[SoupDragon]

I really feel that I am losing interest in therapy. How do I know whether I am genuinely bored of thinking about myself, whether my T is boring me, or whether it is just symptoms of depression kicking in again?

[sunrise]

Have you ever tried telling your T "I'm bored" when you are talking to him/her? The feeling of "boredom" might mean something. A dissatisfaction with therapy? I feeling that this is not something that is important to you to talk about? An indirect way of expressing that you wish you were working on something else? A sign that you have nothing further to work on in therapy? It could mean a lot of things. I hope it is not a sign of depression. But it could be. Hope you will discuss with your T!

[Indie'sOK]

I feel the same way SoupDragon. I really don't know why, either. I've been in therapy with one T or another for two and a half years now, and never before have I felt bored with it like I do now. I encourage you to talk to your therapist about this the next time you see them, just as I will with mine this Wednesday. I agree that it most likely does mean something.

((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) for you. I hate this feeling too, especially since I can't figure out what it means. I guess in the back of my mind I know that if it turns out I really am just losing interest in therapy, plain and simple, then that in itself really can't be fixed. I've lost interest in journaling as well - something I'd been doing for years.

[stopdog]

Has it gone on for awhile or just come upon you?

[sunrise]

One time I commented to T that we had been seeing each other 2 years now (or some number of years). And he said, "Really? Has it been 2 years? It still feels fresh." I took "fresh" to be a good thing and also thought his comment also meant that sometimes therapy can feel stale. With us it hadn't yet, but maybe it is a cycle that therapy goes through, and after a while it ceases to be fresh anymore. Maybe that is a sign therapy is winding down. I don't know. I haven't thought of that comment of T's for quite a while. Should one not continue if therapy is stale?

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by sunrise

Maybe that is a sign therapy is winding down.

I hope not

Do you have kids? "Bored" is the oft-used word of the pre-teen crowd. Probably for teens too, but I don't have one yet. Maybe I'm just desensitized, but I don't think boredom is a sign for anything very important.

The question is, are you where you want to be in your life? If not, are the issue(s) left things that you want to work on in therapy?

Anne

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I really feel that I am losing interest in therapy. How do I know whether I am genuinely bored of thinking about myself, whether my T is boring me, or whether it is just symptoms of depression kicking in again?

I don't know how to know for sure what is causing your lose of interest in therapy. But for me, when I was in panic, chaos mode, therapy was the only thing that helped me hang on. Everything that happened there seemed very important.(and it was)... but now I am not as distraught as I was before, it seems like therapy is less important. But truthfully, I am just now getting to the place to understand the causes of the distraught, panic and chaos...and it is harder work because its about talking about hard stuff, changing thinking, changing behavior and its not fun... so there are times it feels like I've lost interest. As far as it being a symptom of depression, have you lost interest in other things that are important to you in RL as well?

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

I feel the same way SoupDragon. I really don't know why, either. I've been in therapy with one T or another for two and a half years now, and never before have I felt bored with it like I do now. I encourage you to talk to your therapist about this the next time you see them, just as I will with mine this Wednesday. I agree that it most likely does mean something.

((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) for you. I hate this feeling too, especially since I can't figure out what it means. I guess in the back of my mind I know that if it turns out I really am just losing interest in therapy, plain and simple, then that in itself really can't be fixed. I've lost interest in journaling as well - something I'd been doing for years.

Yes I used to do alot of journalling too, but have rarely written anything for the last few months. I know I have a lot of issues and it is worrying if this is the end of the line for me in terms of engaging in therapy, as then I don't know how I'll ever get things sorted.

Shall we compare T responses after Wednesday? (if I am brave enough to bring it up of course)

[SoupDragon]

Thanks for your replies.

Stopdog: I think I have been feeling low for a couple of weeks now, actually maybe the loss of interest started to kick in after my last really hard session with T - maybe I have put the barriers back up?

Sunrise: I'm not sure if it feels stale or fresh - I find it so hard to be open with T - but maybe I am just fed up going and trying to be open and constantly failing.

3rdtimesthe charm: yes I have kids, my 7 year old is already going through the "I am bored" phase! But I think mabe it is interesting for me to try to look deeper at what it is I actually mean - i.e. what is boredom? And yes maybe this is about things I don't want to work on, or find too difficult.

