My problems are so much worse!!!!

Wow, this REALLY puts a lot in perspective for me. Yikes.

I'm a minimizer 100%. I'm fine, you're fine, we're all fine. I'm breathing, I'm well fed, I have a comfy bed to sleep in....I mean, JUST LOOK at all those poor, starving children in Africa.... until my anxiety kicks in full throttle and I can't see straight. I haven't even really gotten into anything deep or significant with my T yet. I haven't accepted myself or my past/childhood; I barely even think about it (willful ignorance anyone?). I can't give myself permission that I deserve to be there just as the next person. I can't yet love myself enough to see that I'm worthy of peace in my life and in my heart. I'm in survival mode, just as I've always been. I feel unable to live any other way; I just don't know HOW to do that. It's like, NOT living in survival mode is the epitome of what "normal" is to me. Hopefully, with T, I'll get there. But I'm very impatient. Hopefully he won't get sick of me or terminate me before I get to where I need to be.

I minimize mine because I feel like people have bigger issues than I do. Especially after hearing another's story...it makes me feel like crap. Why can't I just be happy with the life I've been given? Yes I've had & is having some rough times, but it could be worse.

Which makes you a minimizer about your maximizing?

Okay, honestly, I will STOP now!

yes i do the same and my t told me the same

lol

I suspect that I minimise mjy problems to others and maximise them to myself.

Or I minimise some problems and maximise others.

This phrase sounds strange coming from a "cranky girl".

I thought one of the privileges of being female is that you don't have to "be a man", "take it like a man", "grow some balls" etc.

Speaking as a man, I find expectations of manliness to be an insult and an imposition.

I didn't know I was privileged to be a female.

I remember being glad I was a girl for this reason. I thought it would be awful to be expected to play sports and fight, etc. Of course, it would be better if men didn't have to do that stuff either.

Everybody has problems. Even if they are bad, somebody always has worse, and someone always has better. Some people have problems that are as bad as yours, or his, or hers, just different. To say to some one "My Problems are Worse Than yours!" is to slap them in the face. They might as well be saying "I am too selfish and concerned with my problems to even think about what hardships you may be facing or feeling!"

I know how it feels to have that said to you, and how it feels to say it. It feels bad both ways. Every one should be there for each other, and should set aside their problems for a second. We need to breathe and try to help each other or we won't ever feel any better. To say something like that will only make both parties feel flustered, frustrated, and worse.

Mcl, I feel sorry for your friend that she thinks her problems are too bad for therapy. I wish she would go and get help.