[lostmyway21]

Ok I'm T's first client and he's always at least 10 minutes late. That's fine he's comming from another borough. He will never cut me short on time, just run over. Okay today is the second time this idiot client after me... Mind you we had only ran 5 minutes over. Comes upstairs knocks on door and starts walking in. This time I had my service dog there and he started barking at the knocking like he's trained to and luckily T jumped up and stopped him at the door and told him to wait downstairs.

This guy really pisses me off.

[stopdog]

I think the therapist needs to tell the guy not to knock or put a sign out to let the next client know. Perhaps the guy is new too and does not know what to do until the therapist explains about the procedure and also how he always runs late.
I would be annoyed at the knocking too. But I would blame the therapist.

[lostmyway21]

He explains his procedure the first appointment. He is on the third floor with a second floor waiting room. He specifically told me to wait in the waiting room until he called me to come up on my first visit. This is the SAME guy who did it last time. T was clearly pissed off last time, this time we just tried to jump into what we were talking about cause it was actually a deep moment.

[unaluna]

I can't believe the next client opened the door and barged in! Only in NYC! And only in NYC would the present client have her "guard" dog! That is just too perfect! I would submit that to the new column in the nytimes about life in the city. There is just something so nyc karma about it! I mean, i'm sorry you were interrupted, but as a comedian, what a great story! And great thread title!

[SeaSalt]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

He explains his procedure the first appointment. He is on the third floor with a second floor waiting room. He specifically told me to wait in the waiting room until he called me to come up on my first visit. This is the SAME guy who did it last time. T was clearly pissed off last time, this time we just tried to jump into what we were talking about cause it was actually a deep moment.

I bet that was kinda freaky. I felt this way somewhat when my T took 2 phone calls but it was no where near what you must have felt hearin this guy tryin to get in. Anything like that can disrupt the flow.

Obviously the other client has issues T needs to address so this doesnt happen again.

[WikidPissah]

yup...would piss me off too. My pet peeve is aggressive people. Trust your T to handle it.

[nicoleflynn]

SeaSalt: Your t took 2 phone calls?! Not good.

[stopdog]

And get a lock from the outside so the client cam always get out but no one can get in. And have it be automatic so it does not ever appear as though the client is locked in. The guy does need some further direction it sounds like.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by hankster

I can't believe the next client opened the door and barged in! Only in NYC! And only in NYC would the present client have her "guard" dog! That is just too perfect! I would submit that to the new column in the nytimes about life in the city. There is just something so nyc karma about it! I mean, i'm sorry you were interrupted, but as a comedian, what a great story! And great thread title!

Hahaha omg that made me laugh. It would have been a comical scene from the outside I suppose. I just wonder what his reaction was when he knocked and heard barking.

[unaluna]

cos back in the olden days (the 1970's), when crime was really awful in nyc, people would have dog recordings, so that as robbers knocked on their apartment doors, it would trigger the recording, and they would think there was a dog inside and not try to rob it. so now it's, don't interrupt my session, i've got a dog in here! i'm dyin'...

[SeaSalt]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

SeaSalt: Your t took 2 phone calls?! Not good.

*sigh* Yes, 2 calls.

Both from her child. Both not emergency but somewhat important. I dont know how I feel about it. She apologized afterwards. Thing is, it wasnt the calls that bothered so much as her attitude afterwards. She seemed like she was maybe upset with kid but took it out on me. Bad thing is, I cant see her for 3 more weeks because of her schedule and vacation. I would love to think she would mention it next time but I doubt it. No telling what mood I will be in by then. Its not like we were deep into something but it did disrupt the flow of things.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by SeaSalt

*sigh* Yes, 2 calls.

Both from her child. Both not emergency but somewhat important. I dont know how I feel about it. She apologized afterwards. Thing is, it wasnt the calls that bothered so much as her attitude afterwards. She seemed like she was maybe upset with kid but took it out on me. Bad thing is, I cant see her for 3 more weeks because of her schedule and vacation. I would love to think she would mention it next time but I doubt it. No telling what mood I will be in by then. Its not like we were deep into something but it did disrupt the flow of things.

Can you email your T? I had a problem with my T answering texts and emails in session a few months ago. I emailed him after a session and told him how unimportant it made me and my time feel. Since then, his phone gets put on silent the second it goes off and back into his pocket the rest of the session. He took what I said to heart. I'm sure your T will too.

[SeaSalt]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

Can you email your T? I had a problem with my T answering texts and emails in session a few months ago. I emailed him after a session and told him how unimportant it made me and my time feel. Since then, his phone gets put on silent the second it goes off and back into his pocket the rest of the session. He took what I said to heart. I'm sure your T will too.

I'm only on my 3rd visit. We have not discussed much of anything in that area. I have no clue if she does email/texting or not. I do remember commenting in our first session that (after reading here, lol) I was shocked at the folks who are allowed to email and text their Ts. I kept thinking....how in the heck do the Ts have time for their own lives with all this emotional emails and texting going on?

I'm not sure about emailing anyway. I guess it would be good to just touch base but you cant conduct therapy via the written word. I could see me using it like a journal thing maybe. Writing can be good therapy for me. Honestly, I think I would feel content just knowing I can email her but not really having to do it. Oh hell, I dunno. Get back to me in 3 months when I'm a slobbering idiot in love with her straight T and cant go 5 minutes without some form of communication.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by SeaSalt

I'm only on my 3rd visit. We have not discussed much of anything in that area. I have no clue if she does email/texting or not. I do remember commenting in our first session that (after reading here, lol) I was shocked at the folks who are allowed to email and text their Ts. I kept thinking....how in the heck do the Ts have time for their own lives with all this emotional emails and texting going on?

