[bazza12]

So this past weekend was one of the worst weekends I've ever had. I wish I could explain more of what happened, but I really just can't. It's too much/long/complicated to type all out. I just haven't ever been this overwhelmed in a long time and I really have no idea how to handle these emotions. I put up a front for my friends and family so that they see me as a really strong, reliable person they can come to, but every time I get a second to myself I'm sobbing. Then someone will end up walking in the room or whatever, and I can gather myself up so that no one knows anything's wrong. But. I don't know. Even little things are getting under my skin, that normally wouldn't and I don't know. I just really don't know what to do. Sorry this post is so repetitive.

I thought of calling my T this morning because I couldn't stop crying (which, by the way, I DON'T do. So that freaked me out, in and of itself.) but then I thought I should be able to hold out until Thursday night when I see him. And I got myself together before I had to work, but even at work I was tearing up a few times and thought I was going to lose it again in the car. And then what crossed my mind is that, on Thursday when my T asks how the week was, I'll most likely lose it again and I don't want that to happen at all. And now I want to cancel, even though I need his help with this. And then I was thinking, that my T will think I'm too much trouble and tell me I need more help or something. Ahhh, what do I do?! I'm totally backing out of going now..

[pbutton]

Hang in there. I really hope you are able to take it to T and let T help you.

[unaluna]

Are you on meds? I would call T or your pdoc. Some years ago, I was on some meds, but going thru a VERY stressful time, where if I literally took a step, I started crying. The pdoc temporarily added a med, and I got thru it. You are NOT too much trouble, this is their job, it's what they live for! Well, maybe not exactly, but they can help you only if you let them.

[healed84]

Don't give up.. share with your T during your session on Thursday, tell T what you are feeling, it will be helpful!!!

[precious things]

I think it's very important that you try and be as open and honest about how you are feeling with your T. You spend so much energy putting on a brave front for the world that therapy should be a space that is about YOU...and what YOU are feeling...tears and all.

[bazza12]

Originally Posted by hankster

Are you on meds? I would call T or your pdoc. Some years ago, I was on some meds, but going thru a VERY stressful time, where if I literally took a step, I started crying. The pdoc temporarily added a med, and I got thru it. You are NOT too much trouble, this is their job, it's what they live for! Well, maybe not exactly, but they can help you only if you let them.

No, I'm not on any medicine. The weekend was just riddled with problems because of two big things that happened, so I'm guessing that's why I was crying since I haven't really processed anything. And today, I don't feel like crying, but I feel like puking. Everywhere. I think my anxiety is just changing forms........fun stuff........

[vanessaG]

I think you should def see your t and let t know what is goin on. I don't think your too much for your T, they have seen it all...I know it's hard, (I'm in the same boat) but if you open up and let T know what happened...T will be able to help you better

I hope you feel better soon . (((((hugs)))))

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by bazza12

And then what crossed my mind is that, on Thursday when my T asks how the week was, I'll most likely lose it again and I don't want that to happen at all. And now I want to cancel, even though I need his help with this. And then I was thinking, that my T will think I'm too much trouble and tell me I need more help or something. Ahhh, what do I do?! I'm totally backing out of going now..

I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable crying in front of your therapist. I find that a very safe place to do my crying.

It is sad that our society doesn't allow crying. That's half the problem right there. That's why therapists make so much money!

I hope you don't mind if I trot out my standard questions:
* Are you getting enough sleep?
* Could you take a day off?

One last idea: if you can't cry at home and you can't see your T, churches are good places to cry in.