So, how do you address your T?

My mother won't call me by my first name, she always calls me baby, or the baby. I remember a dinnertime conversation when I asked her to start using my name, and she laughed at me and refused. The "How to make friends and influence people" guy, Dale Carnegie, says in his books and training courses, that the sweetest sound to anyone's ear is their own name. I feel like I hardly even know or own my name, it feels really vague somehow to me. Someone would always humiliate me if I addressed my aunts by name (Zia {aunt} ZZZZ) "oh look she said Zia ZZZZ!" So calling my T by his first name is again practice in being human and close and freakin normal!

I have DID so depending on who is fronting depends on the name. Usually first name, or "doc", first initial, kids call her mom, or other cute little nicknames. Some which she knows of, some which she doesn't

I call my T by her first name though I don't think I've ever said it to her directly. I've said it when leaving a phone message and in emails, though.
I'm always interested when this "name issue" comes up because it's another problem I thought was mine alone, and I've come to realize it's not. I never used to call my mother "Mom", "Mommy" or anything except for awhile we had some affectionate name we called each other. When we were little, we called her Ma but she didn't like that.

I didn't call my H by his name, either. My Ts tried to "get" me to be able to say his name to him but that was extremely difficult for me. I've never used "dear" or "honey" or anything like that either. Now I can do it though!

What is it with this name issue, anyway? Why is it so scary for some of us to call someone by their name when speaking with them? Any Ts out there know? Anyone?????

one time i almost called my T..
T.. lol (as in the letter) xD
too much psychcentral!

I have DID and we all have several names for our T depending on who is talking to her, ranging from variations on her first name to Your Highness and Sunshine and just her last name.

Mostly I don't call her anything, but when I do, it's by her first name.

I got very close to calling her Mum, but it never quite happened.

I suspect her "true name" is Madame Therapist.

I think after all these years that has become one the first questions I ask, "Is what do you prefer that I call you?" and tell them how I preferred to be addressed. I had a T once call me Ms..... all the time and it drove me nuts. I kept expecting someone else to come in. This T beat me to it and actually said, "Please call me (first name), how should I call you?" I was pleasantly surprised and appreciated it. The pdoc, even after 13 years of working together, is still Dr.... and knows me better than anyone; it still makes me chuckle.

I use first name for my therapist. I somehow remembered to ask her when we started how she wanted to be addressed and she said her first name is fine, but some people like to use Dr X; she said she is ok with either way.

I call my therapist by his first name. He referred to himself by his first name once in session early on, then I began to refer to him by his first name in emails. Today I think was the first day I actually called him by his first name in session. It was actually really personable.

I call her 'my [firstname]' or 'my lovely [firstname]' if I'm in a good mood with her Over time it has evolved from a name to a role. Like I will tell her 'thank you for being my [firstname]', or she will say 'I'm sorry I can't be your mother but I can be your [firstname]'.

I call her by her first name, for some strange Dr. ******* seems a bit too intimate, I know it should work the other way around but it doesn’t

I called her by her first name....now i'd like to call her something entirly different and not so familiar....LMFAO

Awwh! That's lovely!

I don't call her anything. When I talk about her, I refer to her as "Doctor"

I'm the same, and yes, I think people do notice.

That's sweet!

There have been a couple of times when my T has referred to herself in the third person in my sessions in the context of speculating how I might be perceiving her. It always throws me. I think it's generally funny when people refer to themselves in the third person.

first name aloud, mama in my head

First name.

Dr. Lastname. I actually don't address him by name out loud often, though, and come to think of it he doesn't say my name either.

Previous T: Dr. Lastname

All other Ts: Firstname

All other medical professionals (pdoc, general doc) Dr. Lastname

Funny thing is, while T refers to herself on messages as "Hi client, it's Firstname Lastname" when she refers to herself in session she calls herself Dr. Lastname.

I actually asked this T what I should call her at our second appointment - didn't want to assume anything, but wanted to be very clear as to boundaries and stuff.

The name thing drives me crazy and sometimes makes me angry at T. I think a close relationship should be first name, so I always call her by first name, she refers to herself by DrLastname (PsycD). It puts a little distance between us whenever she does that, mostly if she's returning a call r.e. an appt (otherwise would never return a call) and says "this is DrLastname from Nameofwheresheworks" .... really? I don't know which organization she works with? I did ask her about names, she said first name is fine, but continues to refer to herself by lastname. BTW, she is 16 years younger than I am. Ugggh.

I guess I am old fashion. I don't feel comfortable calling either by their first name even though they will both sign off an email with their first name. My T said I don't have to call her Dr. ---- but I call her Dr. first name.

We do this too! Sometimes at goodbye hugtime I'll say, "I love my [firstname]!" and T will reply, "I love my hankster!" But it usually comes out of us laughing as we're getting up, or just getting mushy.

First name for both DBT therapist and psychoanalytic therapist.