I've been really feeling confident about where I am at .... anxiety is less(just realized that my nails are getting long and I didn't even try to stop biting them), need to control everything is less, expressing feelings more, letting walls down and letting people in...

Since money is very tight and I'm paying for therapy out of pocket, I decided to discuss with T. the process of stopping therapy.

Why is it when I have a whole conversation figured out in my head, the other person doesn't follow the script? I knew it would be difficult because I don't like conflict or telling people something that they are not going to like. I just didn't expect that the T. would be so questioning...

First, he said most people who want to stop say its money but that it usually isn't the real reason....I said that I felt ready to just live my life with all the new things I learned...he said he hated to see me stop....asked if I would do group therapy...

Now I'm obsessing about why he thinks I should not stop. It has totally undermined my confidence as to how well I'm doing. Makes me think that he sees more things I need to work on that I don't realize yet. Should I ask him why he doesn't want me to stop? Should I ask him if there are other things he sees that I need to work on? I told him before I wasn't interested in a diagnosis, but should I ask for one? Would your T. tell you these things if you asked?

[PTSDlovemycats]

Yes I think that you should ask him all of the questions that you have posted here. Is money the only reason you want to stop therapy? If so do you think your T would be willing to work out some sort of arrangement with you? I think it might be an option since he is so against you leaving therapy. Just a thought. Yes I think my T would answer those questions if I asked her. Give it a shot. And YES! Why don't people follow the script!? Damn them!

[Xeneon]

I can totally understand how you would be stressing out over that. that would of bothered me too. If i were you I would just ask him why he thinks that. If your wondering what he has diagnosised you with you. Then ask, it doesn't hurt to ask. Good luck with your choice!!!!

[BlessedRhiannon]

Should I ask him why he doesn't want me to stop? Should I ask him if there are other things he sees that I need to work on? I told him before I wasn't interested in a diagnosis, but should I ask for one? Would your T. tell you these things if you asked?

Yes, I think you should just ask. And, yes, I think my T would answer these questions if I asked her.

[PTSDlovemycats]

When will you be seeing your T again??

[ECHOES]

Why is it when I have a whole conversation figured out in my head, the other person doesn't follow the script?

Funny how that works when it comes down to the actual conversation and the other person gets to respond with his/her own thoughts.

I think you and T have more to talk about. Yes, good idea to ask him why he thinks you should continue. My guess is that he does appreciate the strides you've made and sees room for more growth. He may think you are avoiding something and would like to see you continue for that reason. Deeper and more meaningful changes may be available and you could miss out on thtat.

Originally Posted by PTSDlovemycats

When will you be seeing your T again??

I'm supposed to see him on Thursday but I'm going to be away so now I have a really long time to stress about it. I may give him a call or text him to see if he has any openings before Thursday.

[Out_of_denial]

My therapist would not like that either. She's a little unusual though that she doesn't termanate people for not paying, as far as I know.

What she would say is that the more therapy you do, the better person you become. That comes from her personal experience of 13 years of therapy. Maybe your therapist has the same opionion and just loves the theraputic process.

That doesn't mean you need to keep going though just because they like it.

Amy

ps. She never follows any of my scripts either.

[laceylu]

Please remember it is your mental health care and yes you deserve a diagnosis if you want one. If you went to a medical professional they would be obligated to be honest and tell you what was wrong. Ask your T all those questions and then maybe both of you could come up with goals and a reasonable stop time. Do not loose hope, look at this as a new challenge or chapter in therapy.

My T had an opening tomorrow night. It seemed like a good idea to get in to see him to talk about my leaving but now I'm anxious that it will just be more talking in circles. Hopefully I will be able to get him to be specific about why he wants me to stay in therapy...when I feel ready to stop.

Session Update: T. was very understanding and happy I came into talk so that I could enjoy my long weekend trip instead of obsessing over the past session. He told me that he does not want me to stop therapy but that he is not going anywhere so if I decide to reduce sessions or stop soon he will be around later if I decide I want to come back. I didn't ask about diagnosis but he did talk about what he thinks I still need to work on. He said that while I may have learned a lot about myself and what impact the CA has had on me, he doesn't think I've learned to change those behaviors/way of thinking...he said that is truely the hard work of therapy.... and I thought the hard part was the six months it took to get myself to tell the T. the story and to admit the CA. This is so much more complicated than I let myself think in the beginning....I don't know what I want to do but I do know paying T. out of pocket gets very expensive.