Am I really special?

Jan 01, 2012, 10:10 PM

Why wont she respond to me... Am I supposed to be sitting with it?

ECHOES · Jan 01, 2012, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

My last email the self fulfilling prophecy....You said no email but as i think you have dumped me or are planning on it. I feel like you are punishing me, just let me know if you are done with me so I can know and relax develop a plan etc. *I need you to contact me , you said face to face only but you text messaged me. I will assume we are done if I do not hear from you. No referral necessary I don't know if I have the balls to try this again. I am sorry for wasting your time and I am sorry for all the after hour contact. This waiting game, sitting with it what ever the hell you call it, your silence is killing me. Right or wrong it's killing me. As of now I assume our professional relationship is over and I will not contact you again . I am sorry, I should have addressed these issues years ago. It's easier to think you aren't ****ed up. I know I am.... Deep down. Partner said to suck it up... I should be happy with what I have because I shouldn't be where I am.... All true , no comfort in that... So I'm lucky. I know I ruined this, I made my bed now I need to lie in it. Self sabotage... Partner said it tonight.... Lol knowing is half the battle is ********. I hope your 2012 is filled with love, peace, health and riches! Thank you T I am sorry if I caused you any grief. Season and reason... Peace be with you

Lola, you are having this conversation all in your head only.
She hasn't responded so you can't know what her response is yet. You don't know. And you can't know what you don't know.
But you have decided her response is going to match exactly what your thoughts are, what is in your mind.
Those are your thoughts and not hers.
So, can you see that you are having this battle with yourself, with your own thoughts?

Jan 01, 2012, 10:13 PM

I know I just need her to respond ... I am dying

TayQuincy · Jan 01, 2012, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

I know I just need her to respond ... I am dying

Lola, she's probably not going to respond until she is back to work. It's a holiday weekend and tomorrow may also be considered holiday (my T is off since new years is on a Sunday, she gets monday holiday). What skills can you use to get yourself through this?

StrawberryFieldsss · Jan 02, 2012, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

My last email the self fulfilling prophecy....You said no email but as i think you have dumped me or are planning on it. I feel like you are punishing me, just let me know if you are done with me so I can know and relax develop a plan etc. *I need you to contact me , you said face to face only but you text messaged me. I will assume we are done if I do not hear from you. No referral necessary I don't know if I have the balls to try this again. I am sorry for wasting your time and I am sorry for all the after hour contact. This waiting game, sitting with it what ever the hell you call it, your silence is killing me. Right or wrong it's killing me. As of now I assume our professional relationship is over and I will not contact you again . I am sorry, I should have addressed these issues years ago. It's easier to think you aren't ****ed up. I know I am.... Deep down. Partner said to suck it up... I should be happy with what I have because I shouldn't be where I am.... All true , no comfort in that... So I'm lucky. I know I ruined this, I made my bed now I need to lie in it. Self sabotage... Partner said it tonight.... Lol knowing is half the battle is ********. I hope your 2012 is filled with love, peace, health and riches! Thank you T I am sorry if I caused you any grief. Season and reason... Peace be with you

awwww. i think the experience will ultimately be a good thing for you. i dont think shes even slightly annoyed with you tbh.

let us know what happens!

Jan 02, 2012, 12:46 PM

Well T had a cancellation and I went, we talked about my melt down, she was mad at me but she opted not to refer or terminate...yet she said we will see how it goes.... Omg I almost jacked that up... Told her about the boards and this thread and about how teachers think all kids are special , it was a good session. She said she may check out the forum, my eyes got wide ... Then i realized shes Technologically challenged... No worries fir me,lol I'm so thankful for T after today I think she does understand how I feel

Jan 02, 2012, 01:47 PM

Why was she mad at you?

Jan 02, 2012, 02:06 PM

Roseleigh ...basically I had a melt down this weekend and blew her smart phone ups via text email and calling.

stopdog · Jan 02, 2012, 04:11 PM

I am glad it sounds like you are feeling better today after meeting with her.

Jan 02, 2012, 04:14 PM

Thank you stopdog and thank you everyone else who helped me through my first melt down of 2012....I'm just glad she kept me.

ECHOES · Jan 02, 2012, 07:19 PM

I hope you and T can take this rich material and learn more about you

cmac13 · Jan 03, 2012, 03:17 PM

My therapist wrote a letter for me to have during the holiday break. It was meant to help me when I was feeling really down about my mother. I have known my therapist for 20 years, she is a mother figure to me. I am wondering if what she wrote includes how she feels about me...ok so what do you make of this...she wrote: "...please try to remember Mom cannot give you what you need and really cannot be pleased no matter how hard you try. Focus your attention on the many people in and out of your family who love you and believe you are special. This will make the holidays more positive and nurturing for you..."

pachyderm · Jan 03, 2012, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmac13

what do you make of this...she wrote: "...please try to remember Mom cannot give you what you need and really cannot be pleased no matter how hard you try. Focus your attention on the many people in and out of your family who love you and believe you are special. This will make the holidays more positive and nurturing for you..."

I make of it that she is telling you that your Mom will not be pleased with you no matter what you do. I suppose this is significant to you, as I assume this is your own Mom she is talking about. It would be more productive for you to pay attention to other people who will respond better to you, and not hope somehow to change your Mom.

stopdog · Jan 03, 2012, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pachyderm

I make of it that she is telling you that your Mom will not be pleased with you no matter what you do. I suppose this is significant to you, as I assume this is your own Mom she is talking about. It would be more productive for you to pay attention to other people who will respond better to you, and not hope somehow to change your Mom.

That is how I read it too. I did not think she was referring to herself when I read it.

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