[beautifuldisaster78]

My T has been sick and it's caused all sorts of messed up thoughts in my head. Like what if he never comes back, etc... (He canceled one week so I realize it's way out of context.) But it really has been freaking me out. So I went ahead and emailed him this long letter about how I felt emotionally reliant on him and that scared me and his getting sick scared me and then how I felt selfish because I was thinking of my needs from him when he was sick, etc... He responded with "come in tomorrow and we'll discuss this." Now I'm freaking out more. One because I don't want to discuss it, that's why I chose email lol... two because it just sounded so formal "we'll discuss this." What if he fires me for being too needy and dependent? Am I just way over reacting? I'm so full of anxiety lately over everything (other issues too) that I can't even eat.

Anyone ever tell their T that they were too reliant on them? How did he/she react?

Thanks

He just wants to talk about this in session. Email is not a very good way for him to try to work on this issue. That's all. It will be fine.

[stopdog]

I do not want to say you are "way over-reacting" as that would not be anyone else's call, but it sounds to me like the therapist is just saying he wants to give you an opportunity to discuss your feelings with him, not that he wants you to find a different therapist or anything like that. I think the short message from him is more of an indication he does not want to discuss it in email form. Is he usually more informal in emails?

[beautifuldisaster78]

Good point stopdog, I had to go back and look at some of them to check. We really don't email that much (well, I email more often then he emails back... sometimes he just waits and asks me about it in session) and when he does email back it's usually short and to the point so- thanks for making me realize that. It's probably just where my mind is at right now and the fear that I opened up to him. I used to have a friend/mentor that would tell me if I ever became too reliant on him, he would leave because it wasnt right- so I am so scared of letting anyone know I attach to them, that they would leave if I did.

[stopdog]

Conventional wisdom on boards such as this would be to talk to the therapist about your concern he will leave you if he knows you are attached. Perhaps you could broach it with him in a speculative sort of way such that he could reassure you without putting you at risk.

[Mike_J]

When I told my therapist about my fears of being too dependant on her, she said there is such a thing as "healthy dependence" and that she didn’t see my dependence as I had described it as being such a bad thing.