There are two philosophies about removing band aids. There are those who slowly peel up each side and slowly remove and then there are those like me who remove the band aid by quickly ripping it off...

I've decide to rip off the therapy band aid.

Its a long story...read my other posts if you want...but I've can't seem to get to a place where I can really work through my stuff...and I don't see my T. is going to be able to help me get to the place where I feel safe enough.... I can't keep paying $120 for 45 minutes and not see any progress... I've been "Robbing Peter to pay Paul"in order to pay for therapy and Peter is knocking at the door to get his money...and I need money for my kids christmas presents...

I'm really attached to my T. and just the thought of stopping makes me real sad... I've weighed the pros and cons but I'm not going to write them here because I don't want to be a discouragemnet to others along their therapy journey....

I know my T. is not going to be happy. He will say we do not just stop we wind down... well that sounds too painful. So I plan to tell him at my session on Thursday night that it is my last session. Now I want to make sure my T. knows how much I appreciate all that we have accomplished.. I'm afraid it will get too awkward for me to say what I want to say... Does anyone who left a T. or thought about it, have any ideas of how I could make sure he knows? Write it out? Send email?

Also if anyone has any support or encouragement to offer about how to get through the painful withdrawl, I'd love to hear it.

((((((Readytostop))))))

What if you took a break until after the holidays? I SO get wanting to just get AWAY from therapy. I took a break in the spring and it ended up being exactly the right thing for me. It was open-ended and I ended up only taking a break for about a month, but it gave me a chance to free up some money and time, and to just be in my life and not deal with the hard parts of therapy for a little while. When I went back, I was ready to finally move into the really hard stuff that I'd been avoiding for 3 1/2 years. I didn't know when I went back that I was going to finally get into that stuff.....but it seems like the break gave me some confidence that I didn't have before.

I'm pretty open with T about my feelings, so I tell him occasionally how important he is to me and how much he's helped me...but I did want to be sure to say that stuff before the break just in case the break ended up being really long (or permanent!). It was a super teary session, but I tried to just be open and honest. He didn't know before the session that I was planning on a break, so first we talked about that. And then we talked about our feelings about the break and about my therapy. I know it's hard sometimes to sit there face to face and say those things, so maybe you could write it in a card to give to him before you leave (or to read while you're there).

I did miss T, but since I knew that I was going to go back eventually, it was sad, but not unbearable. And I learned a lot about myself and how far I had come in therapy, and that made me feel close to T, which helped.

Sounds like you're in a hard place. Sending lots of hugs.

[SoupDragon]

I made the decision to quit a few months ago - when I reached that decision it felt easy - I could just wander off and not give T a second glance. I still feel like that now, but there is also a part that wants to hang on in there as I know if I do just walk, I will be back to square one. And I think that for me all the reasons that I want to leave are the exact reasons why I should stay. So instead of quitting I set myself targets, for example I had to start to talk about at least one of the difficult things within 4 weeks or I would quit (T didn't know this btw) - it did help to move me forward.

Like you I struggle to meet the costs and when I add it up in my head how much I have spent over the last 19 months, I think about all the things I could have got sorted in my house (have a broken window taped up with bubble wrap that I can't afford to get replaced). But then I tell myself I can afford food, heating, etc. and actually therapy has saved my life and therefore is not a luxury.

I am sure as you say, you have thought about the pros and cons, so I don't mean to challenge your decision. I was going to write the thoughts here that helped me switch off from T, but I don't think that would be responsible for me to do that, I think I need to come from a place of being pro therapy.

Good luck and as Tree says, maybe just think about a break rather than quitting full stop. Soup

Hello, Readytostop. Perhaps you could get a thank you card, write out how appreciative you are and give it to him when you get up to leave. Another option would be to leave the card with the receptionist with instructions to give him the card after you have left.

[stopdog]

I just distracted myself with activity, friends, and wrote in my journal. I also recently quit when the t was already going to be away, so it was not possible to change my mind and after a couple of weeks, the desire had faded away.

[Sannah]

You have gotten some good posts already. A break might be good but also, maybe your T can work with you for a better rate? If he is not booked some money might be better then nothing?