To Choreograph or Not

Include me in that PM if you could =)

Oh, those last 10 minutes! My EXTREME sympathies! That's when all MY work gets done! Too bad we can't schedule and pay just for that LAST bit of time, I'd have saved a freakin' fortune (in time and money) by now! Like the old expression, a month of Sundays.
(By George, I think she's got it!)

Going in with kind of less agenda this time, depression was what my session ended up being about too. T said he thinks we've been talking around it all along because sometime that's easier. He said it's hard to talk about just depression.

You think of depression as depth?

Oh, just ignore me. I go into way weird places while trying to understand stuff. I don't think anyone would understand. I barely understand. To give my T credit, she did listen as I stumbled over the words trying to convey my thoughts and feelings about it. I guess that's what therapists are for.

It doesn't sound that unusual to me, to think of it as depth. I think of it as honesty sometimes. I'm rather ambivalent about it.

Wouldn't that be nice if we were just charged for the real work times lol

Sky ..... I know you won't want to hear this, but I think you need to raise the anger at the next session and early on so you can address it Also hoping you learn to be gentler with yourself; people do want to hear what you have to say

and ..... do we get the last seven words and more of the early part

tigergirl - loosening the reins for session today was actually quite liberating in its own way. I need to change my approach from 'need to get things done' to 'what the hey'.

i know there is so much there; I just find always that when there is anger between you and the T.... it has a habit of getting in the way of everything else; even though in other ways they seem much more important (at least too us) to address

and that's ok on the dream

You did really well with loosening the reins today *cheer*

Because anger is primal and the other emotions are secondary (talkin out of my hat here). And because if you are lucky enough to access anger in session you should not look that gift horse in the mouth. Can I change my name to QueenOfClichés?

I once argued to my T that intelligent people cant be happy on the premise that anyone who thinks critically could never be happy. I also took it a step further by suggesting happy people don't think critically about the world around them.

talking out of your hat? do you wear your hat on your bottom?

Oh, I didn't know anger was primal. Huh. Okay. It doesn't look like it's going away. I'm calling T today to cancel my appointment if she can't find me another slot next week if that same a**h*le is scheduled after me again.

Hey, I like cliches - they're an quick and easy way to convey information. So, sure you can be Queen.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977-ish: I can't be happy if there is one miserable unfortunate person left in the world, no! EVERYBODY has to be happy for me to be happy.

is THAT why my friends call me an a**hat?! They ARE my friends, right?

My T and I talked a bit about something like that yesterday. Not about 'happiness' per se but that I feel guilty having fun like I did last weekend. And I was saying the happy feelings didn't feel as real or as authentic as the depressed feelings. That's when she made the comment about them just being more 'familiar' and therefore I was, in some way, more attracted to being depressed.

But I'm not as sensitive as you - thinking of all the unhappy people in the world. My point of view is much much much more selfish.

I have a confession to make. In the early 80's, I was that person. My T told me to push the buzzer WHEN I ARRIVED. Maybe it would have been better if she had said, 5 minutes before time? I mean, who doesn't keep track of time in the waiting room? But maybe if people don't ring before they sit down, they DO forget. I don't recall it bothering me, I vaguely remember her saying, "oh, they're just early" on occasion, so it probably didn't happen to me as often as it did to the poor schmuck ahead of me. I was thinking of this recently - how thoughtless I was! I apologize to you now since I can't apologize to my long-ago co-client. But why do they tell us to ring when we arrive?! It's a set-up!

He's an a**h*le for pushing a button? I would have pushed the button when I arrived too. Isn't that what you are told to do? Push the button when you arrive?

Overreaction I know. I'm sorry. But why is he/she 25 minutes early? Who chooses to sit in waiting room that long? I arrive exactly on time so I don't have to sit and wait and wait and wait and wait...

For some reason having that light flash in my face triggers me. It feels like he/she is an intruder into my time - that they're pushing me out. And since I can't ignore it easily, it feels like my time is up. Don't tell me to use logic - this is an emotional reaction.

I am always early to my appointments. I choose to be early because it gives me some time to just sit there and chill for a few minutes. I usually bring a book to read while I wait. Some people prefer to be early. I tend to be early to my pdoc appointments too, but in that case it is because I have to drive halfway across Dallas and never know what kind of traffic I will run into. I HATE to run late.

I hope you discuss this with your T when you talk to her about this.

These are 2 seperate things, though. Thinking and feeling are seperate. Being connected to others is what brings happiness IMO. You can be a thinker and be connected to your feelings and others and be happy.

Why do you need to know? You do things your way and this person does things his way.

It does sound like it would be distracting to have the light flashing for 25 minutes, and I think I would have a hard time ignoring the constant flashing too (maybe my ADHD speaking). Why doesn't your T just turn off the flashing light once she notices it? She knows the client is there once she sees it so it seems like it doesn't have to be on continuously.

There could be lots of reasons why the person is early. When I had to rely on other people or public transportation I was often early for my sessions because I had to follow their time schedule. And I have a friend who was always early to her sessions because she went there directly after work and it wouldn't have made sense for her to go home first because she wouldn't have been there more than a few minutes before she would have to leave again.

NAH happy people are just dumb

I almost always arrive 15 min early to my appointment and T must buzz me in. I wonder if I annoy the hell out of the person before me.

I don't think I'd want thinking and feeling to be separate for me. I suppose if you're a computer scientist or something, there would be a lot less feeling involved with thinking about topics like that. To me, the interesting things to think about involve people and society. If you think about those things without connecting them to feelings, it won't work very well. For me, thinking and feeling are very interconnected when they're at their best.