[delicatefade26]

Soo...this week with T has been interesting. I had a session on Monday and cried so hard and said I didn't want to leave-I was dissociating pretty bad-T had to do a lot of grounding work-and even asked a lot if I was positive I was okay-and walked me down the stairs and made me promise I was going to be fine to go home (I was) and to email him when I got home. So then on Tuesday I called him because I woke up that morning still feeling weird (almost hungover) and my legs were still shaky and when I was in the shower my chest hurt-so I was concerned-so T said to just keep an eye on it-but that can happen.
Then I had a lot of stressful things happen in my family-emergencies-triggers-so I emailed T and we went back and fourth (I had posted the one rant I went on to him) and I look back now and feel like I was like an out of control child-and I requested to see him Saturday...he said we could-and now we are meeting tomorrow morn. However, I have this weird, guilty feeling...like I made this huge tantrum-sent him almost 20 emails in a matter of days-but I ultimately got what I wanted-he is going to see me...hmm...I have a weird feelings about it-but I'm not quit sure what...maybe I just feel like the "grown up" part of me would NEVER behave this way-but the little girl needy part doesn't know how to get what she wants without acting out..hmm...ok sorry I'm rambling-should I tell T about this tomorrow?

[growlycat]

Yes!! All of this is distressing now but it is an opportunity to get your T's support and help. It can bring you together to work on the most difficult stuff.

You know what? Sometimes you're allowed to get what you want.

I agree with Lucydog ; it's ok to get what we want/need. Don't feel guilty, you have as much right as anyone. It's ok to be needy too. If it wasn't, I'd be in big trouble.

[SoupDragon]

All of this sounds like really interesting and relevant stuff to explore with your T today. Let us know how it goes - Soup

Isn't gOod when our we are heard.

[WePow]

Bless your heart! You sound like me the past two weeks! Good for you to ask for what you need. I also sent my T tons of emails. Just this week I sent 37 !!! I have been in panic mode with high anxiety and even saw T twice already. Plus saw him a third time for the apt that was rescheduled. And I am still not all well.
T says I am in heavy PTSD response right now. And it is flat out exhausting. I even went to the ER with the physical symptoms two weeks ago! And I NEVER go to the doctor on my own but it was bad enough so I honestly thought I was having heart failure.

Big safe hugs to you!