Irvin D. Yalom , anyone?

I'm not sure if it's one of Yalom's books or not, but the title" Five Patients" comes to mind.

No, it was the one where he had an overweight female client and was repulsed by her. When she lost weight, he liked her better. I was very sensitive to that, since I'm overweight. It is just sad a therapist has those feelings about people's physical appearances. He did work with her--it's not like he was so repulsed he had to terminate her or anything. I also didn't like how he was only repulsed by overweight females, not males. It suggested to me he saw females too much as sex objects, or he would have been repulsed by the overweight males too. Just kind of yuck.

That said, I did like a lot of the other vignettes and how he interacted with the clients. I also like how he checked in with the clients at the end of each session to ask them how the session had been for them. I think it's great for the T to do those mini-assessments. Sometimes the T can think the session went great, whereas the reverse was true for the client.

I watched a few short videos of Yalom yesterday doing group therapy, and he seemed fine. He had the focus all on the clients and was a good facilitator, IMO.

I think loves executioner and other tales of psychotherapy had a lot of examples in it as well. I mentioned reading some of his books to my T who praised Yalom as being "honest and insightful". In the therapy bookclub on PC theres a bit of discussion about Yaloms books for anyone who isn't already a member there

One of the things I liked that he said was on diagnosis in therapy and why it's not a good idea.

""Why? For one thing, psychotherapy consists of a gradual unfolding process werein the therapist attempts to know the patient as fully as possible. A diagnosis limits vision; it diminishes ability to relate to the other as a person. Once we make a diagnosis, we tend to selectively inattend to aspects of the patient that do not fit into that particular diagnosis, and correspondingly overattend to subtle features that appear to confirm an initial diagnosis. What's more, a diagnosis may act as a self-fulfilling prophecy"

I think my T would support that 100%.

I haven't wanted to contribute to this thread because I have mostly a negative impression of Yalom. I used to like him a lot from reading a couple of his books, but something turned me off in another book. I like the way he interacts with his clients but I don't like his ego. I do like that he doesn't believe in diagnoses; neither does my T. We read his work of fiction, Lying on the Couch, for the PC therapy book group and I thought it was one of the worst books I've ever read!! It was beneath his dignity as a psychiatrist, or is he a psychologist, to write a book like that.

I don't really like the whole diagnosis thing, but don't most insurance companies require some type of diagnosis so they'll cover the therapy? I know mine does.

I'm mixed, but generally positive. He is extremely, to a fault, honest about his countertransference issues. I have a problem with his therapeutic relationship with "Betty"--if he had that much of a problem with obese people he could have referred her elsewhere--but he used the opportunity to change his own attitude somewhat. Is that selfish or selfless? A very fine line!!

His concepts on paper seem sound, in practice, I don't think I'd want him as my therapist!
But a therapist who likes his work may be cherry-picking ideas too, it's best to ask!

I don't recall that he changed his mind about overweight women. He was repulsed by them when he started therapy with that client and still repulsed by them when he ended. He came to not be so repulsed by the client because she lost weight. I don't see any growth there.

If I wasn't overweight and didn't already have a great T, I'd give him a go. Just as long as he didn't write about me in some future book! I feel strong enough that I wouldn't be sucked in to anything unhealthy. He has thought and written about death a lot, and I have problems with death, so I think this might be a profitable area to explore together.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna So my new T said he was heavily influenced by Irvin D. Yalom , so I've been doing a little research and I came upon this website

I have read every one of his books at least twice and plan to put a lot of his advice into practice when I graduate (I'm in a Master's program for clinical counseling) I love Yalom - wish he was my T - have you ever watched him speak in a video? He comes off as so kind, warm and soft spoken. He must be really great to work with.

Thanks for the websites Lola - very much appreciated
By the way, I've been following your posts - hope everything is going well with your new T!

No I haven't seen him speak but I will check that out. As for new T we meet again Friday afternoon , so we shall see. Thanks for the support!

I just finished Love's Executioner, and I found Yalom to be honest and open in a way that I really appreciate. I'd love to have him as my T.

My current T is a fan, and I see similarities in their approach to psychotherapy.

I loved the essay "Arabesque", about the older woman who presented him with a picture of herself as a prima ballerina years ago. She almost forgot her 40 years since, and that she had been loved and loved in return her husband, so caught up was she in returning to her youth with her ex husband whom she had slashed in the face lol with a bottle for leaving her. Yalom's intervention jolted her to see how sad she was about her life winding down, but that it had been a very well lived life.

On the other hand his essay about being preoccupied and disgusted by his fat client was so rude and self-absorbed- pretty despicable.

I would love to be his patient, but not his wife , as he talks so much about loving women every way there is besides actually touching them.

Another essay made me cry, and his compassion astounded me- the one in which the woman lost her daughter, and accidentally **** out her sons ministering the loss on and on.

He stinks as a fiction write, but is a good essayist.

Not sure what my T would think about him- can't even guess. I love that Yalom shares his sensibility and window on the world. It is funny he sticks it to the client who never compliments his flowers on the walk in.

I found Yalom interesting to read and could relate to him in many ways, especially at specific periods of my life. I also had a long-standing interest in existentialism going back to my teen years, so he was a fit in some ways. I kinda grew the philosophy and approach out though with time. But I will say, roll with it if it is helpful! Perhaps at least some existentialist therapists are at least interested in investigating issues in a thoughtful way.

Ahhh, I absolutely love Irv Yalom! I've read many of his books 2-3 times. I've read The Gift of Therapy 4 or 5 times.

I love him so much that sometimes I wish my therapist was more like him. My poor therapist, always being compared to someone else.