I just started with this new therapist. I've seen her twice and she's really judgmental. She told me once. "I once had a paranoid schizophrenic as a patient(like me), she didn't listen to a thing anyone said. It was awful." What was her reasoning for telling me that? Because I better be different? Because FEAR is part of the illness. And sometimes the delusion that everyone is out to get you?? So it's part of the illness and it sort of made me mad that she didn't understand this.

She makes judgments about a lot of people actually. And I can't tell if she's doing it on purpose to piss me off and make me say something, or if she really is that judgmental. Because she's really well known in my town, and I can't imagine a psychologist getting by into popularity if she's as judgmental as I've seen her. She basically said that because my mom was neglectful when I was young, that made her a "loser". Then she switched and told me my mom had to be "good" because she has a well off job and that my step dad is probably a loser because he drives truck. WHHAT??

My step dad makes twice as much as my mom, as a school counselor and he's as innocent as they come. He calls his mom every night and goes to church every sunday and has saved enough money that he won't have to collect SSDI. He'll just live off his pension. He's one of the most responsible citizens I've ever met.

She also told me that my old therapist was a loser because he only had his masters degree in social work. That's ridiculous. This upset me because I need her to be neutral. I am very mad at my old therapist, and I need to work it out, because I still have to work with him as part of my other team. I need to be able to say how he hurt me, without her drawing conclusions. She's something else. I've only seen her twice, but I'm giving her a chance to redeem herself. Especially after I tell her how much I don't appreciate the judgments. She's not very neutral. Like therapists should be. I fear that I constantly have to give her "the real picture of them" and it doesn't allow me to get over my hurt.

Like I want her to know that my mom has redeemed herself, but she called her a loser for being neglectful in the past. People make mistakes right? I already know this. I've already forgave my mom and I don't appreciate her downing her like that. She's my mom and she went to therapy herself and worked REALLY REALLY hard to support me in my mental illness and I love her for that. And my "social worker" therapist did a lot for me. And I don't appreciate her assuming he isn't worthy because he doesn't have the right "credentials". Credentials mean crap. Obviously he was better at relating to me then this woman, with he PhD. I'm so angry she makes these judgments. She sighs and rolls her eyes whenever I say something like "my parents divorced at age five". A lot of that stuff I got over while with my "loser" social worker.

I mean who is she to make these judgments? She told me that because I am on state insurance that she can't charge me for missing, but after two missed sessions I'm "gone", because chances are I'm irresponsible. What? In all the years I spent with my last therapist I was very devoted. Winter storm or flu I was there.

I am so upset over this. Because I spend my entire life realizing that under the surface people aren't how they present themselves. And here she is, an educated, well known woman making all sorts of judgments. Has she done nothing with her career but gone to school? Because she kind of sucks.

[Dr.Muffin]

I just started with this new therapist. I've seen her twice and she's really judgmental. She told me once. "I once had a paranoid schizophrenic as a patient(like me), she didn't listen to a thing anyone said. It was awful." What was her reasoning for telling me that? Because I better be different? Because FEAR is part of the illness. And sometimes the delusion that everyone is out to get you?? So it's part of the illness and it sort of made me mad that she didn't understand this.

i didnt even have to read past this to be bothered by what she said. and not even just the apparent intimidation tactic, but to refer to someone by their disorder....especially to a client...is really unacceptable to me.

you are not a paranoid schizophrenic, you are a person with a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia!

[Dr.Muffin]

okay, ive read the whole post now, and i applaud you. seriously. you seem to have a good grasp on why this is so troubling to you and how it will likely impede the work you can do in your therapy. tell her exactly how you feel. i'll be cheering you on from here.

I can understand your confusion LydiaB. With a diagnosis of psychosis, you're probably used to people telling you that these kinds of thoughts are just in your head - well not this time!

RUN! Run as fast as you can from this terrible therapist. PhD or not, she's not good!

Hope you can find another T, a good one, soon.

