[beauflow]

i'm just laying down for some rest but this question keeps popping up due to my session today and my first few sessions with my t, but does anyone else feel as their therapist wants to get rid of you.

I don't think my t wants to drop me cuz of my personality per say ie i stink. But i think she thinks even though i have issues i'll be ok with out therapy in some way. I wish i could reveal all of me to t i really wish. I wish i didn't lie today about being ok, but yet verbaly i told her i wasn't ok and cried in session.

I have thought about dropping therapy but yet still keep going i think a part of me feels it helps in some way or gives me some shallow hope of help.

T said i only had till march and we haven't touched on things that i really wanted to on why i began. Just work issues it seems like. Uhg. Idk but i some times thinks she wants to drop me. Idk why exactly. Maybe she doesn't like me and sees me as a crying person. Uhg. Idk. Just was wondering about others. *

And if so have you ever told your t how you feel.

My boyfriend said tell her you think this and i told him no cuz she maybe more pushed to get rid of me.

Some thing in the back of my head buried deep asks if this is an attachment issue. :-| idk that either! Blah. but would be interested if i'm one of a few or a hand ful and if any suggestions on dealing with it. Thanks-

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by beauflow

i'm just laying down for some rest but this question keeps popping up due to my session today and my first few sessions with my t, but does anyone else feel as their therapist wants to get rid of you.

I don't think my t wants to drop me cuz of my personality per say ie i stink. But i think she thinks even though i have issues i'll be ok with out therapy in some way. I wish i could reveal all of me to t i really wish. I wish i didn't lie today about being ok, but yet verbaly i told her i wasn't ok and cried in session.

I have thought about dropping therapy but yet still keep going i think a part of me feels it helps in some way or gives me some shallow hope of help.

T said i only had till march and we haven't touched on things that i really wanted to on why i began. Just work issues it seems like. Uhg. Idk but i some times thinks she wants to drop me. Idk why exactly. Maybe she doesn't like me and sees me as a crying person. Uhg. Idk. Just was wondering about others. *

And if so have you ever told your t how you feel.

My boyfriend said tell her you think this and i told him no cuz she maybe more pushed to get rid of me.

Some thing in the back of my head buried deep asks if this is an attachment issue. :-| idk that either! Blah. but would be interested if i'm one of a few or a hand ful and if any suggestions on dealing with it. Thanks-

It is normal to feel discouraged sometimes. It is fairly common to project this frustration on the therapist. In other words, maybe you are feeling it's not going well, but you can't admit to yourself that you want to quit. Perhaps it would be easier for you to be dropped? That would be a really useful thing to talk about.

I had a setback with my T two years ago. I thought she was dumping me, and she thought I was dumping her. And something wasn't right, or one of us would have fought harder to save the relationship.

But a couple of months after I quit, she invited me to try again. And I did. We've been in almost continuous honeymoon ever since.

Your boyfriend is right.

[ECHOES]

Yes, I thought it a lot and when I learned I could tell her about it when I was thinking it, it was really helpful. Even now the thought creeps in, as it did tonight, after 4+ years with T.

I think it's a common thought to have about your therapist. So many of us feel unacceptable and that plays out in therapy.

Accept that these kinds of thoughts may come up, but they are just your thoughts. They don't reflect your T's feelings at all - they are your own thoughts and they are about you and what you feel about yourself. It is really important to take this to therapy to get some feedback and reassurance.

