I was just wondering if y'all feel one can divulge too much. I am thinking I need to pull back, like it's too much... Like I am too honest about everything, let too much little Lola out.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

I was just wondering if y'all feel one can divulge too much. I am thinking I need to pull back, like it's too much... Like I am too honest about everything, let too much little Lola out.

I have been wondering this a lot lately, so I can totally relate. I tell my T everything I am feeling and thinking... in regards to whatever is on my mind. I don't hold back at all. Even if its a question about something he said or his intentions of things he said. I often read to much into things. I am thinking its a self defense kind of thing to want to pull back. I have been feeling like "pulling back" with no real reason. For me it's just scary to be this open and honest continuously with someone.

[BashfulBear]

I often have this fear of revealing too much and explaining particular things in too much detail. So I tend to either avoid certain uncomfortable topics at all cost, or I'll briefly mention them, and then declare that I don't wish to discuss the issue in any more detail (when T decides she wants to know more about it). *looks down shamefully* I've no doubt that this is sabotaging my progress in many respects.

Realistically, I'm not sure that there is actually such a thing as TOO much information when therapy is concerned, and if there was, I'm almost certain your T would tell you! Being completely open and honest about everything is brilliant and completely admirable, in my opinion anyway!

I can't help but wonder. There are some things I could say that I'd feel would be oversharing, and then there are things which I'd be willing to talk about but that I think maybe my T would think oversharing...! I could be wrong, but it's the impression I get sometimes when I mention some things. (Sorry, vague reply is vague! )

I feel like i do, but my T keeps telling me to say MORE.

When I hold back, it is generally about my fears about the topic itself. Once I get past that point, I don't hold back. Sure, there are topics that are more uncomfortable to discuss, but there is a reason for that, so in session having that discussion is probably where I need to be.

That said, there are things that I don't share with T because they have nothing to do with my therapy. I don't subscribe to the idea that you have to tell your T everything about you. Some things just don't really apply I guess. If somehow those things became relevant, I'd talk about them then, but so far that has never happened.

[Joanna_says]

I admire that some of you can share so much with your T. In a way I do, too. At least to me it feels like I made myself already oh so vulnerable with all the things I have said and wrote, yet he keeps on saying I should be more open and share more...
So maybe they might not be interested in all things... like if I ate spinach for lunch... but other than that I think there is no such thing as oversharing...

[rainbow8]

I wonder about this too because I want to tell my T everything I'm feeling and thinking about her and about the therapy relationship. Then there's physical stuff. She would always ask where in your body do you feel something, so I tentatively started talking about things I thought were TMI. For me, I need to know that nothing is off-limits because I feel so much shame about myself.
I don't tell her what I had for breakfast every day or everything I do, but she knows a lot about my daily life also. She says nothing is TMI and I've tested her on that, so I know she means it!

I think the only time you can share too much is if it's non-relevant information that is keeping you from doing the real work of therapy, like talking about your job all the time, or about your pets, or something like that. But I don't think that's the kind of sharing you're talking about, is it?

[stopdog]

I think you can share too much for yourself - I do not think it is that big of a deal with the therapist in terms of too much for them.

I've shared waaaaay too much information with my therapist, I think. He would probably say not enough in some areas, and would probably agree too much in others. LOL! It's been getting harder for me to filter myself with him.

Once, in the context of er, um, certain "difficulties" my husband was having, I was talking about how I thought they were my fault, but then concluded they weren't because I give a wicked b*** j** and STILL he was having trouble. Then thought, oops. My T looked pretty uncomfortable for a second and then just said there was no such thing as a bad b*** j**. I laughed A LOT and then apologized for making him uncomfortable. He said it was his stuff, not mine, and it was important to talk about anything that was causing me distress.

[likewater]

Thanks for making me laugh Mykidsarecool. Most guys have told me the same thing as your T. :-)

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

but then concluded they weren't because I give a wicked b*** j** and STILL he was having trouble.

Well at least you recognize your strengths... lol

[bluemountains]

Sometimes I wish I had kept some of me for just me. I have shared all of the important parts with t, and I feel like there's nothing left. It doesn't feel gratifying and releasing, it feels like parts that I am going to have to answer to each meeting. For example, when I'm depressed (like now) am I being triggered from the past, or is it something else? My childhood doesn't control my every thought!

Bluemountains

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by bluemountains

My childhood doesn't control my every thought!!

Zo.... (stroking grey beard) it zeems you tink not, yesss? Hmmmmmm...... EEEENterrrestink......

[learning1]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think you can share too much for yourself - I do not think it is that big of a deal with the therapist in terms of too much for them.

This is what I think. For example, my t has said he'd be interested to read a diary from when I was a kid. I could give it to him but it doesn't feel like the right thing to do yet. I can't trust him to respect it/me (at least yet) so I don't think giving it to him now would be the right thing to do. I want him to understand me better before I give him a chance to misinterpret something as personal as my diary.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it as far as your t is concerned if you share everything. It's your t's job and they're not going to be hurt or think it's inappropriate toward them if you share things.

I do remember hearing that if a client spills their guts right away, it might make the therapist wonder about the client's boundaries or self confidence. But it doesn't mean the client did something bad, just that the therapist might be able to help if that causes problems for the client in real life.

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

Zo.... (stroking grey beard) it zeems you tink not, yesss? Hmmmmmm...... EEEENterrrestink......

You know my t! (the female version anyway!)

[rainbow_rose]

i love talking and sharing with my therapist - if i had the time/money, I'd share more. the more I share, the more she knows me ... and the more she knows me, the better she can help me. feels like a win/win.

[CantExplain]

You're not oversharing unless your T tells you so.
Mine never has.

[wheeler]

I positive my T doesn't think I 'over share', but I certainly felt like I did the other day. It had to do with dreams I've been having and when I blurted them out I didn't really think about it. Only later on did I realize that the dreams were probably about her! It's been eating me up ever since.

[Lexi232]

I wonder about this too... and what comes when/if you've shared it all.. do you just sit there blinking and eachother blankly? What comes after that?

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Lexi232

I wonder about this too... and what comes when/if you've shared it all.. do you just sit there blinking and eachother blankly? What comes after that?

that's when the real work begins...

once you have figured out where the wind is coming from,
you start figuring out where it is taking you.
then you decide whether you want to just keep going there, or use your own power to get to better places.

Originally Posted by wheeler

I positive my T doesn't think I 'over share', but I certainly felt like I did the other day. It had to do with dreams I've been having and when I blurted them out I didn't really think about it. Only later on did I realize that the dreams were probably about her! It's been eating me up ever since.

Actually, this is a good thing! My T loves dreams because he says they help him to understand where I am "with all this", as he says. And a whole bunch of them are about him. I'm embarrassed, but he isn't, and I'm sure your T isn't either. Therapy is/can be a powerful experience, and it's normal that we have dreams about our T. If this is really bothering you, why not bring it up at your next session if you think it will make you feel better?