[sjkero]

i think i just realized why i miss my t the most on the weekends (keep in mind i have horrible abandonment issues, and i have an unrealistic fear that she's going to quit her private practice for no reason, leaving me high and dry).

during the week i miss her so much because i think about all of the other clients she sees and how she refocuses her attention on them when she is with them and inevitably puts me on the back burner until i see her again, when i'd rather she think about me all of the time so i feel close to her

on the weekends, not only do i not get to see her, but she's not even a t!! she's a normal person, hanging with her husband and daughter, doing normal things. the separation from her feels even worse!!! is that crazy weird or what?

I TOTALLY get this.

During the week, I kind of know where he is. He's in his office, he's seeing clients. It makes me feel like I could get to him if I really needed to.

During the weekend, *poof* he's gone. I can't picture him as well, because I don't know what he's DOING. It just makes him feel farther away.

It makes weekends hard sometimes.

[sjkero]

Originally Posted by treehouse

I TOTALLY get this.

During the week, I kind of know where he is. He's in his office, he's seeing clients. It makes me feel like I could get to him if I really needed to.

During the weekend, *poof* he's gone. I can't picture him as well, because I don't know what he's DOING. It just makes him feel farther away.

It makes weekends hard sometimes.

yes, exactly! you said it better than i did... it's the whole "office vs. non-office" thing... it really messes with me!

[delicatefade26]

Ohh I so get this-I too have severe abandonment issues-and even though I know on the weekends he is spending time with his family, and I know on Sundays he always go to church and has a dinner with his extended family...on the weekends I know that he doesn't check his email...actually today I sent him an email that he probably won't get until Monday and that sends me into a panic...I *irrationally* think that he is annoyed with me and he won't get back to me...and I hate that I don't have the option of calling or connecting at all with him on weekends...I had a session with him on a Saturday once and it was amazing...woah I had never thought about this before....interesting

[vanessaG]

Oh thank god for this post cause I thought I was really losin it!!
I always tell him on Fridays I hate that session & I don't want it to be too serious. Abuse I HATe the weekends. Can't get a hold of him, I'm all alone with these thought since whatever we talk about in session ruminates in my mind foreverrrr!

I know he goes away to his house...probably is having a great old time drinking wine & smoking cigars :/. I wish he was HERE....where I could find him and KNoW he's doing T stuff.

[Onward2wards]

sjkero:

This way of looking at it may help. When your T is helping you and focused on your issues, her other clients may be feeling similarly to how you feel when she has to be attentive to other people. The secret is to learn to share people without constantly anticipating being left high and dry (much easier said than done, I know).

I hope you aren't feeling guilty about your emotional reactions - given past expectations they are logical in their own way. You're not crazy weird, you have fears due to abandonment as you said.

[Nightlight]

Well my T has mentioned that she doesn't like Fridays because it's so long before she's back at work again (and she loves her job).

I feel far away from her all the time and can't hold onto the connection at all. Weekdays and weekends are equally hard for me

Eventually you will hold onto enought of the relationship for it to be useful for you. Missing and wondering are the first steps toward this.

[granite1]

i tend to be like nightlight these days .i just miss my T weekdays weekends it is all the same and it is strange and i don't like it one bit i hate missing her.it makes me feel to vulnerable