how does T handle??

pbutton · Feb 29, 2012, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think they sort of like it if you get mad at them.

Agreed. I see a lot of people here mention that they are unable to express anger. At least my T can cross that one off the list....

KazzaX · Mar 01, 2012, 04:25 AM

I have hardcore anger issues hehe

I'm not allowed to yell in session, i still have to treat her with respect and all that jazz. I am not a yeller anyways. I think the deal is that you are allowed to express your anger in a healthy, appropriate way like talking, art, that sort of thing. No violence or yelling or destroying things. No acting out your anger in any way that could lead to the T fearing for their (or our) safety.

I have spoken to T angrily many times. At first she tries to challenge me, but then she learned that this is not a good idea because that is exactly what I want when I'm angry... to be challenged so that I can up the ante. So the only option left for me is to leave when I become enraged. That is what I have done the last 2 sessions. I get a huge urge to become violent so I put a lid on it and say "I need to leave now" and I get the heck out of there!! haha... Takes me about 4-5 days to calm down but hey at least I didn't do something horrible! For me, the usual anger dealing techniques feed my anger and it just escalates big time.

Mar 01, 2012, 08:33 PM

My T and another one of the teenage alters both got into a shouting and swearing match last night. Some much needed venting of anger on both sides. I'm not sure how long it lasted and exactly what they said (I'm not exactly co-concious with the one she was talking to) but it seems like it ended up being a really incredible session once those 2 clear the air between them. Very big breakthroughs last night.

CantExplain · Mar 01, 2012, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

how do you feel after being angry at T? Guilty? Does T's method of handling yr anger,whatever it may be, make guilt feelings worse/better afterwards?
just wondering. for me the guilt is terrible.

I wasn't guilty until years later.

At the time, I was always angry, so whatever I said was always justified.

CantExplain · Mar 01, 2012, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I expressed anger at T once, but the intense anger was gone by session time. I told her I had been very angry at her the night before, and wrote a letter to her which I read.

I made her a breast cancer awareness bracelet (sterling silver and Swarovski crystal) and gave it to her before she was to participate in an awareness walk. She excitedly told me she was going to wear it during the walk.

After the walk, I saw pictures posted on FB. One was of her and her husband. She was not wearing the bracelet, so I thought she lied to me. I was livid.

When I told her in session, she told me how she was so worried she would lose it, she kept shaking her arm before the walk to see if it would stay on. After a few minutes of this, her husband asked her if she was having a seizure. She told him she was worried she'd lose the bracelet. He said, "If you keep doing your arm like that, you ARE going to lose it. Just take it off and put it in your pocket."

Later, I found another picture she was in before the walk and she was wearing my bracelet.

This is precisely why I would never give my T anything she could wear.

tkdgirl · Mar 01, 2012, 10:36 PM

I got mildly angry with my T today. She was discussing something and giving her interpretation of the issue and ways to deal with it. I got irritated and rudely told her "that all sounds nice in theory but the real world doesn't work that way", followed by an "evil" stare. I was impressed and at the same time disappointed that she didn't seem to miss a beat, she acknowledge my concern and just kept going. I think there is an unwritten rule to probably not engage angry clients. As this is only my second time with this T, I'm sure I will push the angry boundary further in the future.

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