Not to hijack the "validating helplessness" thread, I wondered what do posters expect/want when they post?

I post from my mobile most times so don't see the hug or thanks button and certainly do not wish for that, I am not looking for friendship and reply to posts not posters. I mainly am looking for like minded responses/engagement. I don't need anyone to validate my posts and do not need anyone to thank me if I reply to their posts. But reading some replys from that other thread I can see where some would get frustrated if they attach certain desires to their being here.

I wouldn't ignore someone because they don't reply to my posts because I barely remember who replys only remember the content.

[Trippin2.0]

I also access PC via mobile, so I don't get 'thanks' or 'hugs' button responses, in answer to your question. I make a point of asking for what I need, cos people can't smell it...

Wether I need support,advice, to hear that I'm not alone, if someone's been there before, encouragement. Or sometimes I just need to vent, and these posts I don't expect any replies on, but I've made some great friends here,so even those threads have replies.
I think it's important to communicate our specific needs.

[pachyderm]

I mostly post, it turns out when I examine it, in an attempt to learn better what I think! But of course () I always want others to approve of my attempts, and that doesn't always happen. I use Thanks on the posts of others because they have said something that I agree with or they present a new thought that seems valuable to me. But I am not consistent in the use of Thanks or Hugs, or even reading posts in general, so anyone who wants my approval had better take my fallibility into consideration!

[venusss]

sometimes it's because posting is therapeutic. sometimes I look for answers.... sometimes i know it shall pass but need to get it out.

sometimes I have a point to make and want to share with others and think it may be contributive to some.

so mostly these two reasons.

I don't think everyone is able to communicate what they need. WHen I look back at the person I was when I first came online 9yrs ago, I was bleeding (emotionally) all over the internet. Obviously those needs have been met now in therapy, so I think we have to think about where abouts someone is on their own recovery journey, as to how much self awareness they have and their ablity to expresss their needs.

[stopdog]

I usually start a thread when I am feeling frustrated or confused. I am often looking for others to share their experience with me. Other times I find it useful to just rant about this thing I find so horrible and baffling and get some reassurance. Still others it is to try and express something that I want to ultimately tell the t, but need (for me not the t) to have a better handle on it first. Writing here and responding to posters can help me clarify. Sometimes I am amused (at other times frustrated) by how many times on this board I am told to just quit when usually I am trying to figure out how to keep going.

[granite1]

when i first came here i wasn't sure what i was looking for,or wanted.but now i feel i look for encurragement when it is dificult for me to move foward in my T.and yes validation of my feelings.a place that i can have my stuff be heard.a place that i am able to also give of myself ,maybe not perfectally but genuinely.i cherish every responce i get,and every hug and thank you.i hope that someday i will be able to be as helpful to others as people here have been to me.this is what i get from posting and it is addicting in a good way.

[sittingatwatersedge]

not in any particular order

to offer a helping hand if I can (or think I can);
to lighten the load by making people smile if possible;
to ask questions to resolve my doubts, fears, & occasionally curiosity
to get help with alternative viewpoints to things I only see one way
to congratulate or say my admiration for courage & growth in spite of obstacles
to feel myself less alone on a strange and difficult path
to opine on this weird process of therapy
and any number of other things.

since the thread is "what do you want from posting" - when I start a thread asking a question, it's because I want people to respond to that question... when the discussion gets hijacked, yes even if unintentionally (which happens very often & certainly not just to me), the original question gets obscured, or often lost entirely, and I find that very frustrating. If one or two people want to go down a related path, it's not hard to start a new thread, it would be nice if people could do that a little more often. just my $0.02

I look at PC as a come and go fish tank ... Like a giant board room where people with a common thread connect , learn , recognize and teach themselves and each other how therapy works... The question I had when this whole process started , no book or pod cast or article could even give me a true idea ... But by reading these boards I was able to see how is WASN'T supposed to be and got a better idea of what is "typical" amoung like minded people. The boards support me when I need it and allow me to share what I am learning on my journey to those who are just starting out, they also help me to grow in my own journey as a sounding board of sanity, people in RL may understand but you really dont "know" until you have bought that T shirt!
Side note I can't help thinking about the sea turtle in Finding Nemo floating on the Atlantic current... We are all on the same ride!

I started a new thread because I felt this is the language of this forum, I personally don't feel the need for someone to take a thread I may start and make another for fear of hijacking as threads do grow and alter away from the original posters first post and that I see as a natural and not a bad thing. But as I say, I do it because I have witnessed some get upset over this, I think its just another example of wanting a need met and if the thread looses its way a bit that can leave the op feeling unacknowledged/abandoned, but I see as a positive, that something that was started was worthy of creating something bigger than "I".

Earthmamma if I offended you in any way I am sorry. After I posted, I realized I really got side tracked. And I hadn't read the aforementioned thread yet. Since then i have read it and i realize I have posted my response in the wrong thread. I do apologize.

[rainbow8]

When I start a thread I want to be heard, supported, and validated. I probably want that more than I want opinions even when I ask for them, because opinions confuse me. I want to be understood, and I find that I usually am understood here. I also have a need to repeat my story, over and over, and writing is a way to unburden myself. I feel less alone when I post here, and I've found comfort in knowing that whatever issue I have, I'm not the only one with that issue.

I don't like when my threads get hijacked and I feel rejected when that happens. I also don't like when my threads leave page 1. I admit I often post to bump them up. I know I have to learn to accept that the world doesn't revolve around me, my therapy, and my threads.

I like to post in others' threads because I want to be helpful and because I care about them. I have developed relationships with a lot of you and I care very much what happens to you. I think that my experience in therapy can be helpful to others, and I feel good when I get positive feedback that I helped.

