[granite1]

my T has been giving me this shark to hold in session and i love it i find holding it very comforting and grounding anf it is soft and feels good.now told my husband i wanted a stuffy to hold in T so we went out and he got me the cutest softest kitty ever.i have yet to be brave enough to bring it to T.but i am thinking monday might be the day along with my letter.ANYWAY

this got me wondering if it would have the same effect as the stuffy that my T gives me to hold.i wonder if the comfort and good feelings come from the fact that it is hers or what.i felt like i would rather have my own and not having to keep using the one T hands me but now i have doubts about this.

who would have thought so much thought would be had about a stuffy.i must be so board today.so i want to know!!!

Do you have a stuffy???
what is it???
would you be more comforted by one your T gives you to hold durring the session????

[Sannah]

Your husband is so sweet!! I am so glad that you have such a wonderful man in your life!

THis is a good question granite. I'm curious what you find out. This is good work thinking about such things. This is how you will understand yourself and what you need. It isn't silly at all!

(Can you see how you see yourself here thinking that any exploration of yourself must not be valuable? And can you see where this would have come from?).

[doogie]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Your husband is so sweet!! I am so glad that you have such a wonderful man in your life!

THis is a good question granite. I'm curious what you find out. This is good work thinking about such things. This is how you will understand yourself and what you need. It isn't silly at all!

(Can you see how you see yourself here thinking that any exploration of yourself must not be valuable? And can you see where this would have come from?).

I have a blanket that is T's that I hold and/or take home when I need it. I think for me, part of the comforting part of it is that it is hers. Maybe you could leave you kitty to be with her in the office when you aren't there? It would be yours, but it would still be your T kitty as well? You could take it home when you want to take some of T with you when you need it?

[granite1]

Originally Posted by doogie

I have a blanket that is T's that I hold and/or take home when I need it. I think for me, part of the comforting part of it is that it is hers. Maybe you could leave you kitty to be with her in the office when you aren't there? It would be yours, but it would still be your T kitty as well? You could take it home when you want to take some of T with you when you need it?

this is such a great idea and i would so love to leave my kitty in her office to soak up all the good vibes from her and her office but i could never in a million yeard ask her to allow me to do such a thing.i couldnt handle her saying no and feeling like if she did dhe did so because she wouldnt want something of mine contaminating her office or anything in it that reminds her of me.dont think i could ever ask

I went and bought 3 small stuffies, and me, my T, and ET all have the same one. I carry mine with me to session, both T's have theirs in their office up high so no one can mess with them. They mean a LOT to me and to my T's.

There are times I like them to sit together in session. Sometimes T lets me take hers when she is going on a trip so they can be together. I don't see ET as often, so we take him to get perfumed by her so it smells like her.

[Hunny]

[granite1]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Your husband is so sweet!! I am so glad that you have such a wonderful man in your life!

THis is a good question granite. I'm curious what you find out. This is good work thinking about such things. This is how you will understand yourself and what you need. It isn't silly at all!

(Can you see how you see yourself here thinking that any exploration of yourself must not be valuable? And can you see where this would have come from?).

i do have the greatest hubby ever i must admit.

i think my T asked me to think this week about ways to help be feel safer talking in T.believe it or not i am not quite sure what it was she asked me to think about.but i think this is it in general and that made me think about the stuffies and my T bag.i wish i could ask her if i could keep my kitty in her office

[granite1]

Originally Posted by stormyangels

I went and bought 3 small stuffies, and me, my T, and ET all have the same one. I carry mine with me to session, both T's have theirs in their office up high so no one can mess with them. They mean a LOT to me and to my T's.

There are times I like them to sit together in session. Sometimes T lets me take hers when she is going on a trip so they can be together. I don't see ET as often, so we take him to get perfumed by her so it smells like her.

wow stormy this sounds so perfect to me i just dont think my T would ever go for it at all.i so understand your bringing your stuffy to ET to get perfumed and that is awsome.i also love that you all have the same the same stuffy.

[FourRedheads]

This is a great question, granite.

