologist and I am scared out of my mind. I'm more scared now than I was for my first appointment with my pdoc.

I emailed the T I am seeing yesterday saying I was nervous and she replied back not to worry and told me what I could expect, but I am still really jittery right now. I'm just afraid that I will say something that will shock her and make her think negatively of me. Or that when she finds out I have a pdoc and am taking medication she will think I am crazy beyond what she can help me with.

I know that there is problably nothing I could say that would shock her, but I still can't help worrying that I might. I hate my fears and worries sometimes. I know they are irrational, but they are so real I can't help accepting them.

It's only 10:20 here and my appointment isn't until 3:00. Argh! It's going to be a long day being nervous until this afternoon.

Just keep reminding yourself that your T is there soley to help you. Their whole job is to be your support and your way to a happier, healthier you. I totally get how scary it is, but now you have someone who will help with all the ick!

Thanks for the reply. I know that T is there to help me, but it's hard to convince myself of that without knowing her yet.

2 hours until I have to leave. Now the butterflies are starting to fly around in my stomach.

Don't worry Squirrel (easier said than done, I know!) It is her job to listen and help people!

Instead of thinking that you already see a pdoc and are on meds as "crazy beyond what she can help you with" she's likely to see it as you being proactive and working toward getting a better handle on your life

She's going to want to know a bit of your family history (anyone else in the family have depression/anxiety, etc) as well as any prior history you have with this stuff. She'll probably be pleased to know you are seeking out additional support through a pdoc, meds, and now are adding talk therapy into the mix. She will want to know what brought you to therapy and what you hope to get from working together.

Elli-Beth is totally spot on when she says their whole job is to be your support. My T described it to me recently as "walking together on my journey" A good T is there to support you, no matter what you bring into the room. A good T is there to celebrate your successes, no matter how little they are (and my T celebrates everything with me, as I don't even know what is worth celebrating sometimes) and they are there to help you navigate the rougher, scarier times.

Today, she will likely do a lot of talking in the form of questions. You are going to be nervous. If it helps you to have a fidget, bring it. I like to wear my bangle bracelets when I'm going somewhere nervewracking as I can slip one off and play with it to keep my hands busy. Six months into therapy, I still tend to slip my bracelet off and play with it while I talk, it comforts me.

She has probably seen it all, heard it all, and helped people through it all. I don't think you can bring anything to her that she hasn't heard, and if it is something she hasn't heard, I doubt she'll be shocked and judgmental. The therapy space is the one place in the whole world where I don't feel judged. Maybe that's why I like it so much!

Hang in there, you can do it!

Godd luck today!!

(((squirrel))) Hope your appt is going well!
Keep us posted!

Just got home from my appointment. It went well. By the time I was comfotable talking to her, the appoitment was over though. She's on vacation next week, so no appoitments (she only works Mon & Tues). Next appoitment is the 11th. Hopefully I'll still be comfortable talking with her.