Thanks for this thread, earthmamma.

Lola, I'm confused. You haven't offended me, why do you say that? I don't need anyone to start a new thread or have to worry about posting in a thread.

[pbutton]

I post because it helps me get my thoughts in order. I also enjoy being introduced to additional viewpoints and new ways of looking at my struggles.

I think my particular type of attachment issue isn't quite as well-represented on this forum. If I want to read more about it, I need to start the discussion.

[mcl6136]

I'm a major hijacker; on the other hand, I don't care if my posts get hijacked.

Because I hope I'm fascinating (I'm working on this in therapy), I like it when my posts get lots of response (I don't count the responses, but I do feel that when I post, and nothing happens, I internalize that). I'm also working on THAT in therapy.

The truth is, although I threaten to leave therapy (I've tried not to threaten to leave this board....) I will be in therapy forever

Getting back to the matters at hand:

*I post because the therapy journey can be long and lonely (see above).
*I post because my goes out to those along the way
*I post to acknowledge things that need to go somewhere or the energy gets stuck
*I post because my day job can be infuriating and I need something to do when boss is over shoulder
*I post because I find writing a way of knowing
*I post as a way to register a "minority opinion" that I think might offer alternatives
*I post because I feel that I'm learning from those who post too

Originally Posted by mcl6136

I'm a major hijacker; on the other hand, I don't care if my posts get hijacked.

Because I hope I'm fascinating (I'm working on this in therapy), I like it when my posts get lots of response (I don't count the responses, but I do feel that when I post, and nothing happens, I internalize that). I'm also working on THAT in therapy.

The truth is, although I threaten to leave therapy (I've tried not to threaten to leave this board....) I will be in therapy forever

Getting back to the matters at hand:

*I post because the therapy journey can be long and lonely (see above).
*I post because my goes out to those along the way
*I post to acknowledge things that need to go somewhere or the energy gets stuck
*I post because my day job can be infuriating and I need something to do when boss is over shoulder
*I post because I find writing a way of knowing
*I post as a way to register a "minority opinion" that I think might offer alternatives
*I post because I feel that I'm learning from those who post too

I can't understand why others are bothered by hijacking, even though I don't see as hijacking, thats a serious control issue lol. infact I'm going to hijack my own thread and talk about the weather, f**k me its cold

[sunrise]

I'm pretty easygoing with what type of responses I want from people. I will take what they would like to give or are able to offer. I do like dialogue. But I also appreciate encouragement, hugs, thanks, the heart smileys, etc. I like when people share their own experiences from therapy and compare them to mine. I learn something. There are some people who can be critical and come off as harsh. There are others who can be critical but phrase it in a positive and polite way that makes it easier for me to accept. I prefer the latter method. I learn from my own internal responses to people's posts what may or may not be helpful in posts and this helps my own posts. There are some people I respond to and they don't acknowledge or respond to what I say, over the course of a number of threads. If this happens repeatedly with the same poster, I learn they aren't really getting anything from my responses and so I desist. That's OK!

I get confused when people make posts and specifically ask for people's opinions and ideas and then later they post that they really just wanted people to agree with them and to feel validated. Sometimes I tread carefully and don't say much until I know the person and if they truly want people to respond to the questions they ask. Otherwise a hug seems safer. Or a "hang in there" comment. Or encouragement to see their therapist.

ETA: I also don't care if my threads get hijacked. It means my post stimulated some good discussion, even if I am not part of it. I am OK with that!

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

*I post because I find writing a way of knowing

Yes, good one! Me too.

[stopdog]

I post in other people's threads if I think I have something relevant to say, even if it is different from the approach of others. Sometimes I feel like a martian on here because some of my views/opinion/approach seem so radically different from most (there are a couple of people I can identify with) but I really like knowing about all the different ways and struggles people have.

I think it is possible (for me) to start a post thinking I want one thing and having that thing morph or naturally progress into something else. OR sometimes I post for some reason but it strikes a chord in others that leads the thread elsewhere - which is okay with me. If that happens I can always start another thread and try again.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I post in other people's threads if I think I have something relevant to say, even if it is different from the approach of others. Sometimes I feel like a martian on here because some of my views/opinion/approach seem so radically different from most (there are a couple of people I can identify with) but I really like knowing about all the different ways and struggles people have.

I think it is possible (for me) to start a post thinking I want one thing and having that thing morph or naturally progress into something else. OR sometimes I post for some reason but it strikes a chord in others that leads the thread elsewhere - which is okay with me. If that happens I can always start another thread and try again.

sometimes I feel like a Klingon. But then again, feeling that way has stretched me too...lots of growth and I value your "minority opinion!"

[likewater]

I post so i dont feel so alone.

[learning1]

What is a Klingon? I know it's from Startrek, right? But what are they like?

There are a few reasons why I post...

-To offer support
-To offer my input/advice when it is requested
-To welcome new members
-To receive support and/or input & advice when I ask
-To learn new things...for example, I'll sometimes create threads in the Pets section to learn more about the behaviour of my puppy, Zeppelin. Always interesting to learn something new!
-Occasionally, to post something I find interesting (occasionally post a song I really like in the music section, for example)

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I post in other people's threads if I think I have something relevant to say, even if it is different from the approach of others.

Sometimes I think I am more likely to post if what I have to say is different. I figure if the poster has already heard something similar to what I think from several other people, then I don't need to basically repeat what has been said. But if I have a somewhat different spin on something, I am more apt to post. There are times when most everyone has posted the same thing and it turns out I think quite differently. That makes me feel kind of alienated, like wow, I so don't agree, I so don't fit in here. I know that's fallacious, though. There are many sorts of people here with different views.

I post therefore I AM!:head scratch: