how do u know when ur successfully finished with therapy?

Has anybody here been finished with therapy? Could be long term temporary finished, or permanently, or you were finished for a long time and temporarily went back, or whatever. How did you know when you accomplished "enough" in therapy? Did your t suggest finishing or did you decide? Generally people's goals change during therapy, I think, so I'm not looking for an answer as specific as checking off a list of goals. But my "goal" is getting rid of depression, and I'm not sure how I'll know when I've done enough.

It seems like my therapy is helping some and I don't know if it can help more. It doesn't seem like I should base the decision on reaching external accomplishments in life, like getting a new job or getting into another relationship, but I'm not sure. It doesn't seem like I can depend on my t's judgement for this because he has never said he thought I should be in therapy at all. (When I asked, he said he can't answer that for me.) I guess part of the reason I'm thinking about it is because it seems like he might think my issues are not very important and if I'd just stop worrying and coming to therapy, then we'd both be better off . I'm not planning to quit suddenly yet, just thinking ahead. I'm not sure about any of this, so looking for feedback. thanx

I don't have any advice, but I often think this as well.

I've been in therapy twice before this round.

First round (two years of hardcore CBT/DBT), I learned all the skills she could teach me. We both knew I was done because my only issue revolved around one decision I had to make that involved one other person. I was willing to make the decision, the other person involved was not.

Second round (9 months of TA/AIT/Redecision therapy), for the last two months all we talked about was my relationship with the boss I had at the time. This particular T did not know what to do about it other than tell me to find another job or wait her out. I decided I was done.

I did not attach to either therapist and did not deal with any deeply-rooted past issues like I am now; but I felt much better after each round.

I read a lot of books on this and still no useful information on how to know when one is or finished or simply should stop because it has gotten as good as it can be. Because this is not a real science and there is no way to measure progress by any objective means, it depends upon one's subjective sense of whether one has spent enough time and money on therapy and is ready to spend those resources on something else.

I read a book by jack and or mary kelly novick about termination, to try to figure out my path, ya know?, but I got upset and hid it somewhere! I should probably go look for it, i'm feeling more secure and do need to take more action. which I am doing, but in small steps.

After 20 yrs i have no clue how or why in regards to stopping! He will probably die before I end therapy.

CYNICAL RESPONSE (MIGHT BE BETTER NOT TO READ)

On second thoughts that joke is in poor taste, might be triggering, and in some cases it's literally true.

So I won't post it.

Soooo curious now!!! Do tell!

I knew I was done with therapy with my first therapist when she wasn't helping me anymore. We couldn't go further. I think that's a good landmark, at least for me. Later I went to see a different therapist and I am still with him, several years later. He is still helping me, I am still learning, so I stay. I also went to see a family therapist with my daughter and after about a year, we stopped. We really weren't going further and we had learned some things and it seemed like enough. We were ready to take what we learned and proceed all on our own. I feel what's common in all three cases is the sense of still growing and learning vs. "we've learned all we can or all that we're willing to from this person."

I've kind of been through three phases of therapy. My first was during college. I saw the therapist for about three years I guess dealing with dealing with the initial reveal to my parents and general getting through college kind of stuff. I was able to stop therapy before I graduated as that phase of my life was over and I was moving on into "adulthood" and the job world.

I did not go back into therapy for almost a decade. At that point, my first son was reaching an age, although I didn't realize it at the time, that I was initially abused and it set off memories and depression. I worked through that period in my life and stopped therapy when I became pregnant with our second child. Again, I was moving onto a different phase in my life and was able to stop therapy while I moved forward.

I went another decade plus a few years before I decided to start therapy again. That's where I am now. I'm not sure when this phase of therapy will end, but I suspect that it will. The complicating factor this time is that the depression has become more cyclical and chronic than it was when I was younger. The bipolar issues have really kept me having to fight this somewhat on a medical level. It will come and I'll know it when it does. It's always just been a sense that I'm moving into a different phase in my life. I'm hoping that phase will come soon.

Am I naive in thinking if we are asking the question and don't have the answer, then there is still something to work on with T?

???Discussion reminds me of the old, old commercial-"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?"
Bluemountains

I'm only 19 but I've stopped therapy once and then started again and haven't stopped for about 6 years even though there's been different Ts during that time.

when I first stopped it was the T who said that she didn't think she needed to see me anymore unless I wanted to. but I was only about 9 at the time and it was only really to help with the loss of my dad.

it wasn't till I was about 12 that the MH issues became issues.

I think that theT should at least help you work out if your ready..

That can be a difficult mark to spot, though.

I felt I wasn't being helped for two solid months, but it turned out I was just stalled.

Good point!

I asked my T, "How will I know?"
She said, "You will know."