Does it make me shallow?

I like to feel strong when I go to T, so I wear clothes that I think make me look good and like I've got myself together. Since I'm such a mess inside, I like to balance that with looking good on the outside. T is very strong, personality-wise, so I like to feel like I'm a match for him. (Here I am, T - bring it!!) Also, it takes a lot of strength to let myself be vulnerable when that's what I need to do to make progress. So yeah, I plan out what I'm going to wear days in advance.

I wonder why your T assumed something was wrong? You were dressed differently, but maybe that meant something was right! Maybe it meant you finally felt super comfortable with your T so you could just "let your hair down" and be casual. Or maybe it meant nothing at all. Odd assumption from your T.

I'm more likely to respond if my views are different, because I figure I don't have anything new to add if I'm just going to repeat what a number of others have already said.

Not really an odd assumption. The way I was dressed reflected the way I was feeling that day: very depressed. She probably made the assumption based not only on the way I was dressed, but also my body language and facial expression. I admit I only gave information that supported my thread.

Interestingly, she was also dressed "down" and I could tell something was wrong with her that day. She came back too early after a chemo treatment and was feeling similarly depressive both physically and emotionally.