no connection in t.

i know this is the wrong way to be in t. and dont deliberately do it. but its what i do. when im there i put up such a wall. i cant believe she tolerates it. its like im in a different room than her. i just happen to be able to hear her. there is zero connection from me. i dont look at her. and when i do talk to her its in a distant spaced out kind of way. and very brief. i am a master of being able to answer nearly any question with one word unfortunately. she tries to connect. i can tell. i dont know how to stop doing this.

I wonder about examining the relationship you have with your T. Are you walled off because you are defending something and trying to keep it safe? Is there something you need/want to share and can't, and need her to pull you out from behind the wall? Or is the connection with this T just not there and you need to work with someone you have better chemistry with?

I wonder if you want her to tolerate it, or if you want her to be a bit more assertive and try to encourage you more directly to drop the walls. I would explore that with T. Talk to T and tell her, I have this wall, this disconnect. And then explore if you want to connect with T, or not.

There is no "wrong way" in therapy. It just may not be a great match.

Good luck to you.

thank you!

Suzzie, you will progress eventually if you keep going to T and keep working. I think that you are doing good work. You will get there........

((((((suzzie))))))

I'm thinking it sounds like your situation is somewhat like granite's with her T. Will your T play a game with you or do something other than expect you to talk? Maybe draw or paint? Will she do breathing exercises with you? Maybe something completely different will help! What about writing notes to each other in the session? Or bringing in your writing? Do you ever do that?

Are you afraid of your T? Do you have a problem connecting to other people or just your T?