I'm not sure about emailing anyway. I guess it would be good to just touch base but you cant conduct therapy via the written word. I could see me using it like a journal thing maybe. Writing can be good therapy for me. Honestly, I think I would feel content just knowing I can email her but not really having to do it. Oh hell, I dunno. Get back to me in 3 months when I'm a slobbering idiot in love with her straight T and cant go 5 minutes without some form of communication.

I wouldn't suggest that route. I think I'm the biggest offender of emailing T anonymous. I used to email him like at least 10x a day. Our relationship is struggling to form healthy boundaries now. If our theraputic relationship wasn't so solid I'm not sure we would get through all the boundary changes. Yeah moral of the story....don't become a email T addict like I did. It's devastating when it has to come to an end and you need to become more self reliant.

[SeaSalt]

Lost: I dont know how I would feel if T did that constantly. I guess my initial question is ---- why the heck would they do that? I suppose there are two sides to the coin here. T is a compassionate person who wants to help all his/her clients especially during a crisis. But yet, not giving total attention to the client in front of you could be disastrous for some. At least your T recognized your situation with it and changed.

[SeaSalt]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

I wouldn't suggest that route. I think I'm the biggest offender of emailing T anonymous. I used to email him like at least 10x a day. Our relationship is struggling to form healthy boundaries now. If our theraputic relationship wasn't so solid I'm not sure we would get through all the boundary changes. Yeah moral of the story....don't become a email T addict like I did. It's devastating when it has to come to an end and you need to become more self reliant.

I am not able to read my T yet. I even commented that she has a great poker face and ---- did they teach you that? She didnt answer.

Up until last visit, I felt like she would be compassionate to my needs as we got to know each other. She seemed a bit cold and clinical if ya know what I mean on the last visit. I need to just chill and relax, and give her another chance. Seriously, I dont think email or texting would be something I would abuse. But one never knows I guess.

[WikidPissah]

sea salt..here's an idea someone on here gave me when I had that problem. T never answered his phone, but when it buzzed he would pick it up and look at the caller id. Took me several weeks to get up the nerve, but he did it one session and I said "am I boring you?". Nothing else was said, he put the phone down and hasn't picked it up since.

[anilam]

So rude. My T's door opens only from the inside and I am closer to it (so if threaten I can run for it- as my T explain to me once. It can sound silly but there were times when all this helped me to feel safe while in session.

BTW NOT taking phone calls during session- that's gotta be the first thing they teach them at shrink school.

[SeaSalt]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

sea salt..here's an idea someone on here gave me when I had that problem. T never answered his phone, but when it buzzed he would pick it up and look at the caller id. Took me several weeks to get up the nerve, but he did it one session and I said "am I boring you?". Nothing else was said, he put the phone down and hasn't picked it up since.

I think (I HOPE, lol) I will have the guts to say something to her if this happens on a continuing basis. Maybe I am too sympathetic because it was her kid, I dunno. I tried not to get too upset but my emotions kinda ran all over the place for a time.


And by reading here I am finding that some of your Ts (not necessarily you, wikid) do things until you tell them to stop. Then they stop. I guess I thought taking non-emergency calls would be a given. And especially since she's on a strict 50-minute hour. All of this is compounded by the fact that my D.O. who I've seen for over 15 years and trust with my life, recommended her to me. I"m gonna try to stop fretting over this and let it rest.

Thanks for the advice.

[pbutton]

As either client, I'd be annoyed that the therapist is constantly running late.

[WikidPissah]

Originally Posted by pbutton

As either client, I'd be annoyed that the therapist is constantly running late.

yes. don't even get me started on the late crap.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by pbutton

As either client, I'd be annoyed that the therapist is constantly running late.

I dont really mind, but I don't get worked up about that. He never cuts me short and he usually doesn't have a client after me so he always let's me run over into his time. He texts me when he's close anyway. We live in NYC and the bridge is under construction in the morning, a little unavoidable for now.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

yes. don't even get me started on the late crap.

Oddly in the beginning of our relationship I used to get really worked up and pissed off, but things some where changed and it doesn't bother me. I guess I got comfortable enough to know he cares and it's not a personal vendetta against me.

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

Oddly in the beginning of our relationship I used to get really worked up and pissed off, but things some where changed and it doesn't bother me. I guess I got comfortable enough to know he cares and it's not a personal vendetta against me.

I totally get that. I suppose if I was picky (and I really am not) I could say all of my sessions start about 10 minutes late, but I've learned my T's habits over the years and have realized that all of his sessions start about 10 minutes after the hour and end at the hour. 50 minutes, which is what we pay for. It is just the pattern he uses regularly, so even if my session says it starts at 4:00, I know it will be more like 4:10ish and I'll still get my full session, ending at about 5ish. Like you say, I know he cares, he's not doing it to be mean, he's not depriving me of my time, and the man goes overtime if needed, he allows me to call him in the evenings and weekends if needed. He's come in on weekends for emergency sessions. It's not like he isn't giving me my due time and attention. Perspective is a good thing.

[critterlady]

I'd be seriously annoyed at my T if he consistently ran late or if he took phone calls or looked at his computer during my session. Luckily, his computer is turned off and his phone is nowhere in sight when I'm in his office.

The other client would annoy me, too, at least after having done it once. What part of "wait downstairs" is difficult to understand? When I go in T's office area, I wait for him to indicate that I should come into his office, even if his door is open and I can see him sitting there with no one else.

But I'm feeling a little crabby today, so I may not be the best judge.