[Kozel]

I posted on here a while ago about how things had changed between me and my T (he's also my pdoc - i'm in the uk). Literally, at our very next session, he said our next sesion was going to be our last and we should use that session to discuss it and any feelings that came up. It was such a shock, i just pretended I was ok with it. He said when we started therapy that he thought if someone needed long-term therapy he would refer them to a T.

The thing i'm so upset about is that I am afraid of opening up to a new T, starting all over again, feeling rejected all over again (although I know this isn't rational, he has my best interests at heart, otherwise he would just keep taking my money). He seems to think we can be friends outside of the T relationship: he has invited me to a conference in November, invited me to his churches open day, and even texted me to say that he loves me and my husband (who he's only met a couple of times - although it was put in a nice way).

He said he is still happy to recieve texts off me but it's been 3 weeks now and I have realised that I am strong enough to do without this, but I still have moments (like now) where I'm so tempted to contact him, so I have posted on here instead. Sorry, I just needed to get this out!

[Kozel]

I guess I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this, and did they come through it? It would be good to hear from people who have experienced similar extremely close relationships, only for them to change, if you get what I mean... I just feel all alone with these overwhelming feelings. It's the worst I've ever felt (even worse than how I felt when I was referred and I'd had a psychotic break)

I understand why its shocking. I was dumped by my T of 7 years out of nowhere one night. I still don't know why exactly. It was so hard and took me a long time to get over it. I have to say though it sounds a bit unprofessional and out of bounds for him to be saying that he wants you to come to stuff with him, and that you two can be friends...that really isn't appropriate in most cases. You can get over this shock and the sadness of all this... you totally are strong enough to do it. And I definitely understand being afraid to open up to a new T. Maybe its just too soon right now. After losing my Ex T I didn't want to either, and it took over 2 years b efore I was ready to even think about having a new T. Now I am glad I took the chance and found a new T as she is wonderful and even better than ex T, but it took a while for me to be ready to trust someone new.

[stopdog]

I am sorry you are having to go through this. The part about his church and being friends sounds sort of odd on his part though.

[Perna]

Psychiatrists are doctors; and while they might do some "temporary" or limited therapy work, they don't usually go into actual therapy mode. They're more for prescribing meds. It could be your psychiatrist really wants you to see a real psychologist and get some real therapy, better than what he is able to provide because his training is in medicine, not psychotherapy.

It sounds to me like he's trying to soften the blow of "leaving you" by inviting you to these events. Like he's trying to show you that it's not personal - that he's not abandoning you - that it's not that he doesn't like you. Since he said he's happy to receive texts from you, why not use that opportunity to get some help with this, or some closure to the professional relationship. Why not tell him that you're having a tough time with this, and feeling overwhelmed. Ask him if he has any suggestions on how you can cope with this. Maybe just sending the text would help a little? I don't know your history with this T, so these are just my thoughts. I really hope you can find some way to feel better about this.

[Catlovers141]

I don't have any advice but am going through something very similar with my T. Never thought this would happen. It hurts a lot but we will both get through it.

[Kozel]

Thank you all for your kind responses. It means a lot.

SarahMichelle - Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad it's worked out well for you with your new T

Perna and Bunny - What you both said makes a lot of sense and helps. I suppose I was just a bit shocked because it was so sudden as I had been seeing him every week for some months. But you are right Perna, he doesn't really do long term T and Bunny you make a very good point. Thanks

Thanks Stopdog and Catlovers141, and I'm sorry you too are going through this also Catlovers, I hope that you get through this painful process and are ok. Thinking of you

I'm feeling a lot calmer today, I think I just had a bit of a meltdown the other night. It helps such a lot to have your support on here.

p.s. Does anybody know if it is possible to edit a thread on here? I just wanted to remove a few details but can't see an edit button. Thanks