[confuseduk]

like... "I want DAILY contact with you" (but don't bother on the days I don't work) or "Please contact me and I'll support you" (but when you need support I'll only write one word or a sentence back) or "We can make appointments more often or sooner if you would like" (But you've already told me the appointment I have is only one available) anybody else feel this or am I being over-sensitive? Sorry for rant

[mixedup_emotions]

This is something that may be important to talk to T about, so you can get some clarification. There are boundaries and limits that come with every gesture - like a friend saying 'call me anytime'....but it doesn't mean ring at 3 AM each night. It doesn't mean the offer is any less sincere. Just my $0.02.

[confuseduk]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

This is something that may be important to talk to T about, so you can get some clarification. There are boundaries and limits that come with every gesture - like a friend saying 'call me anytime'....but it doesn't mean ring at 3 AM each night. It doesn't mean the offer is any less sincere. Just my $0.02.

I agree and I'm very respectful of boundaries, I don't like to contact T but only do within hours specified and I e-mail so T can get back to me whenever. I'd never expect T to be there 24/7 or she'd burn out, it would't be fair on her. Just feel like I'm a cash cow and number right now I guess

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by confuseduk

I agree and I'm very respectful of boundaries, I don't like to contact T but only do within hours specified and I e-mail so T can get back to me whenever. I'd never expect T to be there 24/7 or she'd burn out, it would't be fair on her. Just feel like I'm a cash cow and number right now I guess

Oh, I certainly understand that. I know there are times when I feel upset or angry that I am one of many clients - leaving me feeling insignificant, not cared for, etc. - even though T has shown me clearly that he does care.

In the past, when I felt that way, I would ask T for reassurance....but most recently, I shared with him my process for dealing with such painful feelings....to try to get to the bottom of why I go the route that I do (which is, feel upset/envious/desperate for his caring....then bash him/myself to the point of me feeling numb and indifferent). I am hopeful that by working through this, that I will somehow deal with those feelings in a healthier way next time. We'll see.

Hope you can find a way to address this with your T.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by confuseduk

like... "I want DAILY contact with you" (but don't bother on the days I don't work) or "Please contact me and I'll support you" (but when you need support I'll only write one word or a sentence back) or "We can make appointments more often or sooner if you would like" (But you've already told me the appointment I have is only one available) anybody else feel this or am I being over-sensitive? Sorry for rant

Nope, I definitely do not think you are being too sensitive. There is a lot of "push/pull" in therapy and around the therapy "space".

It's hard to negotiate and come to tolerate the limitations AND the inherent strengths of the situation.

You'll make it. It's just tough.

[OneRedRose]

Originally Posted by confuseduk

like... "I want DAILY contact with you" (but don't bother on the days I don't work) or "Please contact me and I'll support you" (but when you need support I'll only write one word or a sentence back) or "We can make appointments more often or sooner if you would like" (But you've already told me the appointment I have is only one available) anybody else feel this or am I being over-sensitive? Sorry for rant

hmm it does sound abit mixed! maybe you should speak to her? maybe explain how you feel about the mixed messages? she probably means well but just abit overwhelmed with work atm but only she can really answer that.

[confuseduk]

Thanks everyone. Sorry, think I'm just taking things to literally. I guess I was just a bit hurt cos she asked me to message if I needed support. I did and it was a big deal for me cos I don't like bothering T. I said I was struggling with my week and then I said I might not be able to come to next appointment due to other commitments and she just said ok, let me know. She didn't acknowledge what I said about struggling but maybe I'm just being stupid. Just feel like I reached out to her and got rejected Sorry

[sunrise]

Yes, I have definitely felt that way a number of times with my T. I just chalk it up to "he means well" by saying those things but the reality doesn't match his good intentions. So when he says those things, I just interpret it as his way of showing support and saying he cares about me, but I don't really expect him to provide whatever he seems to be offering.

Like one time he told me he always answers phone messages he receives the same evening. I think I guffawed when he said that. I have very rarely called my T (I'm very respectful of boundaries and not intruding into his time), but when I have, he most frequently has either never called back at all or called me back days later.

So when he says that type of thing, I smile, because I know better. I've always thought it was a personality quirk of his or perhaps due to his being busy/forgetful/disorganized. I've reached the point where I don't take it personally. If I did, I would be an unhappy camper!

confuseduk, I think your T means well when he says those things. Maybe try to take it in that spirit or discuss with him and sort it out?

[RiverX]

Why do people so oftent assume Ts are more healthy than we are. Im afraid often they're not. I dont think you're imagining it, or that its your stuff. You could confront her about this, but not alienate her too much : s

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by RiverX

Why do people so oftent assume Ts are more healthy than we are. Im afraid often they're not. I dont think you're imagining it, or that its your stuff. You could confront her about this, but not alienate her too much : s

I agree - My bar is they need to manage to seem less crazy than I am for the 50 minutes I am interacting with them. However crazy they are for the rest of their time is not my problem.