[mcl6136]

All,

I've been trying to strike a balance point between being so overly fragile that I react in REALLY OUTSIZED ways to things.....

.....and tuffing things out in a way that denies my feelings at all and numbs me out.

I've been trying to strike that balance in life, in therapy, and on this board. With limited success, I might add.

Am I alone?

Sometimes i think....my problems are trivial! ...gosh nothing's wrong and I must quit therapy forthwith. Other times, the sky is falling and I will require the talking cure indefinitely.

Kinda hard to strike that balance.

[Chopin99]

Just know that you are NOT alone. I tend to do the same...think of my feelings and fall apart or bury them and tough it out. I'd love to find a middle ground!

Nah, I'm ALL about the 'fragility' - T in fact used that VERY word in a recent email to me, *sniffle* It's not fair, I want to be bad@$$!

[mcl6136]

Want to be a bad...?

Why???

better to know whether you're going to wear the motorcycle boots or the girly ones with the ruffles when you wake up in the morning!

Originally Posted by mcl6136

Want to be a bad...?

Why???

better to know whether you're going to wear the motorcycle boots or the girly ones with the ruffles when you wake up in the morning!

Yes, but, see, I WANT to wear the motorcycle boots! They go better with my 'image'!

[pbutton]

I can relate. I'm either totally unfazed and don't even understand something is wrong or I go all bezerk and get MASSIVELY angry like someone is trying to light me on fire. I have no middle ground.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

wear the motorcycle boots or the girly ones with the ruffles when you wake up in the morning!

motorcycle boots, with a ruffly skirt - EZ PZ!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by hankster

motorcycle boots, with a ruffly skirt - EZ PZ!

Very Japanese!

[purple_fins]

I can relate mcl

I sometimes have extremely fragile "skin" and other times... I dont' feel a thing and just am numb. People have told me-- "holy canoli! if that happened to me I'd be livid/hurt/upset"... and with the "fragile skin" i get comments like-- "gawd, what's the big deal?"

it's difficult to know what to feel....

fins

It's weird, I can go for fairly long periods with no real responses to even extreme provocations (like MONTHS). Then my husband will ignore me or interrupt me that ONE time too many and will have a SCREAMING, crying melt down.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

All,


Sometimes i think....my problems are trivial! ...gosh nothing's wrong and I must quit therapy forthwith. Other times, the sky is falling and I will require the talking cure indefinitely.

Kinda hard to strike that balance.

Sometimes I know my week (if not longer) would go a lot better without therapy. I might have the same sense of just feeling bad, but at least I would not be paying a stranger to inflict it on purpose and intensely.

And I really like the use of forthwith in that sentence. The only thing that would have made it better is the use of Hence too. (I am not being sarcastic - I really enjoyed the sentence)

[jazzy123456]

wow, struggling with this is SOOO human. You are soooo not alone! yep. I like motorcycles but, deep inside I probably still have a tricycle with training wheels.... been trying to get those training wheels off for a while now but, you know... its hard. lol.

How the heck do you find that middle ground? I wouldn't know.
--- i am like a seesaw-- one strong emotion to another less, less, barely any emotion.

you see.. we can learn a lot on a seesaw, even when we're on both sides....

we don't necessarily have to be in the middle of the seesaw all of the time to grow as a person... the seesaw wouldn't be interesting now would it?

However, this is probably a bad analogy... cus this encourages us to go to those extremes... I'm just saying.. the only way to learn is to play... and allow ourselves to change and grow ...

I'm with stopdog in enjoying your use of language. I'm weird that way. I once accepted a date with a guy I met at a party because he was the only there other than me using multi-syllable words. [Well, once you eliminated "nuh-uh!" and "uh-huh" from the list of what can be considered multi-syllable.]

[SoupDragon]

My T talks in terms of a pendulum, either we want to go towards something or pull away from it. My pendulum swings pretty quickly and I go to extremes (that "all or nothing" stuff), love / hate, full / empty etc. So I think the trick is to get it swinging slower so that the positive to negatives are not so extreme (don't ask me how to do this ) - I think it is just about becoming more aware and noticing ourselves.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Sometimes I know my week (if not longer) would go a lot better without therapy. I might have the same sense of just feeling bad, but at least I would not be paying a stranger to inflict it on purpose and intensely.

And I really like the use of forthwith in that sentence. The only thing that would have made it better is the use of Hence too. (I am not being sarcastic - I really enjoyed the sentence)

Thus my thank yous! !

[unaluna]

well now you made me look up forthwith, because I would have said posthaste and I didn't know why I would make that choice. so fyi, in middle english, forthwith had the connotation of "along with" something else, as well as immediately. Like as soon as a crime was discovered, off with his head forthwith

[sittingatwatersedge]

methinks you could have used "anon", forsooth

[unaluna]

: rofl : : rofl :

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by hankster

well now you made me look up forthwith, because I would have said posthaste and I didn't know why I would make that choice. so fyi, in middle english, forthwith had the connotation of "along with" something else, as well as immediately. Like as soon as a crime was discovered, off with his head forthwith

I'll get back to you overmorrow.

Yes I also 'swing' between being overwhelmed by every tiny thing and minimising everything. The thing is the fragility happens when I'm alone, usually (it's not 'allowed' to be seen by others), and the minimising happens all the time. Sometimes I 'slip up' in therapy and T sees a hint of fragility with the minimising at the same time - "yes T, I realise that I'm sobbing my eyes out, but it really is *NO*BIG*DEAL*, just ignore the silly crying lady and go about your business lalala". Usually though he just thinks I get on with everything - "I'm surprised that you said _ was overwhelming; you always seem so together!" Well duh T, that's my pattern!

PS: also loving the "hence" and "forthwith" additions to the thread

*Willow*