Readytostop: Yes I have had the really fearful times there with T, learnt some strategies to deal with the anxiety, disconnection. I have exhausted all the reading and now I am thinking back to a post of Skysblue - where I said it is about feelings - I think that is all that is left for me to explore and for me it is the really scarey stuff. The memories are in the past and although, difficult for me to talk about, those feelings in real time and the really deep / hard part - so maybe my boredom is a real feeling in relation to strategies / theory, been there done it and it is they are now boring me - maybe time to be brave and turn to the over stuff.

Sometimes we take these feelings into the therapy setting to "show" to see if we can get a more satisfying result. For me boredom wasn't boredom, it was the very young part of me that was left for hours unattended, supressing all desires and yearnings. This time around, when I told T I felt "bored" she was curious, she asked me about it, then that part of me woke up.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by earthmamma

Sometimes we take these feelings into the therapy setting to "show" to see if we can get a more satisfying result. For me boredom wasn't boredom, it was the very young part of me that was left for hours unattended, supressing all desires and yearnings. This time around, when I told T I felt "bored" she was curious, she asked me about it, then that part of me woke up.

Wow yes that's spot on, I do find it unsatisfying. Does that mean that young part of me now wants to engage with T?

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Does that mean that young part of me now wants to engage with T?

Can you answer this? Your eek face says something about how you feel about this.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Can you answer this? Your eek face says something about how you feel about this.

I am afraid that the answer is probably yes.

[Sannah]

You don't want that young part coming out?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I really feel that I am losing interest in therapy. How do I know whether I am genuinely bored of thinking about myself, whether my T is boring me, or whether it is just symptoms of depression kicking in again?

I let my T three times.

Once I was too angry to continue.

Once I was too sad to continue.

And once, the last time, the time I really don't understand, I left because I didn't feel enough of anything.

Storm out, yes. Rush out in tears, yes. But how could I just walk away because I was bored? Scary.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Yes I used to do alot of journalling too, but have rarely written anything for the last few months. I know I have a lot of issues and it is worrying if this is the end of the line for me in terms of engaging in therapy, as then I don't know how I'll ever get things sorted.

Shall we compare T responses after Wednesday? (if I am brave enough to bring it up of course)

Wow you guys, I could have written the EXACT same thing about finding therapy unsatisfying.....and sure, I think it could help us both if we compare responses I need some bravery too - maybe we should both promise to do it lol

I might start my own thread on this now so as to stop hijacking yours! Sorry.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Sannah

You don't want that young part coming out?

I have an intense loathing of who I was then, so no I am not keen on facing that thing I locked up a long time ago - I think I am scared of that part of me, scared that "she" may overwhelm me.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

Wow you guys, I could have written the EXACT same thing about finding therapy unsatisfying.....and sure, I think it could help us both if we compare responses I need some bravery too - maybe we should both promise to do it lol

I might start my own thread on this now so as to stop hijacking yours! Sorry.

I really welcome others jumping on board who share similar thoughts / feelings, it sort of feels less lonely - but shall look out for your thread.

Not sure if I can promise, but I can promise to definitely try

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Yes I used to do alot of journalling too, but have rarely written anything for the last few months.

same here. And last week T strongly urged me to start it up again. For one thing it is helpful, she said, to be able to go back later and look at what I was feeling at some particular time.

My handwriting is so lousy that she can't read it, so she never asks to read my journal, but she is always VERY interested when I read to her from it. The thing is, I don't have the knack that some on PC have for just putting down whatever comes up; I edit, I fine tune, i rephrase. And I end up with a journal containing thoughts that are mine, but not spontaneous thoughts.

Strangely, the more she enthused about starting to journal again, the more offput I felt. For me I think it's a defense, Soup; could your boredom be a defense also? do you suppose?

[lastyearisblank]

Soup, I think I understand that bored feeling. I get this way in therapy too (and in life)- just burned out. It is so scary to me. Like losing oneself. I never want to go into therapy and just say "oh, it's you, hi" and just sit across from T acting like a patient, or something.

Maybe this is something you could work on w/ T??? It could be really helpful to address this if it is related to other stuff going on in your life like possibly feeling more depressed.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I have an intense loathing of who I was then, so no I am not keen on facing that thing I locked up a long time ago - I think I am scared of that part of me, scared that "she" may overwhelm me.

Can you talk to your therapist about this?