At my last session with T, I was able to ask if I could wrap up in her soft blanket she keeps on a bookcase. I have a lot of anxiety/panic and the blanket helped keep me grounded during the session. It was very, very difficult for me to ask for the blanket but I am soooo glad that I did.

I hope you bring the stuffy & your letter to your next session! And your hubby sounds very thoughtful!

[granite1]

Originally Posted by FourRedheads

This is a great question, granite.

At my last session with T, I was able to ask if I could wrap up in her soft blanket she keeps on a bookcase. I have a lot of anxiety/panic and the blanket helped keep me grounded during the session. It was very, very difficult for me to ask for the blanket but I am soooo glad that I did.

I hope you bring the stuffy & your letter to your next session! And your hubby sounds very thoughtful!

wow i think that is so cool that you were able to ask for that.i bet it must have been hard.did T just get up and give it to you?
i am going to try very hard to atleast convince myself that it is ok to bring my T bag in with me

I just wanted to add:
I think bringing in those things would always be ok. It shows that you are taking care of YOU in a gentle and kind way. That you were able to take something that feels safe in session (the stuffy shark) and take that a step further to get the same comfort outside of session (the kitty). I'm sure T would love to see you bring in sources that provide you comfort.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by granite1

i would so love to leave my kitty in her office to soak up all the good vibes from her and her office but i could never in a million yeard ask her to allow me to do such a thing.i couldnt handle her saying no and feeling like if she did dhe did so because she wouldnt want something of mine contaminating her office or anything in it that reminds her of me.dont think i could ever ask

Can you see how you are thinking of yourself here granite?

[Omers]

I have used T's stuff and I have brought my own. They each have their strengths. I would try it both ways and see what works for you. I LOVE it when I have a stuffy to take home that smells like T's perfume but... current T, massage T and Pdoc don't wear perfume

[rainbow8]

What a great question, granite! Personally, the things that my T owns have more meaning to me because she's giving me something so that makes it special. However, you may remember that I bought 2 matching bears, one for me and one for my T. Hers sits in her office so I see it every week, and mine is at home in my bedroom. When we have to miss a week, I take her bear home and sit him next to mine. I like that.

When she went out of the country she took my bear with--that was her idea--but that didn't help me. Actually, nothing helped me when she went on that trip.

So, maybe you can, or your H can buy a second kitty to match yours and you can give it to your T. Otherwise, bring yours in and see how you feel.

Does your T have a lot of things in her office? Mine does, so it doesn't look out of place to have her little bear as a kind of book-end. But, if your T's office is stark with maybe a plant or something, maybe it would look weird if you left your kitty there. My former T would probably never have acccepted it because she would say "If I take yours, I'd have to display what other clients give me". Fortunately, my T doesn't think like that at all!!!

I just wanted to say that because if you ask and your T refuses, that could be the reason.

I think your kitty will be comforting just to have with you during a session. Maybe your T can hold it for a while and it will become both of yours.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

What a great question, granite! Personally, the things that my T owns have more meaning to me because she's giving me something so that makes it special. However, you may remember that I bought 2 matching bears, one for me and one for my T. Hers sits in her office so I see it every week, and mine is at home in my bedroom. When we have to miss a week, I take her bear home and sit him next to mine. I like that.

When she went out of the country she took my bear with--that was her idea--but that didn't help me. Actually, nothing helped me when she went on that trip.

So, maybe you can, or your H can buy a second kitty to match yours and you can give it to your T. Otherwise, bring yours in and see how you feel.

Does your T have a lot of things in her office? Mine does, so it doesn't look out of place to have her little bear as a kind of book-end. But, if your T's office is stark with maybe a plant or something, maybe it would look weird if you left your kitty there. My former T would probably never have acccepted it because she would say "If I take yours, I'd have to display what other clients give me". Fortunately, my T doesn't think like that at all!!!

I just wanted to say that because if you ask and your T refuses, that could be the reason.

I think your kitty will be comforting just to have with you during a session. Maybe your T can hold it for a while and it will become both of yours.

i would love it even if she just named it for me so it would be a part of both of us if she wouldnt let me keep it in her office but i would be even to scared to ask her for that because i know she would probibly say no,that i should name it

[rainbow8]

You remind me of myself. I always think negatively. What if T says "yes"? If you don't ask, you won't find out. Even if she says "no", it doesn't mean you're bad. Ts do what is best for us; she would tell you why.

