[lynyah]

I had a professional that i had been seeing for years who knew all about me and prescribed my meds. A couple of years ago she switched my meds and abruptly left, no referal no nothing, left swinging in the wind. She came back and i went back to her and she apoligized for her absence, it was personal issues. I went to my particular self help meeting one night and ran into her there. we struck up a friendship which was facilitated by her first. we went to meetings and lunch and i said that i would get a different dr. because i valued the friendship, we had alot in common, alot. She insisted no, its ok, well obviously it wasnt because just recently she cut me off at the knees and ended everything, friendship and "find another dr". We had been friends for awhile and very recently went to lunch and did other things and this feels like it just came out of the blue. I am stupid and hurt.

[Perna]

I don't think doctors have quite the same line as therapists but this was not a nice way for a friend to treat someone, never mind a doctor. I winced thinking about the break in the friendship, alone.

It sounds like you can see in a healthy manner that she obviously is the one with the problem; I would not think of yourself as stupid -- you had no way to anticipate this. You do know now if she "comes back" you do not wish to trust her! I'm so sorry for your hurt and need to go through the rigmarole of find another doctor.

[WePow]

Wow. That is horrid! You deserve a final word. Can you write her out the impact this has had on your life and find a way to get it to her? I am so sorry.

yes & it was very ugly.

fast forward a million years...different docs..i know dogs. i run a dog sitting business. my regular doc asked me for advice about getting a puppy i helped. she got the puppy & now i am their dog sitter..no big deal...due the issue above..i am able to keep my boundaries..but it drives my t crazy! (when i first started with her she went away & i offered to watch her dog..just because it's what i do...she explained boundaries to me which i knew i was just being polite..i then referred her to a good day care place)

but it's funny i have just helped my t with her dog's cancer issues & now death as well as her son going into the military. last week i walked in & her first words were spot is dying. friday she called out of the blue & said she died. this from a woman who is very by the rules...so it's kind of funny...

[dismantle.repair]

Well, my T is a campus T. So we see each other on campus off and on.
I was involved in a project that she is an advisor for.
(This is how I found out:

le me: *late for meeting* Craaaaap. This is not the best way to start a first meeting!
*walks in door, expecting other students and faculty members*
Me: *smile* Sorry I'm late guys, was too busy watching my plan to take over the world.. not work.
Everyone: Hey dis! It's ok...
*looks at room and notices T*
Me: Oh dear. Hey everyone.
Chairperson: Right, this is Dr.____. She'll be part of the committee. You'll work with her on x, y and z.
T: *smiles* Small world.
Me: Small campus. -_-

Lynyah, that is heart breaking. And you are not stupid. It is always, always, always 100% the therapist's responsibility to maintain proper boundaries with the patient. You even brought that up to her and she ignored it. You were the competent one in the beginning there, and only followed her lead because you trusted her the way that patients are supposed to be able to trust therapists. She's failed as both a friend and a doctor by blurring the lines between both and terminating like this. She owed you a safe and respectful therapeutic relationship, and now that that has been compromised she sure as heck owes you an explanation.

I don't want to sound overly harsh, but I find myself getting very upset on your behalf, here.

I don't feel like I can offer a lot of practical insight regarding your particular situation, but I think WePow has a good suggestion. Or, I know it would be good for me; I would feel progressively shattered until I got some level of closure (perhaps that is just me).


In answer to your general question, I don't think my therapist has ever crossed a line. Sometimes I can tell she becomes highly uncomfortable with her own desire to treat me like something other than a patient, but she always just reigns herself in. She quickly detects her own spills of affection, and it usually followed by periods of increased reserve on her part in some sort of penance, almost. I always feel sad when she withdraws again, but I know that's how it has to be.

Yes...and it was heart-breaking... I am still not over it even though it was quite a few years ago. My new T is still trying to help me get over it.

[rainboots87]

I'm sorry that you had to experience that.

Now and in the past, I have wanted to be friends with my Ts, but they're too good at maintaining those boundaries. I used to feel bad about it, thinking it was to protect themselves, which it is. But, I've realized lately it's to protect me too. So it sucks to maintain that boundary, but I understand why.

[lynyah]

Thanks everyone for your comments, im new at this posting stuff. It sucks but eventually it wont suck as much. I am a fighter and will move on from this messed up person.

[bipolarmedstudent]

No, never.

So sorry that happened to you. I can't believe how unprofessional some of the therapists out there are!

[missbelle]

My pdoc a long time ago when I was younger and in my 20's definately crossed the line. At that time I was attending a day treatment facility close to my home after the death of my husband.He asked me out for lunch while he was treating me and also put me in a very bad spot in the psych ctr. Had it not been for another Dr. walking in on us I don't know what would have happened. I wound up telling my therapist and he was reported and furious with me. I t was a bad scene at that time. Let me tell you If anything can snap you back to reality and get you well, well, that was it. I regained my power and it actually helped me to get better . You would think it might have gone the other way but it did not.