[FourRedheads]

I am nervous about my T session tomorrow.

Actually, I am not nervous. I am scared. Throwing up scared.

I'm not good at articulating what I am feeling and thinking. All I can come up with right now is I'm afraid. I would really appreciate the support.

[Flooded]

I'll be there!

[karebear1]

I'll come along as well!

[sittingatwatersedge]

you're not alone. You have a whole lot of people supporting you, hoping for your success. Try to take it as it comes.
and save a pocket for me too

[missbelle]

Me too..can I bring the cats?

[rainbow_rose]

me also!

[Vander626]

I'll b there!

The bunny is hopping right in - good luck!!

[FourRedheads]

Thanks.

Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone, SAWE. I am frustrated right now because I have all this fear of T, of going to T, of being with T. I don't know what the fear is all about.

Last session, T was very superficial. We talked about nothing important. Really stupid things. I might as well have been talking to my neighbor. I want to talk about deeper things but I'm scared to do it. I'm scared to tell this to T. I know I need to tell her this but....ugh! I get in there and my brain turns to mush. Maybe knowing you are all there supporting me will help me to speak up.

I'll be another if there's room for one more

Originally Posted by FourRedheads

Maybe knowing you are all there supporting me will help me to speak up.

I send you many courageous speak-up vibes to help your already existing courageous speak-up vibes do their thing.

Can you write a note to give to her that says just what you said here? Print your post out and take it to her? I just think saying it the way you said it here is just so important to say to her. I think it will help you, and help her help you.

Anne

[lastyearisblank]

I'll be there too! Feel better soon

[confuseduk]

Hope you have a big pocket! I'll be there too and you'll be in my thoughts. Sending you Best of luck

[confused and dazed]

Make room, I'm hopping in!

[FourRedheads]

[QUOTE=3rdTimesTheCharm;2049350]
Can you write a note to give to her that says just what you said here? Print your post out and take it to her? I just think saying it the way you said it here is just so important to say to her. I think it will help you, and help her help you.

/QUOTE]

Why is the thought of printing out this thread so terrifying? I want to feel better so I should be open and honest with T about what I am feeling. But...I want to hide. I'm afraid of what T will think of me if I let her in.

I have a couple of pictures in my purse that I pulled out earlier this week, thinking that maybe I could show them to her. The first is a picture of my children right before I left for the final time. My oldest is so beaten down and sad she isn't looking at the camera. My second oldest has her arms protectively around her younger brother and sister. I think this picture captures the pain and scariness of this time very well.

The other picture was taken almost 5 years ago, after I left. I'm in the living room of my own home, safe, surrounded by my childhood friends, with all of our kids. It's a great picture. Full of life and happiness.

What do you guys think? I don't know why, but I think I might like to show her these pictures. Maybe to show her where I have been?

[rainbow_rose]

Originally Posted by FourRedheads

Why is the thought of printing out this thread so terrifying? I want to feel better so I should be open and honest with T about what I am feeling. But...I want to hide. I'm afraid of what T will think of me if I let her in.

I have a couple of pictures in my purse that I pulled out earlier this week, thinking that maybe I could show them to her. The first is a picture of my children right before I left for the final time. My oldest is so beaten down and sad she isn't looking at the camera. My second oldest has her arms protectively around her younger brother and sister. I think this picture captures the pain and scariness of this time very well.

The other picture was taken almost 5 years ago, after I left. I'm in the living room of my own home, safe, surrounded by my childhood friends, with all of our kids. It's a great picture. Full of life and happiness.

What do you guys think? I don't know why, but I think I might like to show her these pictures. Maybe to show her where I have been?

I think showing your therapist those pictures is a wonderful idea!

[Flooded]

Red, I have t tomorrow too and am dreading it also, but I have typed and printed out everything she needs to know so I'm hoping that will make it easier so I think the photos are a great idea too.

[FourRedheads]

I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow, Flooded. Great idea to have everything all typed out and ready to go.

Thanks for all the support, everyone. I'm leaving in about an hour. I'm now in the shaking-can't concentrate on anything-stage of the game. I hate this. Week after week of this. Is this supposed to be helping?

I'm going to try really hard to remember the support here and to show her the pictures. That's my goal. And maybe tell her that I'm feeling afraid.

[mixedup_emotions]

I think the pictures are a great idea too. I hope the session goes well for you. Hopping in your pocket!

[stopdog]

I hope it went well today. I used to throw up each week right before the appointment with the first t - it was horrible.

[FourRedheads]

Oh stopdog, that's awful. I'm so sorry.

I have a fear of throwing up so that doesn't happen here. I just get so afraid that I can't focus or think about anything else. The fear takes over everything.

[Flooded]

And it's 4.30am in Australia and I haven't been to sleep yet. That's what do before a t appt.

[FourRedheads]

Hope you were able to get some sleep, Flooded.

I can't thank you guys enough for the support today. It made all the difference in the world. This week's session was 100% different and better than last week's. I showed her the pictures!! I even told her that I was feeling afraid of being there. She responded very well. She liked the pictures.

I felt like this was a "real" therapy session. It felt like we were starting to do some work. At one point, she was saying how in a healthy relationship it's important that my needs are met too. I suddenly felt very cold and spacey and very very sad. She noticed this and commented that I looked very sad. She asked me why and I wasn't able to answer. But it felt good to have another person see the sadness and acknowledge it. I didn't feel so alone.

[rainbow_rose]

Reading your post made me smile, FourRedHeads. Sounds like a good session!

[Flooded]

I've just had an hours sleep and I'm off to my appt now. I reckon I'm going to cry like a baby.