heart is racing

My heart is just racing. I am panicking. I just called the cops on my friend who was trying to commit su. I don't even know what to do.

My cousin just committed suicide this month and now my friend...........

I am shaking and crying and all the voices in my head just whisper to me .......death..........death............death.................

I am so scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sending you a nice, safe hug tonight Kacey as well as many positive thoughts for you and your friend. I know I'd be freaking out too.

Take a deep breath... slow your breathing... you did the right thing to call the cops to help your friend... were you with her or just talking to her?
It is scary...when people get so low that they can't see another way to stop the pain. Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing! I'll be thinking about you and your friend..

You did do the right thing Kacey- have you been speaking with her at all since you made the call?

She texted me first and then wouldn't answer the phone so I called her husbands cell. He answered and they were fighting and physical (it sounded like it) and she was screaming at him to kill her or she would kill herself. And then he was trying to restrain her. He didn't know I was still on the phone and then I called 911.

Today my aunt showed me my cousin's medical reports when he died and it was so sad. They tried everything to save him and he just didn't make it this time. I am so overloaded.

I'm gonna call the hospital to see if she made it there. Or maybe call 911 back. I don't know.. What should I do?

I tried to call the DBT coaching line like 12 times but they won't answer it.

I'm not sure if the hospital will give out any information. Could you call your friend's husband? was he fighting with her to keep her from hurting herself?

Is there any other back up support lines you could call? community crisis lines?

Yes I have tried calling him but it just goes to voicemail. So I will just keep trying I guess.

The dbt on call person will probably see in the morning I called and call my t but what good will that do, it's done and over with. Stupid t's.........

Sorry about that. I just get so frustrated, I used to be able to call my t in emergencies and now they changed it to rotating t's but it is like whenever I call no one is available. And when I call it is an emergency. At least to me.

Sometimes they get physical when they fight. He was trying to stop her I guess from being out of control. She was screaming in the back ground that he choked her but he said that she kicked him in the privates.

And that just totally freaked me right the f out because my dad repeatedly choked me til I peed myself as a kid. Oh my gosh.........Am I gonna even make it through this I am so triggered about everything. My voices won't shut up!!

I appreciate you talking to me so much Readytostop. thank you

You being triggered is totally reaonable and understandable.

Hopefully the POlice were able to step in and calm things down. If your friends husband is not answering, I would imagine that's what's going on. Can you call your friends cell or is it the same as her husbands?

Are you feeling any calmer?

Kacey, you did the right thing in getting the police involved. They will take care of your friend and her husband. Now you need to take care of yourself...

I don't know what works for you but when I am triggered.. I try to find something that self soothes me... a blanket to snuggle in... my favorite soft music...a stuffed animal... then I take deep breathes and try to relax and I really tell myself out loud... that they things I am feeling are from the past... the choking is not happening now... the violence is not happening here now... that is all in the past...

I look around my surroundings and tell myself all the things i see that are good and safe... I say it all out loud...

I don't know what works for you... I know its hard when we are triggered...but try to remember what works for you.... even if you don't have any faith it will work tonight...try it... say things out loud...let yourself hear the affirming words out loud...

Well I already got so worked up and disoriented that I peed my bed. Now I have to change sheets and I will get my weighted blankie and my therapy dog that has my t's name and when I get my clean sheets on I will lay with them and probably just cry myself til I am exhausted and fall asleep. I will get wine and take my sleeping meds. And maybe grab my ipod too

Sleeping is a good idea. Hoping you'll get some good rest. You did a good thing tonight.

Kacey. I will be thinking about you tonight.

You did everything you could--now it is time to step back and take care of yourself!! Try to contact your T if you can. You did the right thing. Thinking of you.

Thinking of you today.

This is a real emergency all right.

Kacey, how are things today? Is your friend okay? Are you okay?

That sounds like a good plan.

Well my friend actually got discharged from the ER last night and text me that she was mad at me for calling the police and then she got mad at me for texting her husband. She accused me of being his friend and not hers. She couldn't believe I called the cops on her and not him. Since he was physical with her. She saw a text to him where I asked what flipped her out and then when he told me I said it didn't seem to add up to me.

She didn't get that I was concerned for both their welfare.

Finally I told her to go shove it. I couldn't believe that she was trying to pick a fight with me when she put me in the middle of it to begin with by texting me that she was going to kill herself. I shut my phone off at 2 a.m. because I had to work at 7. I haven't heard from her at all.

I left a message for my t and he called me back. I was so upset because no one answered the phone coaching line again and it actually causes me more distress than it does help. He tried to coach me then and I told him I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't calling for coaching today. I told him that they should change the number so I wouldn't know it and then I wouldn't even call. Since I know it now I can't fight the urge to call in an emergency. He laughed and I freaked out on him!!

Wow Kacey, it sounds like you've had a really rough 24 hours

Reading this thread, I feel so so proud of you. You did the responsible and effective thing when other people dragged you into their drama. You held really good boundaries for your own health and wellbeing by shutting off your phone once you had done all you could. You remembered your self soothing skills in the middle of a real crisis, and then used them. *And* you tolerated the frustration and distress of being so badly let down by the wretched coaching line.

You are the DBT superstar of the week! For real!

Wow, this is the first time I have ever been excited enough to click on 'more' to find more expressive smilies! I hope this doesn't sound trite. I am genuinely delighted because all of these skills are going to make your life happier and smoother, and that is what I want for you

I am so sorry your T wasn't sympathetic today when you really needed him Super bad day. Can you do anything nice or soothing or distracting this evening? I'm thinking of you x

Awe Improving,
I seriously haven't smiled so much in a long time. It feels so good that you are proud of me. Thank you! I am glad you can see how much my hard work has paid off. I feel really good because of what you said to me. THANK YOU!