[FourRedheads]

Hi everyone. I'm here most days, but find it very difficult to post. It's safer somehow to be silent. Sorry I'm not supportive.

Anyway. Things are difficult right now. I have a strong feeling/need to connect with T between sessions. Like I am not able to hold on to that connection for a week. I worry she is angry with me, doesn't like me. So I need to call to hear her voice and know that she is there and it's okay. I've called once between sessions several times and she seems okay with this. She has told me I can call. Why is this so hard? I can't keep her in my head. Ugh...I feel like a big loser. She must hate me. Thanks for listening.

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by FourRedheads

Hi everyone. I'm here most days, but find it very difficult to post. It's safer somehow to be silent. Sorry I'm not supportive.

Anyway. Things are difficult right now. I have a strong feeling/need to connect with T between sessions. Like I am not able to hold on to that connection for a week. I worry she is angry with me, doesn't like me. So I need to call to hear her voice and know that she is there and it's okay. I've called once between sessions several times and she seems okay with this. She has told me I can call. Why is this so hard? I can't keep her in my head. Ugh...I feel like a big loser. She must hate me. Thanks for listening.

Hello Four...don't worry about being quiet, it took a while for me to post also. If your T has said you can call her, call!! I have had the same issues with not being able to hold on to the connection. In fact, this week is the first week I have been able to hold on to it (so far) and I can't tell you how I'm doing it. It just is.

Let me reassure you. You are not a loser. T doesn't hate you. She wouldn't offer to let you call if she did not want you to do so.

[delicatefade26]

(((FourRedheads))) I was just thinking about you last evening when I was on here-it's okay that you have been quiet-especially if it's safer...I agree with Chopin if T offered the calling she means it-and does not hate ya...and you are not a loser-it's okay to want that connection especially when it seems so difficult to hold onto in between sessions...I'll be thinking of ya!! Keep coming here even in this time of quiet : )

[anilam]

I am quiet too- should rename myself the lurker:-) Nice to know I am not the only one.
Ppl here are great though and can give you some valid advice/support. So its great that you have been able to reach out.
I don't see whats wrong with wanting to feel connection with you T. Have you tried texting/mailing T? That way T can get to you when she/he has time.

Just a thought...

[Hope-Full]

Hi There,

I can very much relate to needing that connection between sessions. My T does not do e-mail or text, and sometimes I just want to hold on to something! My T does encourage me to call and listen to the voicemail message if I need to hear that reassuring voice. I do not need to leave a message, but I've been encouraged to do so.

It took me a long, long, LONG, time to feel comfortable listing to T's voicemail and hanging up. It took me even longer to be comfortable leaving T a message. Now that I've been doing it though it is definitely helpful. T always acknowledges any message I leave at my next appointment. Even when T is away I'm encouraged to call and listen to the voicemail if I need to connect, and thankfully that has gotten a little easier!

The other thing I do quite frequently is write letters to T. Rarely do I share them, but just the act of writing a "Dear T" letter helps a lot.

[skycastle]

I am having similiar issues, I think! My therapist told me I could call if I was having problems with some new exercises she gave me over the weekend. WELLLL... I'm having issues but I'm not sure how helpful it would be to talk to her about them or what she would say. I'm really sensitive and don't want to call if it means I'm going to feel rejected. Also, I really want to connect with her too and I'm worried I'm just making things up so that I can talk to her. Sigh. That's supposed to be HER job to figure out!

Originally Posted by FourRedheads

Hi everyone. I'm here most days, but find it very difficult to post. It's safer somehow to be silent. Sorry I'm not supportive.

Anyway. Things are difficult right now. I have a strong feeling/need to connect with T between sessions. Like I am not able to hold on to that connection for a week. I worry she is angry with me, doesn't like me. So I need to call to hear her voice and know that she is there and it's okay. I've called once between sessions several times and she seems okay with this. She has told me I can call. Why is this so hard? I can't keep her in my head. Ugh...I feel like a big loser. She must hate me. Thanks for listening.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by FourRedheads

Hi everyone. I'm here most days, but find it very difficult to post. It's safer somehow to be silent. Sorry I'm not supportive.

I remember a line from The Woman in White:

"Silence is safe and we have need of safety in this house."