Can't stand the way I feel right now/ 2 ?'s

So, I'm glad and thankful I can come here when I feel I have exausted a lot of my other resources, tools, and coping mechanisms.

So, Thanks PC for at least responding or reading or commenting from time to time.

I just have to say that this is a difficult, difficult week...

On average, how often do you email your T?

I didn't go to session last Friday.. so it was the Friday before that when I last saw my T

and I've emailed her three times during this whole period.

She responded with, "I'm glad writing is an outlet for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I am glad you are being honest about your feelings, confusion, and thoughts...etc."

However, but, when will that get old for her?
because I really want to email again...

basically. I can tolerate with these pains seperatley

1. Chronic Pain
2. Menestrual Pain
3. Emotional Pain

However, when they all come all together, I have thoughts of wanting to die, I get really depressed- I feel I can't handle it all at once, I feel I can't function... its like so painful- makes me want to reach out again but, no. Deep inside, I feel bad for this a lot or scared of abandonment from T.

Also, I really, really, find myself wanting to share music with my T that reflects/sums up how I have been feeling.. cus sometimes this is quicker/easier then trying to find words outloud. I rather her have earphones to hear it cus I think the therapy rooms are too close and I don't
want another office to overhear. idk about an ipod just because Idk what I would do while she listens.. awkward much?

Any suggestions on if you want to share something with your T, like a video, music, etc. in session... how to go about doing it?

Jazzy

I also worry about e-mailing T too much, but it doesn't seem like you are. You need to keep that connection while you feel like this. Maybe you could discuss with T how often it is ok to e-mail but T seems happy for you to use it as an outlet.

As for music, I have difficulty talking and I shared 2 songs with my T, I told her in an e-mail I wanted to and with a lot of encouragement I did. I took my Ipod and portable speaker and she was really glad I'd shared my feelings that way. If you're worried about someone overhearing maybe you could send her the lyrics or a link to the song via e-mail? you can do this

I've shared a poem (not one that I wrote) that expressed my feelings because I could not put them into words. I think sharing a song is a wonderful way to do that.

Does your T have a white noise machine? My T has one right outside her door because it's next to the reception desk. It basically makes the voices inside the office sound muffled to anyone outside the office. Otherwise confuseduk has a great idea of sending her the lyrics.

With having DID we often dont know that someone else inside has emailed T. So T might get 5 or more emails a day on occassion. But i dont realize it until i check my outbox. T doesnt seem to mind and says she can handle the email.

My therapist doesn't do email so never. Which is good for me because I would annoy him to pieces I think.

If you have some kind of device to share music or a video I would take it and just say you have something you'd like him/her to see or listen to? Maybe.

Most of the time, maybe once a week. Sometimes 3-4 times, sometimes not at all. I know not to anticipate an answer.

I would email the link to her. I sent T a video this way.

I've only emailed my t once about something more than scheduling, but I was surprised he was supportive when I did. I think if your t said it's fine than go for it. Ask at your next session too, but in the meantime, go by what she said.

Hope you feel better soon!

I email my T every night . It was actually her idea because I can't afford to see her more often... she says it's a good way for us to stay connected in between sessions. I still feel bad doing it though... and wonder how long until she gets sick of it (and will she tell me? will it be awkward? will *I* ever get sick of it? Doubtful... but should I?).

As for sharing things with your T... like a song or a video to sum up how you're feeling, I think that could be a great idea. As long as you're not always relying on things like that to "talk for you" if that makes sense. But I think emailing your T with something like that should be fine... maybe preface it with "I found this short video that really reflects how I'm feeling right now. If you have a few minutes, maybe you could take a look at it."

All T's are different in how they deal with emails. Some (like mine) generally don't respond unless you specifically ask an urgent question, but they don't seem to mind how often you email (assuming it's not like... 20x a day). Others may have stricter boundaries and preferences to how often you email. From your T's last response though, about being glad you're being open and honest about your feelings, it sounds like she's a fan of you reaching out in this way.