All the best,

*Willow*

[StrawberryFieldsss]

She called your mom a LOSER?

Oh god... a classic case of when the "helper" needs so much help herself.

Sorry to hear you even had to experience this.

[StrawberryFieldsss]

By the way I had an MSW when I was in therapy and she was awesome. So there lol!!

[LucindaHale]

OMG where did that woman graduate from? Must have been on an other planet or something Sorry you had to have that experience, hopefully you wont believe any of her judgemental crap!!!!
My shrink is hot, thats seriously frustrating too

[dizgirl2011]

Hi LydiaB,

I very rarely say to someone that you should leave and find another therapist but I will say that you should definately consider it with this woman.

How on earth are you supposed to feel you can trust her when she has shown how she judges people? She has no right to call anyone a 'loser', it is so wrong and immoral. What she has said go against theraputic ethics completely. I am not surprised you are angry at her for the things she has said about your parents. It is fine for a client to say what they want in their session but a therapist is supposed to be the objective person who is caring and supportive.

I am sorry you have had to listen to these things from her. I think you need to confront her, as you have said and make a decison on whether she is right for you or not, irrespective of others recommending her.

all the best

[pgrundy]

I can't think of a single good reason for anybody to call anybody else a 'loser', much less a therapist talking about your parents. Plus, talking about another patient to you and referring to that person as a diagnosis? How dreadful. She sounds just dreadful and you deserve better. I hope you can get someone who is more appropriate and wants to help you.

Honestly, she sounds very insulting and crass.

Run, run away.
If it was me I wouldn't be giving her a chance to redeem herself, either -- why throw any more money her way?
Judgmental is the last thing a therapist should be. How are you ever going to open up to her?

You deserve better, hun.

[unaluna]

Sounds like she was drunk or high. Or she thinks she's Charlie Sheen's T. "Losing!" "Outa here!" And rolling her eyes at you? Esp after the recent study that said you can tell if a couple is gonna split up, by if there's any eye-rolling going on? This would be funny if it weren't so effed. She needs help more than you do, it almost looks like.

She doesn't sound very nice. Who in the world made it okay for her to judge people? Geesh. Is it an option for you to find someone else?

It's definitely an option for me to find someone else. I have a lot of names from my insurance. She was the first one that had an opening. (probably for a good reason. )

But because nobody thinks I can handle my own vices. I'm going to my appt on Monday and I'm going to ask her "Are you usually this judgmental?" If she starts again. I just want to make sure she's not messing with me or pulling some game. Because like I said, otherwise, she sort of sucks. There's a male in her office who I considered seeing. He only has his MSW. Ut oh.

[Wysteria]

Hey LydiaB...
I agree wholeheartedly with the others. T's can be losers too with or without a PhD... I wouldn't really mess with it too much. Just find someone else. Unless there's a good reason to see the male T in her office, I'd actually go elsewhere. Why is he in business with her? Usually the really good ones tend to find people they respect to be in contact with on a daily basis. I'd just start fresh somewhere else and chalk it up to a life experience. I think your gut is right on target that when a PhD has so many openings, there might be a reason.

The right T is out there waiting to see you. Good luck in your journey..

Take care,

Wysteria Blue

[Dr.Muffin]

Originally Posted by Wysteria

Hey LydiaB...
I agree wholeheartedly with the others. T's can be losers too with or without a PhD... I wouldn't really mess with it too much. Just find someone else. Unless there's a good reason to see the male T in her office, I'd actually go elsewhere. Why is he in business with her? Usually the really good ones tend to find people they respect to be in contact with on a daily basis. I'd just start fresh somewhere else and chalk it up to a life experience. I think your gut is right on target that when a PhD has so many openings, there might be a reason.

The right T is out there waiting to see you. Good luck in your journey..

Take care,

Wysteria Blue

sometimes folks just share an office space and really dont know much about each other. she might even be quite delightful outside of therapy (doubt it!)