[healed84]

Usually right after my sessions with T I have been running quick errands in towns, then rushing to pick my kids up from whose ever house they happen to be at while I am at my appointment. However, the last two appointments with T have just been really heavy and I am finding it so hard to just cross back into "real world." I am thinking after particulary hard sessions like I have been having that I may have to take a half an hour, to an hour to sit and journal before going to pick up the kids or running errands.

anybody do this already? I feel a bit selfish, b/c it is just more time that I am taking away from the rest of the day- just to run away for by myself like that every week seems like a lot of time when you put it together with driving time to T's office, the acutal appointment itself, and then however long it takes me to "reflect."

[Perna]

I was lucky and had a 1 to 1-1/2 hour drive to get home after sessions, sometimes as long as 3 hours (it was during rush hour, depended on how bad that was) and I had plenty of time to think right afterwards. However, that could backfire; almost had accidents and once drove past my exit dissociating, etc.

I did most of my work in bed, between going to bed and going to sleep and journaling early in the morning, before work/husband got up (he went to work later than I did).

[Eliza Jane]

I don't do anything to "reflect" so much, but after hard sessions, I have come up with something that is helpful to me (as I usually have to rush back to work after the session).

First, I make sure that T knows that whatever we are talking about is very emotional for me and I will need some "putting back together." When I can anticipate it, I tell her at the beginning of the session so that she can plan our time accordingly. Then, for the last 5 minutes of the session, we do some sort of relaxation/breathing/meditation with the goal of relaxing and grounding myself. After the relaxation, I tell her, "Okay, I just need a little small talk now." We then discuss things like what my plans are for the weekend, a good book she's read, etc. for just a few minutes. Then we hug (as is our custom) and I leave.

I don't know if it would work for you, but I find it helps me seal in the work from the session and get in a mental space where I can face the rest of my day.

Best,
EJ

[stopdog]

I do not think it is selfish to take time to help yourself. I tend to believe it is one of the many very wrong things women (I do believe it is mostly women, but certainly it can happen to men also) are taught by society and family. Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act. Taking time,(daily) or even a few hours a day once or twice a week to accomplish this (assuming your children are clothed, fed, and not left out in the snow) is not a bad or selfish thing. In the big picture it is a good thing for you and your family (if family is a concern) - a more balanced you is better for them.

[pbutton]

How do I process? Right now I am sitting in front of the computer.... crying like I just spent my 60 minute session grinding my brain back and forth across a cheese grater.

I think I shall load up my iPod and head to the gym.

Someone please tell me that sometimes the crappy sessions teach us a lot. Right? RIGHT? This is where change is made. Hurk.

I have an hour drive home, so that is my processing time, which helps.

How come its selfish for you to take that time for yourself? Would you say that to any of us? it is absolutely necessary and good for you (and us) to take time for yourself and take care of yourself, to help yourself.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by pbutton

Someone please tell me that sometimes the crappy sessions teach us a lot. Right? RIGHT? This is where change is made. Hurk.

Yes. That is what they say. I am sorry it was a bad session.

[Hope-Full]

I like to try and journal when I get home from T, which sometimes isn't for a few hours. Lately, as most of my sessions have been hard ones, I've taken to doing an audio journal - talking to the voice memo app on my phone - so I can hold on to whatever it is I want to think about. Sometimes the audio is long, like 10 minutes, as I ramble on, other times it's just 2-3 minutes and I just speak the big ideas. That way, when I do have time to sit down, be it later that day or the next day, I can go back and listen to my audio notes and journal from there.

Oh, and as long as I'm not too much of an emotional wreck, I actually do the recording while I'm driving - it's all hands free, like I was talking on the phone. On days when I'm a wreck, I sit in the parking lot for a few minutes and record before driving away.

[critterlady]

I go straight to my office after my sessions, but I'm able to take some time once I get there to journal and reflect. I have to do that - I can't seem to jump right into something else.

[ClementineK]

I don't think it's selfish of you at all to take time to reflect. For me, I know it's what I need. Sometimes, it's a lot of time. But that can't always happen unfortunately.

A lot of times I go to a friend's house that is close by, who is someone that I can just be myself around, before I go home. I don't do well at home when I am upset.

I don't think you should feel bad about taking time out to unwind or reflect after an appointment. I don't know many people who can open up emotional topics and then shut them off when they walk out of the room, and lots of times it takes a lot of thinking over issues and conversations in order to better understand them.

[Asiablue]

Mostly i reflect on my journey home and i seem to take a good few hours if not days to fully process my session. Sometimes i will go for a walk afterwards, sometimes i journal, sometimes i just go to bed. But whatever i do... i need that time alone to reflect and digest. I certainly think it's an important time to take for yourself, it's often where you begin to internalise what's been discussed and make sense of it all.

If you feel you need that time afterwards, it's perfectly normal and actually a good way to unwind before returning back to real life. And not selfish in the least.

I've started writing in the parking lot immediately after T, but to answer a specific question: "What do I feel right now?" My T is very skilled at making sure to stop the difficult stuff with enough time to help me recenter (occasionally with a meditation) and catch my breath. Then we often do a little small talk about my plans for the rest of the day or the weekend (the latter during our Fri appts). We always leave enough time for a big hug. The trick is to help me feel back into the external world a little, calmed, loved, supported, etc. so I can carry on with my day. By writing what I feel in the moment I leave the session, this helps to remember our connection and feeling safe after just having shared the hard stuff (and protected by the past from hurting me in the future) so that later if I do go back to the more difficult stuff in my mind or by journaling I can read what I wrote right after I left her office, which tends to remind me that everything will be OK.

[sconnie892]

I am usually able to schedule my sessions for the end of the work day so I don't have to worry about going back to my office afterward. I have a 20 minute drive home to think over the session and often journal when I get home or later that evening.

[Chopin99]

I usually drive home or back to work and write here. Most of the time, I come right home after session; I try to schedule at the end of the day.

There is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself. You have to take care of yourself before you can properly take care of others.