How do you think of yourself in therapy?

OUCH! And unfortunately I so relate to this.

T says we are a team - that we are in this together. I like that because it helps us feel equal.

This is where my Catholic school training is useful. We learned you can be the worst sinner all your life, but as long as you "confessed" right before you died, you would get into heaven (yeah, we were THAT bunch of kids asking sister all the weird scenarios!). So I KINDA have the same attitude with my therapy - as long as i'm "cured" before the end, or getting better? Hmm - I think i'm quoting Peter McKenna there - you don't stay still in your health; if you're getting worse, you need to turn that around and go the other way.

of course, the whole lesson was, as the tree leans, so it falls; and the chances that "the worst sinner" would be able to turn around right before he/she died are very small, so make the best of your time now. that's why it's important to get into therapy & not wait around till mid 50s, like I did......

Mmm... 99 cent fish taco tuesdays.

Anyway, I feel drawn to the term ”allies”. It feels strong, and I need strength to combat my inner demons.The one trouble I have with that term is that allies always have their own agenda. There's a whiff of ruse to the term, but, then again, perhaps that's accurate, so all the better.

"if allies are strong with power to protect me
might they not protect me out of all I own....?"

from "Is A Puzzlement!", Rogers & Hammerstein's musical The King and I

Yes. But metaphorically what I ”own” ain't so great. She can have it. At any rate, if I'm gonna use a tool I'd rather it be a powerful one and assume the risk. A bargain must be struck.

Does looking at yourself as a "lost puppy" count?

"Pilgrim".

I am a terrified little kid and he's Captain Obvious. That's a pretty big promotion because he used to be a T-rex...

that reminds me, the Therapy Client Accessory Store brought in a new line of T Rex toys, complete with instructions on how to customize by adding yr T's face. Great for working through those rocky periods. Thanks Elli-Beth!

Right now i am thinking of myself as an idiot

When I first started with him, I had a dream where I was running from the bad guys, and the only place to escape was in a cage with a "carnivorous T-rex". I was literally on the fence of the cage, deciding if I should stay out and face the bad guys, or go in and trust the Dino...

I was thinking about this thread at my last session. T usually only refers to me by my name, but he called me "kid" and I just stop and looked at him. I was amazed that he actually referred to me by something else.

My T has called me "Lady" a couple of times. That just perplexes and makes me go: It's usually in connection with something nice. Like once I was talking about how awful I am, and his response was, "Lady, you are NOT awful, you are kind and loving and amazing . . ." It was sweet, but I'm still like,

I call my friends "Woman" sometimes, as in, "Woman, you rock!" I never use "Lady."

I would be so like "well Gentleman, stop calling me lady"

Rhodesian ridgeback

That would set me off imitating Jerry Lewis in The Bellboy: "Hey LAAAAADYYY!" I think we've discussed the word a few times - it is really a not-me! Altho I do prefer the honorific "Miss", followed by either my first or last name.

Another attorney called me a "lady" recently, in all seriousness. I was just standing there looking at him. I wanted to ask him where the **** he got the idea I was a lady, but didn't know if he'd see the humor in that. Apparently, being pleasant and professional and not engaging in mind games is now sufficient to be called a lady. Being foul mouthed and over-sexed, totally okay and congruent with still being a lady. Go figure.

My T once called me "sweetheart", but I think she was teasing me or maybe even sarcastic.