Does it make me shallow?

I have carefully chosen my clothes for today. There's a lot that goes into it. I have to feel comfortable/casual so I usually wear work out clothes. But then I also usually do my make up and hair (not too much) and today I've put on a bit of perfume. I can't have anything even a little bit tight on as it aggravates my body memories and paralyzes me from getting anything else done in therapy.

I feel like going to see a therapist is akin to going into battle. I dress in a way that it would be easy to move or get away should it become necessary. It looks casual and relaxed but its purpose is mobility.
I am careful, when very depressed, to remember to check to see if the jeans and shirt are reasonably clean. I actually put a note to myself that says "change clothes" for days I go in to work and therapy.

I remember a few times when I felt more vulnerable to T that I would take extra care to be/feel put-together...wear a 'power' color or whatever or a particularly nice necklace. I guess I did always want to look good, basically for self-respect.....not that I dressed way UP or anything, but I generally wanted to look decent and be comfortable, too. T1 always was very stylish, well-dressed, nice jewelry, etc., and I didn't think I had to match that, but I also sort of felt like it would somehow increase that stupid power differential/inequality thingy if I showed up sloppy. With T2, it didn't matter so much.....she wasn't as elegant/stylish a dresser, more casual/comfortable. I suppose there is the fact that I had more of a desire to look better for T1 than T2, because of that erotic attachment stuff......
I don't think it's shallow to want to dress well or at least feel like we look good/stylish. Appearances do matter/have influence. It's one of those things though that could cross into shallowness/vanity if it starts mattering TOO much, takes up too much thought/time, etc.
I'm not a total clotheshorse, but I do like to have clothes that look good on me too, that are flattering to me.....but I am not going to sacrifice comfort/modesty for vanity's sake, either.

Not shallow at all. Therapy is hard enough without having anxiety about how you look. Looking good helps you feel confident - that confidence will carry over. I plan my T day outfits special as well.

you sound just like me .i feel better if i feel i look ok so ya ill go out and buy a new outfit when i am wanting to deal with people.but as far as what i wear to T these days it is more about how much i am willing to deal.i always wear jeans and some sort of shirt .if i am feeling fat and ugly i will totally cover up.i dont think it is shallow at all

Oops, I didn't realize this thread was specifically about dressing up for therapy. I don't actually dress up for therapy, I dress up more depending on what type of presentation I have to do that day at work.

For therapy I wear whatever I had on at work that day, because I go straight there from work. I do try to make it look like I was at work so that he doesn't have to ask if I went to work that day. We can wear jeans, but if I have dress clothes on, T doesn't ask. I had a problem with agoraphobia and didn't go to work for a while, so I guess T still monitors me for that.

My mother cared an inordinate amount about how I dressed. I always reflected badly upon her. I accepted a long time ago that I am the world's most boring dresser. Usually appropriate, if unimaginative for work, but the rest of the time it is a toss up. I rarely choose to do anything where jeans and a shirt are not perfectly acceptable attire. The therapist is actually one of the last things I would actively dress up for, I would not want the woman to think I cared what she thought of my appearance.
And of course, the ability to freely move to get away quickly should it become necessary.

I wear a uniform to work and there's no way I'm going to see my t dressed in camouflage. (Although, that's something for stopdog to consider- maybe she won't be able to see you.) I usually get home, go for a run and throw on something comfortable for t. I did go once after a big (civilian-type) meeting and was wearing earrings, nice clothes, and makeup. She said, "oh, you're really pretty", as if it were some big surprise. Clothes do maketh the man (or woman).

Lawyers have a uniform. And it works just as well as something camouflage colored to hide.

Pantsuit?

True, that.

Black, gray, or navy suits. It is always fun when the students get dressed up for some school event. I can never tell them apart in their sea of dark suits.

I think how you feel inside when your outside is a certain way is a great topic for discussion next time you don't know what to discuss; dress horribly at that time, go, and talk about it. I don't find it particularly shallow, just another part of yourself you don't get along with, that has "control" over you instead of you having it.

In a perfect world it wouldn’t matter one bit how you dressed for your therapy session. But let’s face it the world we live in is far from perfect. I don’t think there is anything wrong with you wanting to look nice for your therapy appointments, and there is a lot to validate your feeling that "if you look good, you feel good" just the act of going through the effort to get dressed up can boost your mood and confidence.

yeah that's why me, T, and the therapy dolls all go commando. I REALLY gotta logout and go do laundry!!!

I remember replying to CantExplain's thread, and I was one of the few at the time who said I liked to dress up. I know my T doesn't care or judge me on what I wear or how dressed up/made up I am - though no doubt she notices - but I feel more comfortable if I'm more confident in my appearance, so I do tend to make an effort, and wear clothes I feel are flattering but appropriate. I don't even leave the house without makeup, so forgiddaboudit, though T has seen me with tear-stained cheeks on a few occasions.

So no, Chopin, I don't think it makes you shallow. I don't think I'm shallow - or vain - in my case at least it's a self esteem thing.

LOL!

So you don't like to be asked?
And the answer is often no?

My T helped me to see that:
1. I dressed in a way that showed I didn't care how people saw me.
2. I was doing that mostly to show defiance of my mother.

And then I realised that if I really didn't care what my mother thought, I should dress to please myself.

So now I do think at least a little when I get dressed. A woman at group actually complimented me on how I chose my colours. Unbelievable.

I wear a lot of cardigans, which is slightly unusual for a man in my culture - unless you're retired! Not very macho.

The colour generally reflects my mood, especially when I'm going to therapy. I wear dark blue under pressure, white is neutral, and when I'm feeling really confident and and peace with myself I wear pink.

You're correct, I don't like to be asked.

The answer is always yes, so it feels like a waste of time. Plus the idea that he's looking at my clothes grosses me out sometimes.

Hmmm. Looks like T has an agenda here. You might want to explore that.

I tend to dress for therapy the way I dress for the office, since I usually go straight from T to the office. But I'm a grad student, so dark wash jeans are considered dressing up.

The one thing I avoid is red. The only time I ever had a therapist get significantly testy with me was when I was wearing red, which is apparently a high energy, even aggressive color. It was probably a coincidence, but since I have lots of other colors available, I figure there's no need to push it.

I just ran across this article about clothing choices and mood...

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/clot...ssion-0330124/

i never dress up for t, just the opposite. and like others have said, need to be able to move quickly, just in case.
used to be sweats and t-shirts or sweatshirts, now I've upgraded to yoga pants (sooo comfortable) and t-shirts and sweatshirts.
feel the need to try to hide for some reason..
and i don't like being looked at at all,