Nervous/embarrassed about session tomorrow

I'm nervous about my session tomorrow so I'm starting another thread. I want to talk about something very embarrassing to me. I don't know why I'm obsessing about this subject so much. I know my T accepts me and it's okay to talk about anything, but I hate feeling embarrassed in my session. I hate blushing and/or sweating, and having to run to the bathroom because I'm anxious. I almost wish she'd cancel tomorrow, which is so unlike me! I'd be miserable but I'm miserable thinking about these issues again too. I can't take a break and switch to something else either, because this stuff is on my mind.

For all my apparent bravery in my threads and in talking to my T about anything, I'm really so shy. I will talk to her; I know that, but how do I stop from being so embarrassed? We do breathing first but last week I couldn't relax even with that! I keep asking her if it's okay to talk about whatever it is and she says yes, of course. I believe her and I trust her. Then, why is it so hard?

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I wish I knew how not to get embarrassed.. I think it is a part of life, some people blush when talking about specific things, others don't. I guess my best advice would be doing the breathing, focus on your T and let the blushing just happen if it happens, but let your words come!! You are an inspiration! I don't worry about the blushing, b/c I can't even get out the details that I am most ashamed of. Good for you, for wanting to get it all out there!! It will all work out.

Remember your T is there to help you. I know it might be difficult for you, but they just want to be helpful. They've trained for this. Once it's over and you get all your cards on the table, you'll feel better.

Hang in there hun and good luck.

Thanks, rainbow_rose, healed, and doggie. I don't want to goof up tomorrow. Last week I had to call my T after the session because I didn't tell her something. Better to endure the torture of embarrassment in the session than to leave with something I want to tell her unsaid! If onlyI can remember that tomorrow during my session!

Rainbow, can you write it down and take it with you so you don't forget all the important things you want to say in session?

Embarrassment quit tormenting me when I started to truly believe that it is okay to be embarrassed.

I HATE blushing. Ugh! It's a positive feedback loop where you start out embarrassed for one reason, so you blush, then you get embarrassed about blushing.

Sometimes it helps me to actually say, "This is so embarrassing." I don't really know why.

Maybe you could ask to face away from her while you're saying it? Or cover your face? Not sure if you're that kind of embarrassed . I ask because in my time lying on the couch Freud-style, that was one advantage... not having to look at my T at ALL when talking about the embarrassing stuff.

Hi Rainbow,
Just a (seemingly) odd solution,I read from a psychiatrist.
When you go into Thp.tell her you are now going to show her how
GOOD A BLUSHER YOU ARE!And how many times you can notch up
going to the toilet,plus how much you can saturate your blouse with
sweat! It is called REVERSE psychology,you deliberately try to create
what you are afraid to create.If you can,phone her and tell her your
plan,and GO FOR IT! What's to lose? "Now,Ms.let me show you my
reddest blush EVER!" Yeah,bet you can't!! Get it?
Be Of Good Courage,
BLUEDOVE.

What if you accept your embarrassment? Some things are embarrassing, yes.
I don't know how to not have a real and honest reaction like embarrassment

Saying it again, rainbow: I admire your courage! The thought of embarrassment stops most of us in our tracks. You don't let that happen

Rainbow i will be keeping you close.

I also see T tomorrow and plan to talk about an embarrassing subject. The last time I talked about it, I typed it out and read it to her. I told her before I read it that I was NOT going to look at her. So I read it and I didn't look at her. I didn't look at her as she talked about it, but she said some of the sweetest things to me in response. I wish I could have looked at her to see her face as she said those things.

Let's be brave together tomorrow, rainbow.

lost in termination: I did write it down. Thank you!

Sannah: Yeah, I sort of ignored my blushing today.

Sally Brown: thanks. I tried looking at my T but I couldn't so I closed my eyes and that was better.

BLUEDOVE: Thanks! interesting idea. I did comment to my T that I was blushing and was embarrassed. That helped though it wasn't exactly what you said. Maybe I'll try it next time!

ECHOES: Thanks. Yes, I kept telling T I was embarrassed.

SAWE: thank you!

Chopin: I did it! Was your session earlier today, or on Wednesday? thanks.

I want to start a new thread about my session now.