Maybe you can both discuss the name together! If you bring this up with your T, it would be a huge step towards healing. It's not just about "stuffies"; it's about asking for what you want and need, believing that you deserve to be listened to and shown kindness to, and believing you are worthy of gifts, whether from your T or anyone else.

[googley]

I take my stuffed animal to T. And have for most of my Ts. None of my Ts have had stuffed animals or blankets. A couple of them had pillows. I like bringing my own because I've had him since I was 5, so he has been through a lot with me.

I think I would want my own even if my t had their own that i could hold because I wouldn't want to have to think about sharing it with other clients. But that is just me.

[Omers]

A T with NO stuffies?????? I had a T with ugly stuffies... but a T with NO stuffies... Don't think they would make it to me interviewing them on the first session... IF there was a first session. I may just walk right back out as I walk in and see a stuffieless room!!!!
...and yes, I am absolutely serious!

No stuffies???? Seriously?!

[granite1]

Originally Posted by googley

I take my stuffed animal to T. And have for most of my Ts. None of my Ts have had stuffed animals or blankets. A couple of them had pillows. I like bringing my own because I've had him since I was 5, so he has been through a lot with me.

I think I would want my own even if my t had their own that i could hold because I wouldn't want to have to think about sharing it with other clients. But that is just me.

i agree with omers NO STUFFIES!!!! whats up with that??i now feel i need to look harder at what is on my T's shelf.i know she has 2 stuffies Shark and a cow.some books a container with art suplies,small ball and weights,a yoga mat rolled on the side of shelf with a doll house.she has a basket but i dont know what is in it to scared to look but now i might next time i put stuffie away.i know she has other stuff but dont really pay much attention.WOW NO STUFFIES.

[doogie]

Omers. Funny that you mentioned smell. One of the most comforting things about taking my t's blanket is that is smells like her office.

I have a LOT of stuffed animals-- lots of them.
T has given me 2 or 3 of them out of her office, to take home with me. One she gave me right before she left to go out of the country, so that's what I'm sleeping with right now.
For some reason I find the stuffies from T's office more comforting than the ones i already own-- they sorta smell like her office or her house, and that just sorta makes me feel better and brings up good memoires.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by Omers

A T with NO stuffies?????? I had a T with ugly stuffies... but a T with NO stuffies... Don't think they would make it to me interviewing them on the first session... IF there was a first session. I may just walk right back out as I walk in and see a stuffieless room!!!!
...and yes, I am absolutely serious!

No stuffies???? Seriously?!

My T doesn't have stuffies either. Her office is pretty stark; nothing "kid-like" for sure. About the only things she has in her office are a clock and a framed picture on the wall. It would be nice to hold something of hers during session-- like a stuffie or a blanket-- but she has nothing like that to offer. I couldn't even fathom the idea of her allowing me to take something of hers home with me. I didn't know Ts did that until I read some of the other posts! Bringing in my own stuffie wouldn't be the same. For me, the point of holding something in session would be to hold something that SHE offered ME as a gesture of comfort. But that just isn't the way my T works; she doesn't have that lovey-dovey-ooey-gooey side that likes stuffies, blankies, hearts, the color pink, and things that smell good. That's jut not T. But she appreciates the side of me that is that way; she says it's cute.

[Omers]

I am BIG on smells. Massage T started sharing her office with someone else a while back. Thankfully I was there when the new person came to sign the contract so I could smell her. Massage T and I talked a lot about how the smell change would impact me. The first session after the new person started the smells were different. Massage T was shocked... she couldn't smell the difference in her own office!

I would LOVE to leave my blankie with massage T so it smelled like her office but there is very little storage space for any extra stuff so I haven't asked.

xxxxxxxxxxx

[crazycanbegood]

My T doesnt have a stuffed animal but she gave me one as a gift when I asked. She also brought in a blanket for everyone when I told her her office needed it.