Hang in there and keep going

[beauflow]

Thanks CantExplain and Echos- sigh that is hard to do though- to bring this up.... I realized though today that March 2012 is my end of therapy with this unless T sees fit to continue a bit longer, then I realized that in Feb 2012 my boyfriend wants to move, and Idk if that will be in the county or another :-?.... I will try to bring this up with my Therapist.... I see what you guys are saying though to get feed back is best, and that it is partially a problem... sigh, I am not sure if it is with in myself or a fear of being left though- cuz I have found some of the things in Therapy has helped, but yet I am failing to continue to do some things (Simi self destruction of self and a relationship, I guess which I suppose is best than what I use to do)

Thanks though! I will try to have courage- I am afraid to tell T how i think some times though due to I fear then she will leave, or that it will start for her to think to if she had not already been thinking it... blah (fears I know)

[Joanna_says]

I felt exactly the same way you do just recently. I had the feeling that my T found me too difficult to work with because I have such a hard time trusting him and getting to talk to him about difficult things, that he thought I am a hopeless case and he just does not feel like wasting his energy on me.
I even thought that he had said that to me in last weeks session because afterwards I could not remember a thing of the first half. Probably got so scared that he would be saying this that I actually thought he had said it.

I already have had that feeling build up over a couple of weeks and once tried to write a bit about it in a mail but could not talk about the mail. Probably the mail got me so scared then last week...

After that session I felt sooo bad that I could not handle it anymore and scheduled an extra session to find out what he really thinks and what has happened.

And do you know what? We had the greatest session so far. It was difficult to name all my fears and bad thoughts I thought he has about me. But after all I got to hear that it is all wrong and what he really is thinking. It was purely amazing and has helped me to gain some trust in him now.

We also agreed that if I should ever think/feel that way again I will try to talk to him about it immediately.

So I really think it is a good thing to get over the fear and try to talk to T about those feelings. Chances are it is your fear and not a reality what he is thinking about you.

[beauflow]

Thank you Joanna Says- it does help... I don't see my therapist till after this thanksgiving... I guess I need to remember she scheduled basically the first day she is coming in back, like she did not ask what day would be good for me she just did the closes day she'd be back... I agree this is probably something to be talked about

Geez once again my boyfriend is right and I need confirmation from others LOL (ha ha ha?)

I feel like a little kids with this too at times, like she isn't to be "there for me" all the time, and I was not sure if I would be doing this longer.... sigh- it is hard

Your guys'/gals' suggestions and stories I believe will help, like t said before I left, Write things down for next session if I have to cuz It will be a bit before it.

[Perna]

Can you make yourself a "plan" for therapy with this T and perhaps continuing on with another?

I know when I decided to make a plan for my life, what I wanted to learn from jobs, it really freed me to take and leave specific types of jobs, turned the table on job interviews and whether I was hired by a particular job!

Do a December to February plan with a March extension and then a couple of scenarios (if you move in February versus if you terminate with this therapist in this county in March)? Make a list of what you would like to accomplish with therapy? Specific! It is easier to work on things with a person if you have a specific goal in mind, even if it is only to have an "honest" conversation with this therapist; you figure out what you would have to do to get there for yourself, what "honest" would be like, etc. and that gets you moving in that direction. Maybe you only want to "practice" on this therapist, get a feel for what therapy is like? That is a valid goal for 4-5 months! You can write down your (specific :-) problems you are having now with therapy and talking to her, how you feel about her being female, if you'd like to try a male therapist, what you like about her/her style, etc.; start a therapy "journal" as a project? Think of several questions to ask yourself once a month to see how you are progressing toward your goals?

[beauflow]

Perna that is not a bad idea-
Though we have made a "plan" (for me to be less chaotic and to have peace LOL) these last two sessions she keeps asking how I am to a scale of 1-10 on it I tell her a 5 cuz I am not doing horrid (well most days) but then I am still doing stuff that really gets me going still and all....

But I will mention to her about the feb moving-- UGH which is just another thing to agitate me cuz of a lot...

But I will try to be more specific- I have been thinking if she can point me where i could go- or if we can continue- IDK.. I will have to think on this and try best to be more specific...

there is another thing that i talked with my boyfriend about the other day as well-- cuz we were talking on the scale, I told him I still feel choatic (I had gotten chaotic with in talking to him about something really trival and started talking but then got fine again but anyways) I told him I like talking to this T, she has given some pointers, but I don't feel that I have really made progress... So I guess a Five for her scale is true though, cuz I could be worse.

Sorry for rambling