[granite1]

i know this is going to sound really stupid but all i want to do these last few days is just listen to my T voice. she could be reading a cookbook for all i care and i would listen. her voice is so calming . i don't know if it is what she is saying ,how she is saying it,or the tone she is using as she says it. know it sounds ridiculous and stupid but it feel good.las session i was so panicked and scared and her voice was so calming and it helped me to not be so messed up in my head.things made a little sense for just a little while.

all i can think of how a little kid or baby would feel when all upset and the mother comes and hugs it and talks to it until it is calmed down and feeling better.calm ,cared about,safe.or how it must feel to fall asleep with the mother reading a story.it feels good,safe, calming,and dangerous.this is why it terrifies the he!! out of me.i know i should probably tell her so that she could stop it .i know I'm not suppose to feel this way but i am also scared of what she would do instead.i don't want her to start being cold and hard toward me in order for me not to feel this way.IDK sorry for whining on about it i just needed to say something .thanks if you read all this.

I'm glad i use to read to my son every night and would hug and talk to him when he would be so upset or hurt.i hope it made him feel good

[FourRedheads]

No, that is not stupid at all. I understand. I've become really attached to my daughter's T and lately, the only thing that helps me when I'm confused or upset is hearing her voice in my head.

[skysblue]

I can so relate. I have messages saved on my phone from T and her voice is also very soothing and calming and I replay them when needed.

Why aren't you supposed to feel that way?

I would take this as a really positive sign, Granite. You've always talked about how scared you are of your t in the past. Perhaps you are finally getting to the point where some trust is settling in. That's great.

[delicatefade26]

Granite that isn't ridiculous or stupid at all!!! I think it's great you are finding comfort in her voice-it's a very normal reaction-I think it must be a requirement for T's to have soothing voices hehe! I was just thinking last night how I would love for my T to read me a book to sleep...I don't have his voice on anything-but hopefully one day I can get it!

[Victom4ever]

[Perna]

I don't think it sounds stupid at all; I changed my life and thinking because I noticed how calm and "pleasant" my T's voice and manner were compared to my own and finally understood how far off my anxiety was from what living could be like?

For awhile, I turned people into colors and my T was a cool, blue-green, sort of forest and stream put together? I always pictured our therapy as a "path" in such a forest that sometimes was easier to follow than others. I told her all about that and we discussed it; I think one can discuss just about anything with T.

I often wished I could just come take a nap with my T or that we could quietly read together, occasionally conversing if we read something interesting and wanted to share.

[Wysteria]

Hi Granite...I actually think this is great. I know I need my T's voice in my head to counteract the other negative voices in my head that I don't always recognize. I'm glad that I can hear his voice and know that it is the voice of reason and that soothes me when I'm upset and don't know what's happening or some tidbit of advice clicks into place that he told me long ago.

I want to know that his voice is soothing and calming to me so that I associate his advice and the things he tells me as safe and reassuring.. Plus he never yells at me or verbally assaults me like others do so it means that much more that I'm not afraid of his voice... He left me a voice mail a long time ago that didn't say anything in particular, but I saved it just for those times when I'm freaked and need to hear his voice tones and recognize them in my head. Maybe I'm weird, but it helps a little...

Wysteria Blue

[Omers]

I call T's voice mail and hang up just so that I can hear her voice. Do you have a favorite poem or short story/childrens book that maybe you could bring in and ask her to read to you? This might be a good way to start to feel less scared in her office and more comfortable.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by granite1

it feels good,safe, calming,and

dangerous.this is why it terrifies the he!! out of me.i know i should probably tell her so that she could stop it .i know I'm not suppose to feel this way but i am also scared of what she would do instead.i don't want her to start being cold and hard toward me in order for me not to feel this way.

This is really insightful granite. I do hope that you talk to T about this. Did the mother ever act nice occasionally?

I love the sound of my T's voice. It's always calm, soothing, and guides me to a place that's warm and nurturing. To me it is an anchor, it holds me in place safely instead of me drifting off somewhere unpleasant. It's a voice of healing, love, and protection - which I never had before - so of course I am drawn to it. T's voice takes me on a journey where I feel lost at times, but she is always certain of where we are going, tugging me along gently while holding my hand. It fills me up with fuzzy love and makes me feel 'whole'. It allows me to make it through the night when things feel scary.

I do not think it is stupid at all.

[Butterflies Are Free]

I feel the same way at times so I want you to know that you are not alone. I think it's great that you find your T's voice so comforting.

[nicoleb2]

I have 2 cd's my T made for me, one for relaxation and one for sleep. Both of them she is the one speaking, so they are VERY calming for me.

Maybe you could ask your T to do something like that?